New to the group and completely lost

[dancer38]

Well I am new to the board. I have a son who is 13 yrs old and has been diagnosed with ADHD since the third grade as well LD and now has developed an anxiety disorder over the past year. To say we have our hands full is an understatement.

We just had his psychologically tested and the results were disturbing. He is showing traits of antisocial personality disorder although I am questioning some of this because my son does show remorse, cares for others and can experience guilt. I am very lost right now because we just don't know which direction to go in. They also say he is ODD which we suspected last year but every since he started taking meds for his anxiety these symptoms have diminished tremendously. Bi-polar was something else they were looking into but they psychologist says he doesn't see it. Waiting to talk to his psychiatrist on Wednesday.

In any case this is taking a toll on our family and I feel completely helpless at the moment.

[jj]

Hi Dancer38,

I'm happy you found us. I think most of the members here do understand how overwhelming this all can be and how hard it is on the family.

I think the key is to get the right dx and it isn't always easy. Don't dismiss your thoughts that the anti-social tendancies dx/possibility is wrong. You know your son better than anyone.

I hope you post back how the visit with the psychologist went. My heart goes out to you.

[charliegirl]

Welcome Dancer!

Let us know what you find out today. Sometimes we ADHDers and those of us with anxiety can seem anti-social.

I know there are times when I don't react appropriately but its because I'm a bit zoned out, not because I don't care. Its hard to explain but its like I'm tuned into one wavelength and everyone else is tuned into a different one. It clicks later. Sometimes much later and I feel like an idiot for not responding to the other person's needs when they needed me to.

Watch him and see if he continues to react appropriately most of the time. As long as his reactions are spontaneous, trust your instincts. If you get the impression he is acting like he cares and really doesn't most of the time, then you may want to explore the possibility further.

[dancer38]

Thank you for the warm welcome. Well I went to see his therapist and they did tell me that he was showing antisocial traits, odd and conduct disorder. I left heartbroken!

When the therapist went over details of these disorders I kept saying "that's not my son", or "OK maybe sometimes, but this doesn't seem to be the issue". So things just didn't fit. He did tell me he showed no signs of bi-polar which I was worried about because it runs in the family. Again I was devastated when I left his office.

Fast forward. We went to see his psychiatrist yesterday, she did her normal physical, talked with my son, said things look like they are working and the new ADHD drug we switched him to last week seems to be helping. Great news! Now on to the test results from the therapist. She said let me guess they told you he was defiant, had a conduct disorder and was going to end up in in prison. I was like "YES"! She told me to ignore all of that and then went on to tell me the test is not even valid. If he was 19 and tested the same way then you need to worry, but she told me that those with ADHD and anxiety test this way on psychological tests and for me not to worry.

So it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride to say the least. I am a little upset that his therapist would even perform such a test. It is almost like he just wanted me to spend another $300.00! I have lost a bit of trust in him. The bad part is my son likes him. His psychiatrist said she would discuss the results with him and explain that under his current dx that these results are not valid and help direct his therapy more toward coping skills.

So now we are looking at ways to help him with school. On top of being ADHD my son is dyslexic and has dysgraphia. So we have our work cut out for us. His school district sucks. Sorry for being so blunt but it is true. I swear if your child doesn't fit the norm they just want to find a way to get rid of them. It's working because we put our home up for sale just so we can move to a better school district.

OK going on and on. In any case thanks for the welcome.

[misty]

Hi & Welcome! Sounds like you've had a heck of a week! Even though you spent the extra $$ to take him to the psychiatrist, I think it was well worth it to hear the truth & set your mind at ease a bit. I hear you about the schools...our district sucks too. For a couple years I had my daughter in cyber school & then a branch of a local charter school opened up in our area & I enrolled her in that. She loves it & its SO much better than our district schools are.

[charliegirl]

I like his psychiatrist. She knows her stuff and I like that she is willing to work with his therapist.

Find out from his psych what should be on his IEP and call a meeting. You do have the right to call a meeting. Don't sign anything at the meeting. You have the right to decline signing or to take it home and go over it thoroughly before deciding. If there are things you disagree with, bring those up.

You have the right to take an advocate with you to the meeting also. It might be a good idea to talk to one, especially if you believe the school is going to fight you to deny him his rights.

[bugsmom]

Welcome to the group Dancer!

I also have a son that has ADHD and anxiety. While the adhd is under control very well, his anxiety is a little harder to deal with. Let me just say that you are the one who knows your son the best. I'm thrilled that your psych was so on the ball in relating to those test. Like CG said, the anxiety can really make things look worse than they really are. My son's anxiety can manifest in many different ways. But we've learned to deal with it in therapy.

I'm so happy you found us. Please come to us with any questions you may have. We're all here to lend a hand or to just listen

Once again...WELCOME!

[jill]

Welcome to the board Dancer. I am glad that nightmare is over.

So do you like to dance? My daughter Annette dances every Friday. This year she is in tap, ballet, and Jazz.