The losing of everything must stop...

[katiekat]

Sean has an annoying and expensive problem with losing EVERYTHING. He "forgets" things and then they are never to be seen again. I have grown tired and broke from replacing them. During the school year (every year) he loses coats, sweatshirts, books, homework, lunchboxes, gloves, hats, everything you can think of. Just this past year alone I had to replace his jacket 3 times and his lunchbox twice. Now he is going to day camp for the month and it is getting ridiculous. There are things that he is required to bring every day and he is losing them all. So far his change of clothes, a bathing suit, beach towel, and sunscreen. While we were away he took advantage of the situation and took things to his mothers which he knows he is not allowed to do because anything left there gets destroyed or lost forever. I just found out he broke the watch I bought him 2 weeks ago and left the replacement his grandparents got him at his moms. Even worse he took a book I got him from the library there and it is nowhere to be found. The amazing thing is he will NEVER forget something that is important to him ie: His video game. We have tried everything I can think of-I just told him today I am done with replacing anything he loses. Other than that I have no idea what to do because so far nothing(yelling, punishment, rewards, taking collateral) has worked.

[charliegirl]

I think refusing to replace things he loses is a good idea. He has to understand the consequences of his actions and not having something because he didn't take care of it is a very real consequence.

Get a crappy looking coat from a used clothing store and when he loses his winter coat, bring that out. He lost a library book? no more library books.

I totally agree with you. He has to learn and if he can remember his games, then he can learn to remember the other things.

[bugsmom]

I agree with everything CG said.

But I have to say, with Sean's history, he'll go tell everyone you don't provide for him. Isn't that what he's done before, even when it wasn't true?

Oh, KK....my heart goes out to you. I know you've reached the end of your rope many times over this. Hang in there Mama!!!

[jj]

Maybe you need to stick a phone number on all his clothes, jackets and everything he tends to lose. Maybe some honest person will actually return the items.

[katiekat]

Thanks Bugs and yes,that is exactly why I have been thinking of doing this for a long time but have not yet gone through with it. I think I'm going to have to just not worry about what people might potentially think and follow through. Fortunately the school is aware of history of making false accusations against us. I am just going to have to do it-I see no other way, I cant keep replacing all this stuff. I also will be buying things like coats,boots,hats etc at someplace like Walmart instead of where I would usually shop. I understand everyone misplaces things but this is ridiculous.
And CG I LOVE your idea about the crappy coat, buying something like that (since there is no way I can send him with no coat in the winter) and showing him ahead of time may help.

[misty]

Another thing you can do is make him buy the replacements. Even if he has to lose half his allowance for 6 months to replace 1 item, maybe if its something he had to buy himself, he'll keep better track of it. Everyone else's ideas were great by the way. Good luck!

[aimee8305]

I think they are all great ideas...and believe me...Im taking notes becuase Dakota already does this and it drives me nuts!

[katiekat]

JJ-I do put his name on everything I can but most stuff never finds its way home
Misty-He is already in the hole for a lot of money with us, especially after the recent breaking of the window. He will be doing chores for free until he is 21 at this point lol.