Teaching Independence

[katiekat]

One thing Sean's teacher mentioned at our conference was that Sean needs to become more independent. He needs to start becoming responsible for himself. He doesnt do anything on his own without being told. In school it's things like putting his homework in his folder, turning homework in, putting his coat on, getting his lunchbox etc. This is true at home as well. He must be told to brush his teeth in the morning and at night, get in the shower, get OUT of the shower, pretty much every step of the day he must be prompted. His teacher said one of his goals is to learn to do things on his own without constant reminders.
I am wondering how to do this at home. Any suggestions?
P.S. We cant do charts as they become an obsession and cause more problems than we started out with LOL.

[anon4now]

I have a few signs around my house; ie: BRING EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKET UP TO YOUR ROOM! and it's a cute sign with a bunch of laundry baskets all over it. And this year in school he has a daily planner that is supposed to be signed by teacher and parent (though this is not getting done and I'm p'd off about that, but whatever. Choose my battles)

I think at his age, you can veer away from "charts" and move on to "check off lists." No rewards - just a daily to-do list for different parts of his day. Then mom/teacher can check in once or twice a day, rather than at every juncture. "Lets check to see if your list is done." or even a "You have 15 minutes to finish up any un-checked items on your list"

This has also helped us with the homework drama. He has a check off list that starts with - Eat Snack, Start Homework at 3:30. Put work away at 4:15. Chores until 4:45 etc etc. The point of our list though was - you have to do it with effort during that time period. If it's not done, then oh well. (and not a negative oh well. Just a "I'm done with this task" oh well. Because he was spending 4 hours on homework otherwise)

GL
A4N

[jmb2]

I know this might sound like some work, but choose 3 to start with.

Then on One sheet use pictures/brief decription to describe the steps involved. Let the child draw/cut them them listing them 1, 2... . Then when he needs to do that particular thing, he can have his "sheet" with instructions to complete the task. Adjust as needed. Hopefully, this will help him remember what to do to complete tasks.

Then use another sheet for another task.

Some kids do better with words, others, pictures.

[misty]

We used a dry erase board for several years. When Shannon needed to do things without constant reminders, I'd list the steps on a dry erase board & she's erase each step as she completed it. It took awhile, but eventually things became habit & she no longer needed to carry the board everywhere with her.

[jill]

I have nothing to offer Nette does the same and it has become part of my habit to constantly tell her and her father (LoL) what to do to keep things going smoothly.