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Post by jill on Dec 10, 2007 8:19:04 GMT -5
Not only is Annette regressing she was doing it at the psychologists office she is doing things she did as a 3 and 4 year old and almost infantile at times. I am concerned should I call the psychologist back or wait it out another week. She is also being real clingy to me should I be more concerned. I feel it in my heart something else is going on with her but cannot put my finger on what it is I had her tested for OCD and the psychologist said no (I still disagree she has a bit of it she has to fix things the way she feels they should be) and for mild autism, aspergers and was told she does not meet the criteria. Did i miss anything? Her annual IEP is coming up in January and the school psychologist told me he has to re-screen her I am thinking about discussing some of my concerns with him for another opinion so to speak. I am unsure what to do with her at this point I know it was suggested evening dose of meds which I am sitting on due to out of my comfort zone and do not need her having trouble with sleep. Arggg!
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Post by katiekat on Dec 10, 2007 9:55:17 GMT -5
I know exactly what you are going through Jill. I feel the same way-that something else is going on and no one can quite figure it out. Sean acts quite babyish and sometimes even more so than usual. Behaving like a 3 or 4 year old is an everyday thing here. What did the psych say when she was behaving that way at her appt? I would give it a few days to see if she stops on her own. When Sean starts the "baby games" I usually remind him of the privileges he has as a big boy and that if he is going to act like a baby he will lose those, since babies go to bed earlier, don't eat snacks or play video games etc..
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Post by charliegirl on Dec 10, 2007 15:55:50 GMT -5
Jonathan used to regress to brattish or should I say even brattier baby behavior but not to the extent you both are dealing with. I honestly don't think we are dealing with the same thing you are.
Remebering how hard halloween was for her, she doesn't seem to take stress and change well at all. Is she under a different kind of stress than she has been? Is school harder? Is there a younger child she is around more than usual? I'm wondering if you should talk to the psych about dealing with stress, maybe even a mood stabilizer.
Doing what KK said and pointing out that Jonathan could be treated like a baby and lose his big boy priviledges worked for him.
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Post by jill on Dec 10, 2007 19:00:06 GMT -5
Charliegirl I never thought stress can be a the problem school is harder on her this year she is especially struggling in math. There is also stress in the home with finances and her father and I are arguing a lot and we wait until we think she is asleep but hubby has un-diagnosed and cannot deal with his stresses and will yell and scream all the time like a walking time bomb and can be self centered and lately his temper has been getting the best of me and I am feeling like I cannot do this anymore and am ready to leave him. I hate his tantrums and do not like how he screams at her constantly then we get into it and I am trying to keep her out of it but I am sure when we think she is asleep she may be listening. Hubby was supposed to go for help 2 years ago and you can see where that got me. I basically told him If I leave he will not have overnights for visits being the Social worker i am any child comes first especially mine and I would not want her yelled at all the time. I am at crossroads and feel if I do leave it would tear her world apart and I do not want to do that to her either. Yes I am on a wait list for counseling for myself my brother insisted and is my babysitter once it begins and will continue if we go to marriage counseling again.
I will call the psychologist later this week and give it a few more days. The hard part is if it is stress from the home explaining it to the psychologist would be embarrassing for me and humiliating.
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Post by charliegirl on Dec 10, 2007 20:17:26 GMT -5
I know it will be hard but if it is stress from home only removing the stress or helping her cope with it is going to help her. I go through the same thing with my dh.
I used to call dh Grampa Grumps to the twins when he got going but he won't go into a fit now when they are around. My daughter made it clear that the twins can't be around him if he is going to be like that.
Dh gets after Jonathan like that too. He is under a lot of stress himself and it comes out in such a negative way. I did talk to therapist about it and about leaving him if things didn't change. He got better for a while but lately the stress is really bad so he is having a very hard time controlling himself.
I let my son vent to me and agree with him that his father shouldn't be like that. Then I discuss with him why Dad gets like that, that it isn't him or me, its circumstances we can't control right now. We discuss that Dad loves him and all the things his father does with and for him. It helps my son understand that it isn't directed at him and it isn't personal.
Just today I had to assure him that things have been worse for us financially and we have survived and gotten past it and we will again. Its amazing how much a child can pick up on and when they don't understand they think the worst. Being even younger than Jonathan, I bet your ds is scared of what will happen if she hears you arguing about money.
I wish there was a way I could get our kids past this sort of thing. Leaving their fathers isn't the answer in most cases. Finances are probably going to be worse without two incomes and then they will have to adjust to not having one of their parents at home.
Talk to someone and see if they can help you figure out how to find a way to get your dh to get help with his anger. He has to understand what he is doing to your ds. I honestly think they don't realize at the time that their behavior upsets the kids as much as it does. The them, its over when its over but to the kids, it can affect them for a lifetime.
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Post by jill on Dec 11, 2007 7:05:12 GMT -5
Charliegirl I gave up on hubby it has been at least 2 years he has needed help and I am calling somewhere for myself for counseling it is funny I help others all week long and now I need some help with my life decisions. As for if I were to leave him I would not be able to afford the house myself or if I did I would be struggling more but I know I can afford a nice place for Annette and I will be okay currently I make more money than hubby. I will keep you posted.
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Post by charliegirl on Dec 11, 2007 14:15:38 GMT -5
I know exactly what you mean. I think counseling for yourself is a great idea. It will help you think more clearly about everything and what you can do about it if you have the right counselor.
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Post by jj on Dec 11, 2007 23:29:01 GMT -5
I think you all pretty much figured out what is going on with your little girl. And Jill, I'm so sorry you are going through some rough times with your husband. (I've been there too but I'm grateful there weren't kids involved) I think you are doing the right thing going to counseling for yourself and you yourself know the merits of that. I just wanted to show my support in what you are doing but don't really have anything helpful to add.
Just hang in there and do what is best for you and your little darling girl.
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Post by jill on Dec 12, 2007 19:29:38 GMT -5
I have my first counseling appointment January 15th and feel good about it. Making the appointment was awkward due to I counsel and help others on the job all the time but for myself seemed weird.
Now the child has been making noises repetitiously different noises too, more stuff for the psychologist.
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I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
