multidiagnosis in my 9 year old

[rfletcher]

Hi My name is Robin

I married my son's father 2 years ago. I have 2 boys of my own 14 and 23. My newly adopted son was 5 when I came into his life and he is now 9. It has been a whirlwind and mine and my husbands life has been turned upside down by this child who has multiple symptoms. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, mood disorder, PDD, ODD etc etc. We could not find a counselor. I am an RN with an advanced degree but not in psych!!! He was not learning anything at school, and would threaten to kill himself and us often using the word die. He had hypersexuality and inappropriate behavior often at school. Now he lies often when he does not want to get in trouble. He has been destructive to property in our neighborhood several times which he denies doing even though others witnessed him. I contemplated leaving this marriage because of this child but love him too much and understand more now about why but we are so isolated sometimes bc of his behavior. He has no friends and we are losing ours bc of this. I need to get more insight in this area as to who else is experiencing this as well. I really need some friends who will help us. Thanks to anyone who reads this and lets us know we are not alone!!!!
R

[katiekat]

Wow Robin, this is so incredibly similar to my story. I married my husband almost 7 years ago, we each had one son from previous relationships. At the time I met him my son was 9 and his 4. I could tell there were some issues with his son right away but did not know how severe they were. As time went on he diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, Bipolar, depression, and on and on. He was also diagnosed with learning disabilities. Your adopted son's behavior sounds a lot like what I have dealt with. My stepson went through a period of time in kindergarten where he was threatening suicide and saying he wanted to die. He did not sleep, was constantly in trouble in school, and took pleasure in making everyone in the house miserable. We took him to psychiatrists, counselors, neurologists, etc and finally found meds that helped. (Abilify) There is NO way he can function without meds. And even they don't make it easy. I work with children/adults with special needs, but like you have no experience with mental illness. The past 8 years have been a nightmare. Although he has been pretty stable for a long period of time over the past 2 months something has changed. We believe it is due to him getting older and that this is the beginning of adolescence (He is 12 now). He is failing several classes in school, refuses to do classwork, constantly lies, and recently threatened someone at school with physical violence, telling them he was going to "cut their ears off with a knife." He also has no friends, comes home and tells us he is being bullied, yet when I call the school it turns out he is the instigator. I have contemplated leaving my marriage MANY times because of this child, I know what you are going through. You can look at my posts from the past if you have the time because honestly I cannot even remember all that I have dealt with. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with. And welcome to the group!!!

[charliegirl]

Welcome to our little family Robin.

You do seem to be going through a similar experience as Katiekat. I'm sure she has a wealth of knowledge to share with you. We will all be here for you so feel free to vent all you want and we will help all we can. Sometimes just sharing with people who understand can help.

[misty]

Welcome Robin! Yes, you will find many friends here. Several of us have been coming here for years & virtually "watched" each other's kids grow up. It's a great haven when you need people who understand & do not judge. When I read your post I immediately thought of Katiekat as well...it's amazing how similar you seem to be. I'm so glad you found us & hope we can help as well as get to know you!

[bugsmom]

Hi Robin...I also immediately thought of KK when I read your post. I'm so glad she was here to reply and tell you her story.

I'm so happy you found our group and hope you come here to vent or ask any questions. Welcome to the group!!

[aimee8305]

Welcome Welcome Welocome!! So glad you found us!! I have gotten great advice and a wealth of input here!! They have helped me understand my son more!!! And its great to feel you can come somewhere that people understand what your going throught and that you can vent to them...