Middle School and bullying

[jill]

Annette had this boy who bugged her since Kindergarden and he would turn the rest of the class on her. Anyways last year at her IEP meeting the school social worker stated this kid does target Annette and the others join in kind of thing he sets the tone. We were assured at the meeting they would not be together in any classes. Orientation day meet and greet the teachers low and behold who is in her homeroom and resource room. I called immediately and they moved Annette's homeroom and in resource would be placed far apart.

That same kid this week was going by Annette making noises at her so when she asked him to stop he walked over as she was putting her books in her locker and pushed her into her locker and knocking her over. One of Annette's teachers saw the whole thing and grabbed him and to give school credit they did take immediate action. The boy got 2 days in school suspension and his parents were called. Prior to this there was another boy getting in her face daily telling her "you are ugly and hideous and no one likes you". Due to having friends in high places I told my husband who is the school Custodian and has a lot of teacher friends so one of them took the kid aside and talked to him. Apparently the boy burst out in tears and spilled the beans on himself and what others have been doing to my kid. I will not even get into the homework arggg! I wish I can afford to homeschool or do something else at times. I am glad most of the teachers and Principal are friendly with my husband.

The last sad part she only has 1 good friend.

[jj]

I'll never understand why kids feel the need to pick on other kids. I'm so glad that kid that told her she was ugly, which is ridiculous because she is adorable, was talked to and I'm glad he burst into tears. That tells me they shook him up a little and he should be shook up. I'm sure the tears were not because he was sorry but rather that he got caught but if it stops further name calling then that is still a good thing.

It does sound like your school is on top of things and thank goodness you have a little "inside" pull.

And Jill, don't worry about her just having one friend. I had one friend for a long time in middle school and in my case, I don't think it was because there weren't other kids that could have been friends. It was more like... I have this friend and the thought of making other freinds didn't even occur to me as my one friend was enough... if that makes sense. We'll just keep our fingers crossed this one friend sticks by her.

[charliegirl]

I think the middle school years are the worst. Its bad when they are younger but they get vicious then. It was a nightmare for us.

All I can suggest is keep on top of it and if it gets physical again, make police report. You have to protect Annette and if the school can't stop it, you need to before it gets out of hand.

If you think back a couple of years we PM'd about what I was going through due to the bullying my son took. Take it from me, be proactive if what the school has done doesn't work. She does not need to live in fear or with being embarrassed continually.

PM me if you want to talk about it. I understand what you are going through.

[jill]

thanks Charliegirl. I did give Annette permission if anything gets physical to not only report it but to use her martial arts to protect herself. The training should be good for something other than sport. As for her one friend JJ the girl has been loyal to her few years now love the girl. Her name is Alexis and if Nette is wandering or getting impulsive the girl tells her not to do that and leads her in the right direction. Alexis is an A student and loves to read and when she is with Nette someone I do not have to worry she does keep her straight and narrow. Those are the reasons I do not mind spending money on the girl.

[charliegirl]

Its wonderful that she has such a good friend. That makes so much difference to their self esteem.

I'm also glad she took martial arts and did so well at it. I wish I had been able to get my son to classes when he was younger. They were all so far away we just couldn't do it.

[jill]

Annette is up to Green Belt now and is up for testing in November for Blue Stripe. She has been in it now 13 months still loves it. I am crazy soccer mom for tae kwon do is 3 days a week (homework gets in way sometimes comes first) so we try 3 days, then dance on Fridays. She is only in 2 dances this year had to cut cost.

[katiekat]

Sean just told me today that he is dealing with a bully at school. This kid is a grade ahead of him but the special ed. classroom is combined grades and he is in there with him. He is also bothering him out on the playground. I was glad to hear nothing physical has taken place but already emailed the teacher tonight so we can take care of this before it goes any further. She responded immediately and said she will be talking to this boy tomorrow and let me know what happens. Here's the funny thing-when Sean told me his name it was the same exact name as someone I knew from high school. This kid and his brother were complete animals and huge troublemakers...Im wondering if this is Jr?

[jill]

I am glad you reported it. See if they can have them separated somehow like seating away from one another and in the playground have someone nearby to supervise closer. If you lived closer Annette can teach him a few moves.

[unicorn]

Tiff had to deal with a girl last year and she went to her guidance counselor and straightened it out.

Tiff like Annette only has like 2 true close friends. Anyone else comes and goes.

This year people are just mean. Several of them play on her niceness and wanting everyone to like her. I have tried to help her recognize "friends" as opposed to people who are truly there for everything.

I am happy to see that more and more schools have a zero tolerance policy and are really tough on this.

[jill]

We are still having issues apparently kids during class were kicking Annette's chair towards others who got mad at her and treated her like she is a disease then were putting things in her face distracting her. Since then they moved her desk in several classes and yesterday she told me the boy behind her (a boy she has had difficulty in the past) has been trying to knock her books down from under her chair or trying to pull her closer to him and she is fearful. If not for a snow day I would be calling the teacher again today. Will these Heathens leave my baby alone.