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Post by jill on Sept 5, 2009 15:34:00 GMT -5
I have now just started to give her some freedom and it sucks! Nette decided she finally wanted to ride her bike great even wanted the training wheels off and practiced until now she is a pro. Now she wants to ride down to her school down the street and back fine but it is whens he does not come back to check in with me the problem. I am in a constant state of panic for the kids in area treat her like a leaper, freak and she is overly friendly. I worry and stress they are going to tease, hurt, or do something to her I need advice how to handle this. I have tried to instill good choices for her and pray she is okay and makes good choices. She also still does not get it when to stop talking or following someone and walk away at times. She will be 10 in November.
This week she scared me bad she did not come home and there was a emergency drill going on down the street and they blocked the street off and volunteer firemen were everywhere I went looking for Nette and could not find her I panicked. I walked home got my van and circled the neighborhood Nothing. I finally went to the one fireman on the corner and asked if he seen her in which he replied "oh that kid I told her to go around and behind the school parking lot" I laid into him for she is not as familiar with doing a lot in the area (my fault) and how dare he tell where to go when it can be unsafe. I got there looked did not see her my hubby showed up and saw her when she came to me she was shaking and crying about the fireman and that she asked for help and he yelled at her and how some bigger kids were terrorizing her. I then went back to the dude and tore into him again for she was asking for help. Now since that incident we are going to get her a cell phone for checking in. I felt like the worse mother in the world that day.
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Post by puzzled on Sept 5, 2009 17:54:05 GMT -5
That is scary jill! That is sad that she went to an authority figure for help and did not get it. They do make those cell phones that are only for children, and will only call certain numbers....
Have you asked her therapist's advice about annette's issues with reading social cues?
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Post by misty on Sept 5, 2009 20:27:22 GMT -5
You were right to tear into that fireman. I know how scared you were. Shannon was round that same age when she disappeared one day. She turned out to be inside my cousins house which was basically across the street from us at that time, but she did not tell me & I was frantic. I think a cell phone is a great idea. Look online for child friendly ones. Like puzzled said. they do make ones that are just for kids & have heavy parental controls on them.
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Post by katiekat on Sept 5, 2009 23:58:24 GMT -5
I have the same issue here. Little by little I have been letting Sean do more. I started out with him being in the backyard for 15 minutes and as I saw that he could follow the rules I allowed him more freedom. Next he was allowed out front for short periods, then he was allowed to ride his bike up and down the sidewalk from corner to corner. So far so good-we have only had one incident where he went into someones house without me knowing where he was. That set him back some as far as privleges but as long as he can show he can be trusted not to do anything dangerous he is allowed to do a lot more than he ever has.
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Post by jill on Sept 6, 2009 10:05:46 GMT -5
what else ticked me off about that fireman was he would not let her down our street and when she was going to cross the street to come home he would not let her do that either and it was for a drill.
She is doing a little better but does forget to come home and as for the kids they do not really like her they feel she is a freak and she would still stay by them just for some kind of association that bothers me. As for her psychologist I can ask him and she is supposed to meet with the school social worker 1x per week school just began I can call her and let her know. I being a Social worker too have been working with her best I can but I am mom. Being a parent is not easy and yes i am still freaking out every time she goes outside.
Now for the laugh she wiped out on her bike and suffered some bruising (not funny) but the why is funny she claimed a squirrel was chasing her and got spooked. My kid is afraid of squirrel's!
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Post by charliegirl on Sept 6, 2009 13:20:12 GMT -5
When I started letting my son go places on his own he was about 8. I gave him a walkie talkie and he had to call me if he went anywhere other then where I knew he was to be. I also would call him once in a while to verify he was ok. If he didn't call or answer when I called him, he lost the privilege of going on his own for a while. After a short time all the kids in the neighborhood had them and I ended up sending the cell phone with him. Same rules. Peace of mind. Funny about the squirrel. My daughter always freaks out when she sees a toad. With 3 boys, I hope she gets over it at least a little or she will be a nervous wreck when they are bigger.  |
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Post by jj on Sept 7, 2009 0:57:02 GMT -5
All I can tell you is I feel for you and I don't blame you for being upset with that fireman.
Funny about the squirrel but not funny when you are terrified something bad is going to happen to your daughter. The phone is a great idea but it will need to be attached to her somehow or it will be lost in no time.
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Post by jill on Sept 7, 2009 13:58:21 GMT -5
We got her a Pre-Pay trac Phone for a starter phone. The phone cost
$10 and the minutes $30 and she now has 2 1/2 hours of time and we got her a case for it so it can attach on her hip. We told her what it is for and not to give her number out if she wants to chit chat with a friend to use my number since I have un-limited. Today she has called me 2x to check in and it is a peace of mind. Her dad just took her to the park for a while.
Now we are working on the fear of squirrel's. Thanks it is nice to find people who understand that sending a child out to play is hard and even harder when the child has a disability.
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Post by katiekat on Sept 7, 2009 23:02:43 GMT -5
It is hard Jill. We are going to let Sean walk home from school now starting tomorrow. It is very, very close-I can see the school from my corner but still.... We went over the rules 1000 times, there are safeties where he has to cross but I am still stressing. Now that he is in 3rd grade all the other kids walk to and from school, most did it last year actually. He wanted to walk to school also but I had to say no to that. If he doesnt come home I will know right away but if he didnt get to school it would be some time before I found out, so this is our compromise. It's not so simple.
I am glad the cell phone is working out for Annette!
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Post by bugsmom on Sept 8, 2009 22:30:31 GMT -5
Jill, I'm so glad you got Annette the cell phone. It will give you and her so much more piece of mind.
I was one of those parents that said I'd never get my kid a cell phone until they can pay for the bill themselves, but I had a few situations like yours too. I kept on lending Josh my phone and I never had it myself, so I knew then it was time. He was 11 and half at that time. It's been such a great tool for us. I can't imagine him not having one now.
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I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
