Therapy????

[sweetnsilly26]

My daughter started therapy yesterday to help with her anger, she goes off on her siblings...I have never done this before but how does it work? I was asked so many questions from how do I didcipline her to what reasons doesshe get the discipline..I had to sign a minor release that they will not tell me or anyone what goes on in the room or what is said every week. Is this normal because I do not feel comfortable...I just sat there and wondered should I teach my daughter to confide in this total stranger and he wont tell anyone what is said, and I feel like I am not teaching her to not talk to one of her parents. I don't know I just have sooo many mixed feelings about this.

[katiekat]

I take Sean to a psychiatrist once a week...anger is one of his issues...and quite honestly I think it is a big waste of time. Because he is so young I am in the room when she sees him 99% of the time. She asks him questions, he answers her(or not) and then she says uh huh. I would ask your therapist if has a plan,is he going to give your daughter alternative ways to deal with her anger, is he going to talk to you about how you should respond when she "explodes" or is he just going to "chat"? I know I expected something different than what we are getting.If, at Sean's cardio. eval. we are told that he can definitely not be medicated I will be stopping the psych. appointments.

[sweetnsilly26]

He has already gave her something to do when she gets angry...she is to blow up 5 baloons, not much air and she has to pop them ,she can't use her teeth or hands. enough air to where you jump on them they shoot the other way. It takes about 10 to 15 min to pop them. and an excercize for all the kids. for every mean thing they do to the other they will have to do a nice thing....like if one says I hate you to the other then that person will have to make an I love you card for the one they said I hate you to. or if they hit the other, they have to make their bed.

[misty]

Shannon went to therapy for roughly a year. I wasn't in the room, except for about 10 minutes at the end of every session. I did'nt look at it as teaching her to tell a stranger things she won't tell us, but rather taught her that she can tell her Drs anything & that they can be trusted. I think it just gave her someone else to talk to, but quite frankly, I don't think it was really doing much good so I discontinued it. She has my mom, my sister, & her own older half sister to talk to if she wants someone other than me to confide in & they work just as well as having a therapist.

[charliegirl]

I took my daughter to one when she was 7 or 8. I also took my son last year. Both times I signed an agreement that they wouldn't tell me what was said

BUT I told both of my kids in front of their therapist that I wouldn't ask the therapist but they (my kids) could talk to me at any time about what went on and what was discussed if they chose to!

I wouldn't let them go with the therapist until the therapist reaffirmed that yes, they can tell me anything but the therapist wouldn't share what they told her unless they felt they had to in order to keep my child from getting hurt.

I did also tell my kids that I wouldn't ask them what was discussed but that any time they wanted to talk about it, I was ready to listen.

That gave my kids a measure of protection. They knew that the therapist had agreed that they could tell me anything, so the therapist couldn't later tell them to keep anything secret without my agreeing to it. They also knew that they could tell the therapist things they might be scared to tell me, like if they were thinking of hurting themselves or someone was hurting them and they were afraid I would get too angry about it.

[jill]

Therapists have ways to get people to open up and the trust thing will happen if your daughter feels comfortable.

[bugsmom]

Sweets...my Josh has a wonderful therapist that he started with a couple of years ago. I have to say when he was younger, say 7 or 8, it wasn't too helpful. They really don't understand why they are there and I felt it was a waste of time. But last year he was dealing with severe anxiety and anger and he was now 10, and it was VERY helpful. He really trusts his doc and she has a great bond with him. He only goes now when problems arise, or if you can believe it, he request to go and talk with her.

I did the exact same thing that CG did about letting them talk about the session. I don't ask, but if Josh wants to talk about it, I think thats ok. At first I felt funny about not getting feed back from the doc, but now it feels ok. I have to remember that it is his doctor, not mine.

Josh's doc mainly is a sounding board for him and just someone to talk to when he get frustrated with the world. She has taught him some awesome techniques to deal with his anxiety and anger issues and has taliored them just for him. He still comes to me about everything, but I think for him, having this outside person understand what he goes through is a blessing.

[lostmyshoe]

It was hard for me too to have Becca speak to our therapist without me there, but I think it helped because sometimes they need someone that is outside of the situation to be their sounding board. I also know that if there were any serious issues that we need to know about that the therapist would tell us. We have been seeing him for over a year now and we are very comfortable and confident with him. He is also a christian and we have all prayed together. That just gives me such a sense of comfort. If you are comfortable with the doctor and confident in them then your child will be too. Our therapist didn't see Becca alone right away. We had a bunch of family sessions and then when she felt comfortable and wanted to speak alone it worked out well.

[Tigger]

I am having a hard time with this to sweet. My kids started therapy about a month ago and I sure feel aweful about this. I feel like i am going to loose that conection that we have. I also feel that my kids will get to where they will never talk to me again. So I dont like this but i have to have them going. So I know where you are coming from.

[lostmyshoe]

Tig,

Even though we see a counselor, I want you to know that I still have that very close connection with my daughter. We sat up the other night and talked for hours about what she is going through at school. I try to just hear her out and be a sounding board. After she is finished talking we try to figure out solutions together. I try not to be judgmental or argumentative when she is vulnerable and wanted advice and sad. This has always worked well with her and I and the counseling has not changed this. As long as your children know that you are on their side and there is always an open door when they need you, that connection will remain.