Post by anon4now on Sept 15, 2008 7:31:04 GMT -5
The hospital my son was at had used this check system. It worked well for him, and we brought it home with us and it's going well at home too. It's taken us about 2 weeks to get used to it, but I like it so I thought I would share it with you all. (PS if you want a spreadsheet, let me know and I can email to you.)
First - pick 2-3 behaviors you want to "modify"
Choose your time frame. The hospital did every half hour, we do ever hour. (so for this post, I'll say every hour).
Then every hour your child is successful with the behavior, s/he gets a CHECK. So s/he can earn 3 checks an hour.
If they aren't successful, the consequence is no check.
*This worked great for me the other day. My DH told DS no shower unless someone was awake. The next morning, DS took a shower before waking me. So instead of yelling at him and trying to drill the rule into his head. I took the "follow directions" check away from him. And wrote in the comments, took shower against dad's rule. LATER - when he saw it, he looked at me and said "Ohhhh" and that was it. That was 3 days ago, and he hasn't taken a shower before waking me yet.*
OK. So what are the checks for? Well, for choices. Here's where I think this system works the best. There are good choices, and poor choices. That's right. S/He can actually spend the checks on poor choices if they want. So this is where you can put things like Lieing. Being Disrespectful. Damaging Property. And then you get to choose what good choices. Computer time/Game time/TV time. Outdoor play. Board Game. Reading. Listen to music. etc. Then you judge how much each cost.
*For us, I put Reading and Puzzle at 1 check. This way if he is low on checks, he still gets to "use" a check. Using a check is not a way for a kid to get a priviledge. It's a way for a kid to confidently ask for a priviledge and feel good about earning the priviledge. So of course my son can read a book whenever he wants. But this way he can ask without fear (because he has the checks to back him up) and he gets to feel that good feeling. We also said Computer time can only be used once a day.
Really, that's it to the contract. I've tweaked a few things, like points expire after 24 hours. Then we put them in a pool and at the end of the week, he gets $0.05 each check for allowance. I also have weekend activities he can choose like stay up late to use his telescope, visit with a grandparent, and family outing of his choice (ie: Minigolf, bowling, rollerskating etc) He's also asked to add PlayStation to the list and we said not yet. So we'll change things as we go. His three behaviors are "Stay Safe" "Clean/Hygiene" and "Work/Chores/Activities" which means whatever activity he is doing, he needs to do it "well." So if he's got a chore to do, he can't stomp around and throw things and pout and make a fuss. If he's playing a board game, he can't cheat or over react to losing. If he's playing on his bike, he can't go beyond his boundaries. That type of thing. We can give him instructions (ie: You missed under the computer when you were cleaning) and as long as he handles the instruction well, he still earns the check.
It's all about success. Every day, my son has had over 30 checks after he's used some on good choices. He's made some poor choices, but we haven't had many fights with him about them. The other thing about the contract (which was something I messed up on at first) is don't discuss it with your child ever hour. Just quietly pick up the notebook, make your marks for the hour and put it back. Your child can go in at any time to see how many checks they have, and can view your comments on either good choices, or poor choices. If they want to discuss something, great! But the checks are not up for negotiation. And if they have a problem where they are over reacting to a poor choice use, then add that to the poor choices.
Any questions let me know. And if you want a copy of my spreadsheet I use (it's still a work in progress, but I think it will be ready by Wednesday) email me a request at bpchild7@gmail.com
Anon
First - pick 2-3 behaviors you want to "modify"
Choose your time frame. The hospital did every half hour, we do ever hour. (so for this post, I'll say every hour).
Then every hour your child is successful with the behavior, s/he gets a CHECK. So s/he can earn 3 checks an hour.
If they aren't successful, the consequence is no check.
*This worked great for me the other day. My DH told DS no shower unless someone was awake. The next morning, DS took a shower before waking me. So instead of yelling at him and trying to drill the rule into his head. I took the "follow directions" check away from him. And wrote in the comments, took shower against dad's rule. LATER - when he saw it, he looked at me and said "Ohhhh" and that was it. That was 3 days ago, and he hasn't taken a shower before waking me yet.*
OK. So what are the checks for? Well, for choices. Here's where I think this system works the best. There are good choices, and poor choices. That's right. S/He can actually spend the checks on poor choices if they want. So this is where you can put things like Lieing. Being Disrespectful. Damaging Property. And then you get to choose what good choices. Computer time/Game time/TV time. Outdoor play. Board Game. Reading. Listen to music. etc. Then you judge how much each cost.
*For us, I put Reading and Puzzle at 1 check. This way if he is low on checks, he still gets to "use" a check. Using a check is not a way for a kid to get a priviledge. It's a way for a kid to confidently ask for a priviledge and feel good about earning the priviledge. So of course my son can read a book whenever he wants. But this way he can ask without fear (because he has the checks to back him up) and he gets to feel that good feeling. We also said Computer time can only be used once a day.
Really, that's it to the contract. I've tweaked a few things, like points expire after 24 hours. Then we put them in a pool and at the end of the week, he gets $0.05 each check for allowance. I also have weekend activities he can choose like stay up late to use his telescope, visit with a grandparent, and family outing of his choice (ie: Minigolf, bowling, rollerskating etc) He's also asked to add PlayStation to the list and we said not yet. So we'll change things as we go. His three behaviors are "Stay Safe" "Clean/Hygiene" and "Work/Chores/Activities" which means whatever activity he is doing, he needs to do it "well." So if he's got a chore to do, he can't stomp around and throw things and pout and make a fuss. If he's playing a board game, he can't cheat or over react to losing. If he's playing on his bike, he can't go beyond his boundaries. That type of thing. We can give him instructions (ie: You missed under the computer when you were cleaning) and as long as he handles the instruction well, he still earns the check.
It's all about success. Every day, my son has had over 30 checks after he's used some on good choices. He's made some poor choices, but we haven't had many fights with him about them. The other thing about the contract (which was something I messed up on at first) is don't discuss it with your child ever hour. Just quietly pick up the notebook, make your marks for the hour and put it back. Your child can go in at any time to see how many checks they have, and can view your comments on either good choices, or poor choices. If they want to discuss something, great! But the checks are not up for negotiation. And if they have a problem where they are over reacting to a poor choice use, then add that to the poor choices.
Any questions let me know. And if you want a copy of my spreadsheet I use (it's still a work in progress, but I think it will be ready by Wednesday) email me a request at bpchild7@gmail.com
Anon
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
