Annette's IEP fiasco meeting

[jill]

We invited to the meeting her OT Specialist that we private pay. They cut her down to consult when she does need more so he came along to voice his professional opinion. Well the OT person for the school over a year ago I gave her his name and number so they can coordinate services as a team and shared with her a suggestion our guy told us. She in turn called him up real sarcastically and began yelling at him how dare he give us suggestions and flaked out on him and he told her lady I am private pay I am doing what I am paid for and i do not have to talk to you. now you got the history.

At the meeting you can see clearly she did not like him there and as the meeting progressed and everybody did their thing our guy Mr. Alterio (his name) spoke up and did his thing and commented on how many of the concerns are on OT issues but OT is not being offered and how they are doing the PT thing more when OT is more important. He suggested PT 1x per week versus 2 and add an OT day. Well the school one said the consult works and got a little huffy and sniped at our guy which he then was polite and told her off in a nice way. He never said she was not doing her job and was very polite and did snipe back after awhile for she got hostile towards him. The Chairperson and all else in the room all our faces were in shock she was totally out of line and was defensive. He only offered an opinion and shared his work he is doing with Annette. Then when she directed something at me for they were not doing eye contact with one another I felt so awkward and on the spot. He really advocated for my girl and the more he got what he wanted for her the more mad the school one got the friction in the room kept growing. End result my girl is getting the service she needs and I did say to all there that our guy is part of the team and has worked wonders for Annette. The Chairperson stated how much progress my girl made and I added due to the extra we are doing with our guy.

I am considering calling the CSE Monday to apologize for the friction that occurred and the others present and the witch too to calm her down. I think she feels threatened by our guy why she lashes out at him. Part of me feels I do not need to and the other part wants to make peace. My OT person however was nothing but polite and did nothing wrong even when he was under attack.

[misty]

I wouldn't call & apologize. You did nothing to apologize for.I think apologizing will just reinforce in their minds that they were right & make you look like you feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty for. I think the school should be calling your guy & apologizing to him for the shabby treatment they gave him.

[jill]

It was only the school OT person that was rude and nuts the rest were fine talking to him. I just want peace and feel so awkward since.

[misty]

Yes, but why should you be apologizing when none of it was your fault?

[bugsmom]

I don't think you need to apologize to anyone either. The OT for the school district looks foolish and obviously feels threatened by your private OT. I'm sure everyone there knows that she was out of line.

If anything, I'd e-mail the OT for the district and let her know how rude she was to another professional that is just trying to help your daughter. That is just un-called for.

[charliegirl]

I'm glad you got Annette the services she needs. I wouldn't apologize. The fact that they still agreed to the things your OT suggested indicates that they know exactly where the friction was coming from and it wasn't him.

If you didn't record this meeting, I suggest you start recording future ones. If she knows she is being recorded she may tone down the hostility and if she doesn't, you will have proof of the hostility you face in meetings she is at. You may need that at some point in the future.

[jill]

So true. I am just surprised she did it in front of the CSE Chairperson and I wonder if he will say anything to her or do anything? I know the teachers were quiet and did not know what to make of it it is like everyone tried to stay out of it and when the school OT addressed me that I can call her anytime I felt so awkward. I never called her for I am upset she called our guy and treated him poorly the first time plus she was not providing my girl any service so why should I call her. Well one thing for sure I will invite my private OT person next year for it is my right and he is knowledgeable and helpful to my little girl.

[jj]

I agree with everyone. Do not apologize. You did nothing wrong, your guy did nothing wrong.


That OT person owes everyone else that was in that room a huge apology!! I hope she is reprimanded.

[jill]

I did not apologize and did get a call from Annette's special education teacher and I mentioned the awkwardness to her from the meeting to see what she would say. She loved our Specialist and felt his ideas were helpful to her and shared her teacher also was glad he came. As for recording it is an idea for next year but for this year there was a room full of witnesses.