How to make our child care

[jill]

I hate the Oppositional defiancey when it comes out she is mean, nasty and spiteful and does not care. Everything we need her to do is a battle if you grab her wrist to drag her to make her listen she will strike back at you and the constant time outs and loss of privilages never end until i am drained of all energy. She will annoy on purpose and if you try to talk to her about it letting her know how others will see it and not like her she tunes me out or thinks it is funny like i am not serious. I worry she is only 8 what am I going to do as she gets older? She does have a sweet side but lately I have not seen it and apparently at school she is giving them a hard time as well. I have a theory she may need her meds increased it has been same dose for a year and she has gained 10lbs in that time and grew a over an inch. Believe it or not there are no meds for defiance however when medicated it does help control the defiance so either meds are not cutting it anymore or we are in a faze we go through every now and then. I can handle ADHD better than ODD for I just want a sweet loving child that listens.


At this point she is getting coal!

[misty]

Talk to her doctor about trying a med increase. Its worth a try.

When Shannon was 7 or 8 I kept telling her she was getting coal in her stocking, & she didn't believe me! My dad digs coal out of his yard all the time so I secretly asked for a piece & sure enough she received a huge chunk of coal that year (She still got her regular gifts though). We saved that piece of coal & put it out the next few years as a reminder for her to behave! LOL

[charliegirl]

When my son was 8 I was convinced he had ODD. He didn't and he did grow out of it so I think possibly kids go through a stage at that age.

I would talk to your dd's ped and ask his opinion since you are dealing with ODD and ADHD. She may need a med change since she gained weight.

[lostmyshoe]

I know how you feel Jill about wanting a sweet loving child that listens. I definitely wouldn't call my daughter sweet and loving at this age(13) but I'm hoping someday after the teen years it will get better. I don't think she's OD but boy she can be stubborn and unkind. She has a nice side but lately I don't see it that much. It really does break my heart sometimes. I'm hoping this stage won't last too long. I think whether they have OD or not it's a stage they all have to go through and it's rough for us parents. You know what really gets to her sometimes Jill when she is not behaving well and really annoying me is just ignoring her. It drives her crazy. She can't stand being totally ignored. It's hard to do when they get on your last nerve but boy does it work sometimes. I tell her I will not speak to her until she behaves appropriately toward me. It's amazing how her attitude changes when I give her the silent treatment and she thinks I could care less what she does or says(of course I do though).

[jj]

I do hope a med increase helps a bit or she will grow out of some of this defiance. My niece does the laughing thing and boy if that isn't irritating when your trying to get them to do something. Grrr.

I don't know what to tell you, Jill. Have you tried reverse psychology (she may be too smart to fall for that, though)? Or just totally stopping what you normally do. Like telling her to do anything. Don't tell her to get dressed. Don't tell her to come eat breakfast - just eat breakfast without her. Maybe you are in such a routine that it has become a comfort zone for her even with the arguing or defiant attitude - it still may be a comfort zone and the "expected" for her.

I know this sounds weird but desperate situations sometimes calls for desperate measures?

[jill]

She does have Oppositional Defiance and I will talk to her psychologist come Dec.4. I am planning to call him next week regarding his opinion on should we up the meds or not then I can have him fax something over to the Pediatrician so it comes from him not me. She is on ritalin LA 10 MG like I said the lowest dose it comes in. The next dose up would be 20 MG I wish it was 15 not double I like to do little at a time. Maybe I can get the 5mg pills along with it but then she would need a noon dose and have to go to the nurse oh why does this have to be so tough.
I hate certain times of day or when I need her to do something for the battles begin like I said earlier every day is a battle and I have cracked her butt 1x yesterday which I do not like to do. It was a gentle one that only hurt her pride. As for coal you can buy it candy form in the stores and to teach her a lessson maybe we will hide her x-mas gifts and for Hanukah no ideas.

[katiekat]

Jill I sure know how you feel. Nothing that I try works either.I think Sean has ODD but it has not been diagnosed. A lot of people say he will grow out of it but I see it gets worse and worse the older he gets. He loves to annoy people on purpose and thinks it is funny. That is precisely why he has no friends and no will babysit him for me. I am fearful of what his teen years will bring. We have tried so many different things and nothing works.

[mary2]

jill said:

. She is on ritalin LA 10 MG like I said the lowest dose it comes in. The next dose up would be 20 MG I wish it was 15 not double I like to do little at a time. Maybe I can get the 5mg pills along with it but then she would need a noon dose and have to go to the nurse oh why does this have to be so tough.
.

Jill, have you ever thought about trying another med like Concerta? I say this because it is long lasting, it is the same ingredient as Ritalin, and comes in different doses. I think the lowest one is 18mg. My son is doing very well with it although he takes 5mg of Ritalin added to the Concerta just for school days, it is just just like a little booster effect for the harder time in school; this does not mean that this has to be the case for other children, since every person reacts differently to meds and doses. My son doesn't have to take any meds at school. I don't know if you have tried it, but maybe you could ask your Dr.

Our only problem is related to appetite issues. But we have been doing this and that to try to keep him well fed.

Just an opinion.

[jill]

Kittykat are you sure ours is not related for she has the same attitude. As for Concerta we tried it before and she was evil when it wore off talk about your re-bound. The Ritalin La is an extended dose for 8 hours my thing if she needs an increase I wish they had 15 MG tabs instead of 20 the next one up. I am trying to keep things low as possible. I still have concerns over medications although I know how it helps her that is my hang up.