Interacting with other children

[jill]

I have noticed with Annette that she is not outgoing anymore she used to go up to others and say hello and ask them if they want to play and have fun. she was able to make friends and sometimes the kids just ignored her the hit and miss thing plus some kids go there with others and do not let anyone else in their group. Yesterday I took her to the park not the one in our neighborhood due to the kids will not talk to her they are mean and I observed her. I watched her talk to younger kids and play with a couple for a short time then I watched her play solitary for the remainder of the time and it saddened me. Could this mean her self esteem is down? She used to be so outgoing now a private shell she did have a good time but was a loner and that breaks my heart. I feel bad she is an only child times like this. Any ideas?

[bugsmom]

Awww Jill, that must have been heartbreaking.

I'm sure that Annette is starting to really feel and understand the way other kids are treating her. I know that Josh used to be the same way, very out going and didn't care what others thought of him. But as he got older, he understood that others didn't think his behavior was all that cool and it did kinda bring him down. He also would seek out younger kids (which is typical for ADDers) to play with, because he felt no pressure.

I think your doing all the right things. Taking her to a different park was a wonderful idea. She gets to start fresh with a group of different children. I would just talk to her before you get there and encourage her to seek out others. Maybe you could do a little role playing in the car. You could be a kid on the playground and Annette could practice on you. I used to do this with Josh and it worked out pretty good.

Josh is almost 12, and I have to say he's come out of this stage. When he was 9 and 10 it was the worst. Like I said, I think at that age he was just becoming more aware that he was a little different. I think with your guidence and her therapy, she will get over this hump. Role playing was a big thing at our house...it might be helpful.

[jill]

Thanks for the idea I will try it actually before going out to a park.

[anon4now]

I just read something that kids want to make new friends, but after getting rejected so often, they stop trying. I think my son has dealt with that by hanging out with the "bad" crowd. He always seems to make friends with the bully. Maybe because that kid is going through the same thing, neither one of them is rejected by the other.

My son also gets along very well with younger kids. He likes to make them laugh and be goofy. I've also had good luck with my friends kids. It's almost like they are obligated to play together. Though one of my friends had a girl one year older than my son. Boy did they have a love/hate relationship.


Charmed

[lcdc1]

Hang in there Jill, I know your girl has a great heart and is so loving despite what she appears to put out there to other kids her age! I do believe that is a tough age for ADD kids. Trish is the only one in our family of 3 that has not seen a pyhsc at this time to get either excluded or confirmed ADD (I am pretty sure she is ADD), but at the same age, she was shy and anxious and very timid and had a hard time with kids her age. I all started to work out for her in 4th and 5th grade!

It helped having a big sis that is cool and that is in middle school too, all trish's friends think Ran is so cool, so I guess they started to see some good things in Trish too. Trish has become the kid that is everyones friend now and the go to kid for keeping secrets!

Hang in there and just keep role playing with her so she can start using some social skills that will catch on soon! That age is hard too because girls are like into one best friend at a time and every girl has problems with the more than one friend at a time thing, so maybe your girl just needs to wait til some of that is gone in the group!

[jill]

Thanks and un-fortunetly she is an only child.

[bugsmom]

Jill, does Annette have any cousins that are close to you? Josh is an only child too. He is very close to three of my nephews and they were a God send during this stage. All of them are a few years older than him, but because of our strong family ties I was able to set up lots of playdates and family functions to help Josh socially.

I think its harder for our "Only Children". They don't have siblings to bounce off of. That's why it's so important for us as mothers to make sure they have meaningful social interactions. Hang in there...I know your doing everything you can.

[jill]

She has 1 cousin her age and a second cousin on my side and family functions we avoid or not stay long. My nephew is a mean rotten little brat and is down right mean to Annette and will tell Eden (second niece) to ignore her and she will. the brat refers to my girl is "that thing" why the little brat got a cheapy gift for his birthday. On the other side no one her age. I have 2-3 people she plays with that I do get togethers with what is hard is the distance 15-30 minute drive but worth it.

[lcdc1]

Apr 10, 2008 6:34:43 GMT -5 jill said:

Thanks and un-fortunetly she is an only child.

......borrow a cool one!!!! ;D

[jill]

Apr 16, 2008 1:53:33 GMT -5 lcdc1 said:

Apr 10, 2008 6:34:43 GMT -5 jill said:

Thanks and un-fortunetly she is an only child.

......borrow a cool one!!!! ;D

* but your kids live to far away. I have even considered adopting a child her age or around her age but the background thing can prove more stressful with more issues to handle then the fact they may not get along and my girl will think the girl is her play thing and not get it and will want her to do what she wants when she wants it. Also my girl is used to getting all of our attention.