Cafeteria Problems

[mom23boyz]

Hello all! I haven't posted in a while, but I am having an issue with my son's school and am hoping to get some ideas here. Background- my son is 9 and is in 4th grade. He is diagnosed with ADHD combined, anxiety, and ODD. He is taking Strattera, Concerta, Clonidine, and Atarax as needed for the anxiety.

This year at school the children go out and play before eating. I have never heard of this before, and it makes it difficult for him to settle down and eat his lunch or not goof around with others in the cafeteria. They have recess for 15-20 minutes and then have 15 minutes to eat. Well he is the one who gets in trouble, like yesterday some kids said he drank out of another child's soda. He swears he didnt and told them to even watch the video from the cameras to prove his innocence, but due to previous issues he is found guilty without proving it and removed from the cafeteria. This then sometimes causes anger, frustration, and sometimes meltdowns because it is not always his fault.

He has asked that he be able to eat with one of his teachers in the classroom for the 15 minutes they get, instead of eating in the cafeteria to avoid problems. The school and teacher say "NO, this is the teacher's lunch hour and she doesn't get paid to sit with you." This is totally appalling to me, as I am going to school to be a teacher and would be happy to share my lunch with a student to help him/her. They said he can either eat in the in-school suspension room or the office. These are both places used for punishment for him, and so he does not want to eat his lunch there. Any ideas would be great!!! I am so about ready to pull him out and homeschool him. They are even trying to exlude him from a field trip to the zoo tomorrow because I am not able to go and chaperone this time. I am battling this out right now. Please help!!

[charliegirl]

I find it interesting that he has asked to be allowed to eat where there are no distractions.

Does he have an IEP? With everything going on with him, he should have one and you could address the meal problems in that once you figure out what would be best.

Is there another class that takes lunch while his is eating? Maybe he could eat and take that play time with them. It sounds like he may be getting bullied at lunch and that would also hopefully address that as well.

[mom23boyz]

Yes he does have an IEP, but this is the first time we are having problems with this. The 5th and 4th grade eat at the same time, and yest some 5th and 4th graders had been bullying him and antagonizing him to do silly stuff which he then got in trouble for. He says he can't settle down after being outside and it is very loud which doesnt help.

He is asking for help but their solutions are to put him in punitive rooms, which I find absurd. While they are outside the 2nd and 3rd grade eat then they switch, but he would be embarrassed to eat and play with the younger kids. He wants to go to recess with his friends, and doesn't have problems there. It is just the cafeteria.

[jj]

Gosh, I would think there would be a library or study hall that he could maybe go eat his lunch.

In all honestly, I can't really blame the teacher for not wanting her break used to supervise a child. She may actually REALLY need the break, need to run things by other teachers, de-stress, etc.

I wish I could come up with some great idea but I'm drawing a blank here.

Nice to see you popped in though, Mom23boyz.

Fifteen minutes to eat? How can they eat in that time? Talk about jamming food down your throat.

[charliegirl]

Would the teacher be willing to arrange for him to sit with the quiet kids? There are always a couple of kids who are shy or just quiet and well behaved. If he could sit with them, it might be easier for him to pay attention to eating.

[jill]

Don't they have cafeteria monitors? Most school's do. As for the field trip not cool either by excluding him can set up for other kids to target your son.