ADHD, good, bad, and the ugly....

[lcdc1]

I have been thinking a lot lately (yes funny, it hurts sometimes - all you jokers out there!) and I think I have been focused on a lot of negative so I am trying something and want to see if there are others like me out there.

I tend to tell myself all the negative about me and what a screw up I can be most of the time and if things go well, I always have that nagging feeling that I am a poser. Sooooooooooo

Here it is (what I am trying to do):

list the positive side of ADHD, then the bad, and sometimes the really ugly side of it.

Good - I am a comedian all the time,
Bad - I can be sarcastic at the wrong times and I feel bad when I do it,
Ugly part of it - I have said what was on my mind and hurt some people badly!!

Ok, I will do one more I have thought of:

Good - I taught myself to play 3 instruments (hyperfocus),
Bad - I can hyperfocus on video games at the expense of sleep and food,
ugly part - I cannot teach myself to even organize my bills or sometimes my schedule and I get my phone cutoff or nasty mail about late payments!

Who is next?

[jj]

I'm not officially DX'd but I'll give this a try.

The good: Once I get going on a project I can work and work for hours on it until it is done and perfect.
The bad: I log in far more hours looking for things I misplaced than doing anything productive. (at home)
The ugly: I procrastinate until things become a crisis (my personal affairs)

[misty]

I want to do one for my 13 year old daughter:

The good: She has a great sense of humor!

The bad: She can quickly get wound up being silly & it turns obnoxious.

The ugly: When she gets too wound up, she's unable to stop herself or be stopped & it can turn into me having to scream at her just to be heard by her.

[charliegirl]

Ok, with me the good is that when I decide to do something and start to get into it, I can slide into hyperfocus and charge ahead.

I can be very creative. If I need a gift for someone and can't afford what I would like to spend, I can usually think up a way to make something that will be really special to them. I also usually have people copying my son's halloween costumes the following year. Thats always cool.

The down side is that when I can't hyperfocus I either can't remember things I need to or I lose interest.

I also get bored with things easily. I will be gung ho on something and then wham! I am sick of it and can't make myself do it. If I have to anyway, its so much more difficult than it used to be.

Also, when I am hyperfocussed on something its very hard to distract me and I resent any distractions. I will snap at my poor son for asking me a question or not even hear him. I usually realize immediately when I have snapped at him but its still not a good thing to do. I am trying to explain to him that I do love him and its the ADHD affecting me and I am so sorry. He has a hard time understanding how I can do that when I love him even though he will do the same thing to me.

I do speak impulsively too often. I will be talking to someone but can't think quickly enough to sound like I have 1/2 a brain.

I am terribly disorganized. If I can have no clutter and a place for everything I am ok, but thats impossible with a packrat son and hubby who not only can't stand to toss anything but thinks all his stuff needs to be out where he can grab it easily.

I rarely see the positive side of me. I see the screw ups but when I do something right, I feel like I should be doing things right all the time, not just once in a while.

I could go on for pages here about the negatives. I would love to not have ADHD. For some people, the positives outweigh the negatives but I think a lot of that is they way the people in your life treat you. If they are supportive and encouraging and help you find a way to use your strengths, you can really be a success story. For most of us growing up when I did, it was more likely that they would try to discipline it out of you and refuse to encourage you since they "knew" you were too lazy to follow through with college, etc.

Man, I sound like a major pity party is going on. Actually, I don't usually think about all the negative stuff. I just keep going and try not to dwell on all the screw ups.

[John]

Great Idea !

Good:

I think I have a sense of Humor {somewhere}.
Yes I've got the HyperFocus Thingy too.
If your my friend, I'll do anything for you.

Bad:

I can get a bit snobbish. {Believe it or NOT !}
I can ignore people and just think to 'self, 'Oh grow up & get over it''.
Hard to be involved in 'something' for extended periods of time. I'm really Proud of myself that I've been involved in the Site for over a Year ! {Pats self on the back}.

Ugly:

Tend to have a ''All or Nothing' way of thinking. Bad for interactions, relationships, job etc.
I think I don't need people and can do everything on my own, then go 'cry' in my beer when no one notices I need help.
PROCRASTINATE { ! ! ! } out the Wazoo. {I know that's a real word [somewhere] Hee.hee}.

[jj]

john said:

Great Idea !

I think I don't need people and can do everything on my own, then go 'cry' in my beer when no one notices I need help.

Oh boy. You just picked one of my Uglies. Most of my life I have actually hated anyone to offer to do anything for me (and very much including my husbands) and I have rarely, if ever, asked anyone to help me no matter how destitute I was. My family has really got used to me being this way. Now that I have Mom I've been "crying in my beer", so to speak, that no one has offered to come give me a break. Have I asked? NO! Do I really need someone to give me a break. NO! But I find I'm being a little resentful no one has insisted I have a break. Gosh, when I put that in writing it is so stupid.

On the flip side of the coin and under the "Good" I too will help anyone who asks whether it be for my time, money, or know-how. Funny how I'm so willing to help others but am so selfish or whatever you call it that I get really, really, really uncomfortable for any one to help me.

[misty]

john said:

Hard to be involved in 'something' for extended periods of time. I'm really Proud of myself that I've been involved in the Site for over a Year ! {Pats self on the back}.

Thats because you know how much we all love you & how sad we'd be if you left!


About the asking for help subject, I don't think thats an ADHD trait, but more a Type A personality trait. I'm the same way. To ask for help seems to be an admittance of weakness so I never ask & yes, I feel bad when no one notices the stress it causes & no one offers to help. Yes, I too know that its ridiculous to feel that way, but who can help the way they feel? I also find myself thinking that "If I don't do it myself, it won't be done right" so that even while I'm resenting not being offered help I'm afraid someone will try to help. Silly, huh?

[John]

author= Misty
Thats because you know how much we all love you & how sad we'd be if you left!

Silly, huh?

!. Dawn, Flattery will get you everywhere with me . . . No Seriously ~ Thanks.

2. ''Silly, huh'' To answer your question: YES ! LOL

[lostmyshoe]

A little late on this one folks. I could probably write a list as long as both arms but these are the things that stick out most.

Good - I am hyper vigilant about what I say and do around others because I know how easily I can slip up without thinking first. I think it also helps me as an artist to see the world on many levels. I am also hyper vigilant about my work. I wish I were that vigilant with my housework,lol.
Bad - I am terribly disorganized, I am a procrastinator and sometimes lose things or forget things
Ugly - I can be too impulsive and too emotional. I also get really down on myself and don't have enough self confidence.

[unicorn]

Ok for Tiff here goes:

Good - sweet, loving, everyone's friend

Bad - very disorganized, can't stay on task, impulsive

Ugly - mean, bossy, rude