|
|
Post by elizam on Feb 20, 2007 10:38:58 GMT -5
Hi, I'm new!
Teacher's have told us that ds should be evaluated, but dh isn't willing. Ds is in 8th grade and doing worse and worse, with a few good days every now and then. They say he seems very intelligent and capable...if he could just focus on anything! Also, he's a messy and he loses stuff constantly (if he doesn't forget it altogether)
It's a daily struggle not just for ds, but for me. I happen to care so much it hurts. Some people seem to blame this on the fact that we homeschooled him from 2-6th grade, and that he just doesn't "get" how school works. I don't know. If any teachers think that, they don't tell me to my face. They just say he should be evaluated.
I used to be totally skeptical of ADD/ADHD, but I've been doing the reading and it makes sense. Even still, I doubt myself with a few people telling me it's "just adolescence, just bad behaviior, just lack of motivation, etc."
I do see ds and more and more defiant and unmotivated, but he is only defiant at home, and he is often depressed about his grades and feeling uncared for by teachers and peers.
|
|
|
|
Post by jj on Feb 20, 2007 11:22:15 GMT -5
Elizam, Welcome! I think if you weren't a good Mom you wouldn't question things. I know before I started researching ADHD, I'm ashamed to say, I thought it was just bad parenting. I was SO WRONG. And if any doubts come to mind all I need to do is look at my sister. She has a son who doesn't have ADHD and a daughter who does. They are like night and day both raised with the same discipline by the same parents but yet my sister struggles with her daughter.
It makes things especially hard when both parents aren't on the same page but if you do the research and share with your husband you may both come to a mutual agreement regarding your son.
I can't tell you what is the right thing to do but I do know the sooner an ADHD child gets the help to succeed the better their life will be as an adult.
It's great to have you join our group and I hope we can be the support you need.
|
|
|
|
Post by jfla on Feb 20, 2007 12:04:35 GMT -5
Welcome Elizam!
This is a great place to find a lot of information and support. If both of you are struggling so much, it is probably good advice to have an evaluation done. The more I read about Adhd, the more I thought, "This sounds like my son." You might feel better having an evaluation than having haunting questions at the back or front of your mind. As adhders get higher by grade the difficulty increases. Teachers generally do not suggest an evaluation unless they have strong reason to do so. It is frequently difficult to get schools to even evaluate kids due to tight budgets. An evaluation will provide some answers to your questions.
|
|
|
|
Post by misty on Feb 20, 2007 13:51:14 GMT -5
elizam, after replying to your post in another section, I was thinking about your situation. I'm wondering if you could talk your husband into letting him be evaluated privately (by a private psychiatrist or neuropsych) instead of through the school. If you get it done privately, you'll know what the diagnosis is & can decide if you want to try any treatments without labeling him at the school. Of course, once you know whats going on then you can discuss whether it would be in his benefit for the school to know. Just a thought...if you can get dh to go for it, at least you can find out for sure if its ADHD or not.
|
|
|
|
Post by charliegirl on Feb 20, 2007 18:14:59 GMT -5
 I haven't read the post Misty was referring to so I'll wait to respond to your concerns until I've read it. I do want you to be assured that whether you have him evaluated or not, you are welcome here and we will offer all the support and encouragement we can. There are things that you can do which may help even without an evaluation. |
|
|
|
Post by lcdc1 on Feb 20, 2007 19:03:25 GMT -5
Hey elizam welcome to the board. I am glad you are trying to figure it out for your son, things only seem to get worse if you don't look into them and either confirm or disprove that he has adhd or something else going on. He only has a little while in school left and high school is hard enough without any thing going on. Get him some support now, it is harder to deal with when you are an adult!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by lostmyshoe on Feb 20, 2007 19:43:03 GMT -5
Hey Elizam and welcome to the board. It does sound to me like getting a diagnosis is a good thing to do. I didn't go through the school when I got my daughter diagnosed. A teacher mentioned to me that he saw focus problems with my daughter and I decided to get all the diagnosing done myself. I checked with my insurance company and found a psychologist that tested for ADD/ADHD. He gave my daughter all the testing and also sent us to an Audiologist. After she was formally diagnosed he went to the school with me with all of the documentation and we all sat down and discussed Beccas needs. A 504 plan was written specifially for Becca and it really has helped a great deal. I have ADD myself and we do have our good days and our bad days. I was so glad when someone referred me to this website. Everyone here has been great. I am so glad you are here and you will get lots of advice and support here. WELCOME! Dee
|
|
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
