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Post by jill on Sept 17, 2007 19:03:09 GMT -5
Every day is a struggle and argument when it comes to homework. She is on Ritalin La for school and has reduced homework and an IEP to answer those questions. I do not feel it is a distractability problem I feel I am dealing with pure behavior. I have tried to make her sit time out until she is ready, stay in bedroom for time out until ready and bed early, and a letter to teacher and very little change she does not care. She spends more time arguing and giving us a hard time than it would take to get things done. I have even tried the reward system and giving her breaks in between all that does is make it harder to get back to working. I am also getting fed up with her psychologist for every time I call him it is the same song and dance "have her practice doing the work and listening" blah blah blah! I am giving it another shot and may even tell him he is not meeting my needs. Then I will have to move on if things do not change.
Ideas welcome SOS
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Post by misty on Sept 17, 2007 19:11:01 GMT -5
When Shannon was a bit younger & going through the same crap, we tried everything & the only thing we found that worked was not letting her do anything else until the homework was done. After school she'd get a snack & brief unwinding time & then it was homework time & there was nothing--no TV, no computer, no eating or drinking--nothing until the homework was finished. I told her the ball was in her court. If she chose to sit there & argue, whine, cry, or mess around until 2 AM, then so be it, but she'd be the one missing her favorite TV shows & not getting a bedtime snack or to read or play outside. If, on the other hand, she just chose to get the work done then the rest of the time before bed could be her free time to have fun & play, watch TV, etc.
It took a good couple weeks but eventually she realized I wasn't kidding.
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Post by misty on Sept 17, 2007 19:12:10 GMT -5
Oh & we don't let her stay up till 2 AM really--that was just an exaggeration! LOL
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Post by jj on Sept 17, 2007 19:22:39 GMT -5
The only suggestion I have is once you tell her to do her homework and she starts to argue she needs to go immediately into time out. Ignore any arguments she tries to get you caught up in. Just be silent and sit her in a chair to face the corner just like they did in the olden days. You can explain when she is ready to do her homework she can get up but you are not going to talk to her until then. Really, I think if you do this every single time she starts to argue she will get sick of it. You may go several days without the homeword done but if you are consistant...  ? But each kid is different and this may totally bomb and no doubt you have given this a try. Sorry, wish I had some better advise. |
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Post by jill on Sept 17, 2007 19:29:16 GMT -5
I forgot to add she will not do it independently we have to sit next to her to keep her going. She is in 3rd grade.  I do not condone spanks but understand them this coming from the child welfare worker. |
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Post by misty on Sept 17, 2007 19:32:04 GMT -5
I have never spanked my daughter. She can be difficult at times but I find that with much perseverance, some creativity, a dose of humor & a lot of gritting of my teeth, I can find a way to get through almost anything she dishes out (So far..LOL).
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Post by jill on Sept 17, 2007 19:44:44 GMT -5
I do not spank her just think about it when things get heated I walk away. At work I teach better ways of coping as needed and actually most of the cases we deal with are parents (moms) addicted to drugs or some other chemical causing them to neglect very few corporol punishment cases. My title is Preventative worker for DSS. We do lots more but that is it in a nutshell we try to re-unite families if at all possible.
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Post by jill on Sept 17, 2007 19:47:54 GMT -5
oh thanks for the responses so far.
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Post by charliegirl on Sept 17, 2007 22:37:55 GMT -5
When my son was that age I had to sit with him and walk him through homework. He would also throw fits to get out of it. A good part of it was the ADHD. He wasn't "getting it". I think they reach a point where they are so frustrated and convinced they are stupid that they are afraid to try and the least little thing will set them off.
I wish I knew what to tell you. The omegas helped but they didn't completely cure it. This year he is in 7th and has study halls. So far he is getting it done in school but I know its going to get heavier and he will be bringing some home. I'm bracing myself for more of the same.
I've had people with older kids tell me they improve somewhere between 14 and 16 so I'm clinging to that. It seems like a long way off though.
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Post by lillian on Sept 19, 2007 22:38:24 GMT -5
Whew! This thread brings back bad memories  . We went through homework battles until sixth grade. My son is now in eighth and readily does his homework, though I still check it to make sure he's done it correctly, he's following the directions, and he's completing all of it and not skipping the writing  . What made the major difference in 6th was an IEP, but your daughter already has one. How is homework being addressed in the IEP? My son's major issue was an LD, so addressing the LD struggles made all the difference. |
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I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
