Post by unicorn on Nov 24, 2007 15:33:15 GMT -5
This is critical insight.
Think of your child's brain as a city with streets and avenues that carry traffic.
The streets are neuro-pathways and the traffic is all the information, sensory inputs,
impulses, feelings, instructions and even your wonderful lectures that the brain has to process.
Two interesting things happen in the brains of more challenging, creative children.
Today, we'll examine the first.
# 1 Traffic Lights Are Not In Synch
First, chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters (especially dopamine) help brain cells communicate with each other. In our kids, these neurotransmitters do not communicate well with each others. It's like the traffic signals that regulate traffic in the brain are not working.
Let's say it's Friday afternoon at rush hour in your city, and the traffic lights go out. What is the result? Gridlock, traffic jams, frustration, chaos. That's why the first need our kids have is for order and structure.
So how do we see this chaos manifested in our children? This is where it gets interesting.
1. Disorganization and forgetfulness.
2. Executive function is inhibited. This is the meeting planner in the brain responsible for planning, organizing, following details.
3. Difficulty with short term memory.
4. Impulse control. When the red light or stop sign isn't working, it's difficult to say no to those impulses in time.
5. Slow processing. Think of their brains this way. How many of you have ever watched the financial news to check out your stock price by looking at the stock ticker scrolling at the bottom of the screen? You know how frustrating it is when it moves
so quickly and you miss your stock symbol, then have to wait until it comes all the way back around. That's what it's like in our kids' brains-the information moves very quickly.
Now think about your child's brain being just like their bedroom. All the clothes and stuff they own is in that bedroom, but it's anyone's guess where things are. Clothes may be under the bed, buried under large piles, hanging out the dresser
drawers, stuffed in the closet. When your child needs to access information in their brain, it's up there. It just may take a while to find it.
6. So now you can understand why organizing thoughts and the process of writing-of getting thoughts from head to paper-can be so challenging. That's also why our kids come home from school mentally taxed and just plain tired.
7. So what other kind of manifestations do we see? Some parents see OCD (obsessive compulsive) attributes, a need to always know "what's the plan, what's the plan."
Because they don't have order inside, they want to know what to expect.
8. Here's a good one for you. Are your kids bossy and do they like to control others? That's one of their most endearing qualities! I have to admit, this one stumped me for a long time. When we first began our Camps, we'd put a board game like Monopoly
out on the table and have the kids play. You know what resulted? Bloodshed! Not really, but close. We couldn't even get the game started. They had to argue over who was what piece, who went first, how much money you got, who was the banker,
the rules of the game. Ahhhhh. Here's an important tip. When your kids display a behavior like this, just watch
them and ask yourself, what is the need my child has? What we determined-and this was a huge breakthrough-was that this behavior emanated from the feeling of chaos inside. Follow this. If I don't feel in control of my body and my impulses, if I
don't feel good about myself, I am going to try to control everything on the outside that I can. That includes people and situations.
This is also why our kids like to eliminate unknowns in their life. They will often wear the same clothes (especially hoody sweatshirts or baggy clothes), eat the same food and keep the same routine.
9. I know I'll get some head nods with this one. Does your child talk about "fairness" a lot? They usually like to point out when others-never themselves-break the rules or when you aren't "fair" with treatment among siblings. That's why we say they often make the perfect policeman, judge and attorney all wrapped into one.
Guess why? Fairness is all about making order of the universe. Did you know Einstein's entire life's work was dominated by one overriding objective-to explain how the universe was held together by order and a master plan.
10. Finally, anxiety is a huge aggravator for our kids. When your world is spinning inside and the outside world is just as chaotic, that creates an enormous amount of anxiety. Hence the difficulty with transitions, new situations and meltdowns over little things gone awry.
Think of your child's brain as a city with streets and avenues that carry traffic.
The streets are neuro-pathways and the traffic is all the information, sensory inputs,
impulses, feelings, instructions and even your wonderful lectures that the brain has to process.
Two interesting things happen in the brains of more challenging, creative children.
Today, we'll examine the first.
# 1 Traffic Lights Are Not In Synch
First, chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters (especially dopamine) help brain cells communicate with each other. In our kids, these neurotransmitters do not communicate well with each others. It's like the traffic signals that regulate traffic in the brain are not working.
Let's say it's Friday afternoon at rush hour in your city, and the traffic lights go out. What is the result? Gridlock, traffic jams, frustration, chaos. That's why the first need our kids have is for order and structure.
So how do we see this chaos manifested in our children? This is where it gets interesting.
1. Disorganization and forgetfulness.
2. Executive function is inhibited. This is the meeting planner in the brain responsible for planning, organizing, following details.
3. Difficulty with short term memory.
4. Impulse control. When the red light or stop sign isn't working, it's difficult to say no to those impulses in time.
5. Slow processing. Think of their brains this way. How many of you have ever watched the financial news to check out your stock price by looking at the stock ticker scrolling at the bottom of the screen? You know how frustrating it is when it moves
so quickly and you miss your stock symbol, then have to wait until it comes all the way back around. That's what it's like in our kids' brains-the information moves very quickly.
Now think about your child's brain being just like their bedroom. All the clothes and stuff they own is in that bedroom, but it's anyone's guess where things are. Clothes may be under the bed, buried under large piles, hanging out the dresser
drawers, stuffed in the closet. When your child needs to access information in their brain, it's up there. It just may take a while to find it.
6. So now you can understand why organizing thoughts and the process of writing-of getting thoughts from head to paper-can be so challenging. That's also why our kids come home from school mentally taxed and just plain tired.
7. So what other kind of manifestations do we see? Some parents see OCD (obsessive compulsive) attributes, a need to always know "what's the plan, what's the plan."
Because they don't have order inside, they want to know what to expect.
8. Here's a good one for you. Are your kids bossy and do they like to control others? That's one of their most endearing qualities! I have to admit, this one stumped me for a long time. When we first began our Camps, we'd put a board game like Monopoly
out on the table and have the kids play. You know what resulted? Bloodshed! Not really, but close. We couldn't even get the game started. They had to argue over who was what piece, who went first, how much money you got, who was the banker,
the rules of the game. Ahhhhh. Here's an important tip. When your kids display a behavior like this, just watch
them and ask yourself, what is the need my child has? What we determined-and this was a huge breakthrough-was that this behavior emanated from the feeling of chaos inside. Follow this. If I don't feel in control of my body and my impulses, if I
don't feel good about myself, I am going to try to control everything on the outside that I can. That includes people and situations.
This is also why our kids like to eliminate unknowns in their life. They will often wear the same clothes (especially hoody sweatshirts or baggy clothes), eat the same food and keep the same routine.
9. I know I'll get some head nods with this one. Does your child talk about "fairness" a lot? They usually like to point out when others-never themselves-break the rules or when you aren't "fair" with treatment among siblings. That's why we say they often make the perfect policeman, judge and attorney all wrapped into one.
Guess why? Fairness is all about making order of the universe. Did you know Einstein's entire life's work was dominated by one overriding objective-to explain how the universe was held together by order and a master plan.
10. Finally, anxiety is a huge aggravator for our kids. When your world is spinning inside and the outside world is just as chaotic, that creates an enormous amount of anxiety. Hence the difficulty with transitions, new situations and meltdowns over little things gone awry.