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Post by lgyver on Nov 9, 2009 15:23:00 GMT -5
 I've had full custody of my beautiful niece, Sarah since she was almost 3 years old, but took care of her on & off, more on since birth. Her biological mom has bipolar along with a bunch of other disorders. Also though, at age 23 months Sarah was ran over by a car by her mother's boyfriend in which she sustained multiple life threatening injuries. Sarah is literally a miracle girl and to see her today you'd never suspect such a tragic event ever happened to her. Thank God! I fought long and hard and saved Sarah from what would have been ultimately death if to remain in her biological mother's custody. Sarah has been living a very normal and loving life ever since. I am very confused and concerned about Sarah....... she talks non-stop and sometimes about things I don't understand or just doesn't make any logical sense. Seems she needs to hear her own voice all the time, if not talking, then always singing or making odd noises and saying things out loud. She lies for no reason, makes up stories of no significance. Sarah is a great little girl and I love her more than anything, but she can also be very manipulative to achieve what she wants. Also, although I know she loves me, there is a lack of concern/caring....... for example, holidays or birthdays seem to mean nothing to her when it comes to me or relatives and friends, however; she is very attentive to what she wants. Is this normal? It doesn't feel it to me. I have been contemplating counseling for the past several years and have not thus yet due to not wanting Sarah labeled for the rest of her life.
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Post by katiekat on Nov 9, 2009 15:35:32 GMT -5
Welcome lgyver! I'm so glad you found us.
I have to say that everything you are saying about your niece sounds identical to my 9 year old stepson. How old is Sarah now?
Sean never stops talking either and often talks nonsense. If he is not talking he is making noises.
He lies as well and is EXTREMELY manipulative.
Sean also seems to have a lack of concern for others and is very self-involved. More so than the average child.
We have taken him to more psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists than I can remember. We have had him evaluated and tested for everything. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, and possible attachment disorder.(his bio mother is bipolar and left him when he was a year old) We're not exactly sure which of these are correct but he is on medication for bipolar, which has made a huge difference. I would not worry about having her labled so much as getting her the help she needs. Is she in school? Have they ever mentioned any issues or suggested that she be evaluated?
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Post by misty on Nov 9, 2009 16:08:54 GMT -5
 Hi! Katiekat asked some excellent questions. I also wanted to point out that bipolar is hereditary so it wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated.Childhood bipolar looks much different than the adult version. My daughter was 9 when she was evaluated & "labeled". She has inattentive type ADHD & a math learning disability. I was worried also that labeling her might do more harm than good, but I was wrong. She's 15 now & doing excellent in school because she's getting the help she needs. I think once you have a diagnosis & kn ow exactly what you are dealing with, then you can tackle some of the issues. My daughter is the same way with Holidays & birthdays........I have to threaten her just to get her to buy her grandparents a gift, but she's ALL about what she wants! She was a non stop talker/singer/noise maker too, but she has somewhat out grown that, although not completely! Anyway, I'm glad you found us & I'm sure you will get tons of support here! |
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Post by jj on Nov 9, 2009 21:21:00 GMT -5
Hi Lgyver,
A big welcome to you! Bless you for taking in your niece. It does sound like you saved her from a very hard and dangerous life.
Some of what you said sounds much like me when I was looking for help for my niece (9ish at that time) except she lives with her paternal parents who love her dearly and do the best they can for her.
The non-stop talking, the noise making was my niece at that age. She could drive you nuts with her noises but with my niece, the more you protested that she stop the funnier she thought it was to continue. (She is 16 now and thank goodness grew out of that) My niece is also very self-envolved. My niece is maybe somewhat different from what you posted, in that, as long as I can remember she would just take off on her own without a care in the world and still does that to this day which is very concerning yet on the other hand, if either of her parents want to leave she become clingy and needy. (Probably that self-envolved thing kicking in..if it isn't something done for her she doesn't like it.)
My niece has officially been DX's with ADHD but I'm fairly certain she is bipolar or ODD. Bipolar runs on the Dad's side and ADHD/bipolar on the Mom's side.
I'm of the opinion that each and everyone of us could be labeled with some sort of disorder, learning disability or something we don't do well at and whether it is mild or severe. When our deficiencies start to interfere with our social and/or academic life that is when you probably need to find out what is going on.
You can always find a good child psychologist that specializes in childhood disorders and whatever the outcome, you don't have to disclose it to anyone unless the need presents itself. (If you live in a small town I can't guarantee the word wouldn't get out and although I find this very unethical, unfortunately it happens.)
Just keep reading all you can about childhood disorders, keep asking questions and I'm sure you'll know when and if the time is right to have her evaluated.
And again, welcome to our group.
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Post by jill on Nov 10, 2009 7:33:43 GMT -5
Welcome to the board. Counseling will not label a child and I would go for it would not hurt. You are a miracle too for the little girl.
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Post by bugsmom on Nov 10, 2009 11:52:33 GMT -5
Welcome, Lgyver! I'm so glad that you have found us.  I can only echo everyone's advice and say that getting and evaluation would be your first step. With you neices family history you can't go wrong. Although this step is scary (we've all been there), it will certainly bring you peice of mind. Don't worry about the labeling. I know that's a concern, but with the right evaluation you gain wisdom, and can help your neice even more. She is so blessed to have such a wonderful Aunt. Please come back often and ask us any questions you might have. |
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Post by lgyver on Nov 11, 2009 12:42:05 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone who has and will take the time and caring to reply to my situation, you are appreciated. Good luck and patience to you all.  Attachments:
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Post by misty on Nov 11, 2009 12:45:05 GMT -5
She is just adorable! Thanks for sharing her photo. We do also have a photo board down in the friendship section. It can only be seen by registered members, to protect everyone's privacy. Feel free to browse & also post any photos you wish there.
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Post by lgyver on Nov 11, 2009 12:53:50 GMT -5
Hello Katiekat. Thank you for your reply. Sarah is 9, she will be 10 on December 14. No, her school- teachers have not said anything of being evaluated. Two years ago I inquired about ADHD with her pediatrician who at the time gave me 2 evaluations to complete, one for myself and the other for her teacher. Although, we both completed them and the results were almost exact, which did indeed imply her having ADHD, I never returned them to her pediatrician......... due to the labeling concern I had.
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Post by lgyver on Nov 11, 2009 12:55:59 GMT -5
Misty: Thank you for your response and compliment. I was not aware of the picture posting section since I am still learning the site. Thank you much.
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