Getting mentally prepared...

[katiekat]

for the week ahead. Last week was a horrible one. Summer rec is over and Sean was home all week. I think I came very near to losing it. His behavior was just awful. He is really pushing me (and my husband) further and further. He is so mouthy and disrespectful and when you try and speak to him about he will laugh in your face. He is also taking the "poor me" attitude way too far. I cannot understand this. He is always sulking around and acting like is is underpriveleged. I had a bag sitting on the steps for me to take upstairs and when he sees it he says "what's in the bag, stuff for you and daddy and Joe? Just stuff for you 3 and nothing for me?" I was so tired of the pity act at that point I said yes. Funny thing was everything in that bag was for Sean. It was all his school supplies for Sept. He also said to me "I saw pudding in the fridge, is that just for you and dad and Joe?" I don't know why he is always saying these things as there is nothing ever in this house that is for everyone but him. It is driving me insane. He talks back, argues, throws tantrums and then God forbid you discipline him. I am so discouraged (again) b/c things are really bad(again). I am seeing that we have not accomplished much at all. With how violent he is with his sister it is showing me that we didnt "fix" that problem it is just because we have him in such a controlled environment that he doesnt get the opportunity much. I am hoping that this week will be a better one.

[charliegirl]

[mary2]

KK, I hope things improve for you with Sean; these days I definitely can relate ;it has been terrible since we got my son out of meds. I don't know if it was like this before when he wasn't diagnosed, maybe I just don't remember. Saturday was a lot better for me but yesterday it was a total nightmare. I enrolled dd in a vacation plan that goes up only to the end of this week and that is a great help because I can't handle both at the same time since Marcel's impulsiveness has gone to extremes. I thought about getting him into a vacation plan also but the first inconvenient is that I don't know whether he will behave accordingly and the other one is that he does not want to go anywhere. Marcel is also being disrespectful, behaves like a clown, and cries like a baby to show he is a victim; finds every excuse to say that his sister has more privileges and has made her miserable all these days; if I go to take a shower or to the bathroom, there is always an incident. I have thought a thousand times about giving him the med before agreed with the Dr, bu I try to be strong and keep on with it, yesterday I almost gave up but my husband stopped me from giving him the med. So, I also have to get mentally prepared for every week, though my weekends are worse because I have both of them here and my husband comes home and the little control I had achieved goes to the trash. It is like having three kids here...

Sorry I kind of stole your thread, but I am with you; so HUGS!!

[katiekat]

Boy I barely had a minute to breathe before he started right where he left off. His first words to me were an argument, yelling at me again when I told him it would be about 20 minutes before lunchtime. Because I AM HUNGRY NOW!!!!! Along with throwing himself on the floor, the whole bit. AARRGGHH.

[bugsmom]

Oh, KK...hugs to you.

I'm just thinking off the top of my head here, but what Sean is saying about everything for you, hubby, and Joe, does not sound like that came off the top of his head. To me, it sounds like that is being fed to him somewhere else, aka...Bio Mom! I have a feeling she's feeding into that and Sean probably makes up stories too, in agreement.

When I think about that little guy spending every weekend with her, I can just imagine her "un-doing" all the work you do with Sean. I'm sure its a circus over there. He probably doesn't know which way is up. With his issues, it still burns me up that that judge didn't take into account how this situation would not be the best for Sean.

I wish I had some advice for you. Hugs to you...I pray your week isn't too bad. Just keep thinking..."I'm going on vacation, I'm going on vacation soon!"

[katiekat]

This one I don't think I can blame on her...he does the same thing to her at her house. He also lies to her about things over here and lies to us about things at her house. He will tell anyone who will listen about how he is so mistreated by everyone.
She took him to an appt. over the weekend at his old therapist. She made it b/c she was concerned about how violent he is toward his sister. She mentioned this behavior also to the therapist and the therapist said that basically he lies to get attention. If people are feeling sorry for him that is attention. She talked to Sean about it but did not have any suggestions about how to handle it.(basically why I no longer take him there)
She didnt have any solution for the violence either.
I talked to Sean's mother yesterday about all this and she told me she has been taking him to Karate on Sat. for about a month now. I think this could be a factor. And she did say he has been karate kicking his sister and that if he does it one more time she will have to take him out of the Karate. I think that karate is great for some kids but unfortunately with him I think it is encouraging violence.

[jmb3]

Please bring this up to his Karate instructor that he is using his sister as target. As a martial arts instructor, we do stress that this is not allowed. We stress not using family members and friends as practice as injuryies can happen in an unsupervised environment. Perhaps, the instructor, can instill that this in inappropriate behavoir to your child.

Provide a spot where your child can release his energy. Perhaps, tie a string to a tennis ball and hang in a spot where nothing can can hurt when it swings. He can practice his accuracy on this. both kicks and punches.

Good luck..

jmb2

[misty]

Good idea! I was thinking how about a punching bag & boxing gloves? You could set it up in the basement & have him go there to relieve stress instead of hitting people & yelling. It'll tire him out too. You could make the rule that he ONLY hits the bag & he must be wearing the gloves. Worth a shot.

[mary2]

Aug 12, 2008 21:37:19 GMT -5 misty said:

Good idea! I was thinking how about a punching bag & boxing gloves? You could set it up in the basement & have him go there to relieve stress instead of hitting people & yelling. It'll tire him out too. You could make the rule that he ONLY hits the bag & he must be wearing the gloves. Worth a shot.

Marcel's karate teacher has suggested that idea many times; it really seems to be an excellent one.

[katiekat]

I do know that the instructor has told the kids to NEVER use the things they learn outside of class.
I will tell her about the tennis ball idea...the violence is never an issue at home, only over there. I guess because there is no one smaller to beat on here.
Sean used to have a kids size punching bag and gloves but for some reason he stabbed a stick in it about 50 times until all the stuffing came out and it had to be trashed. He ripped all the stuffing out of the gloves too.
I didnt even know about the Karate.He asked me to sign him up several times but always ended the request with someting like "so I can hurt people." When I told him that was not the point of Karate he insisted it was and told me flat out that was his intention. So I held off with it thinking he needed a bit more maturity so he could understand. But I guess that is out of my hands.