Does this frustrate you also?

[lcdc1]

As an adult ADHD'er this is very frustrating to me! When other people or other parents ask you to volunteer for things like fund raising and they like tell you dates right there on the spot and expect you to answer them and commit right on the spot. I do not have a calender in my head and have to really try hard to maintain the one I have at home and work!

It kind of threw my mind into a gridlock today and frustrated me to the point I could not even carry on the rest of the conversation and had to walk away. ARGHHHH.

[jj]

Sure it does! But practice saying this: "I'm sorry, would you mind calling me with the details (name date and time) so I can check my calendar to see if I'll be available".

;D

[lcdc1]

yeah that seems like the thing to say. It just sends me kinda loopy, I need to work on it and maybe it frustrates me because I cannot do what they seem to do so easily!

I heard another parent sayt hat to the woman after me, but I just stood there looking stupid!

[jj]

Sometimes things just catch you off guard. I've stood with a dumb look on my face many times trying to decipher what I should say. Sometimes my brain just goes blank. Sometimes I don't even know what they said as it sounds like they totally said it in a foreign language. (This usually happens when I am fixed on thinking about something else)

[rolypolyone]

Many times my brain goes blank when I'm frustrated and I cetainly do get frustrated when someone asks me to do something on a particular date and I'm in the midst of many other things and don't have my appointment calendar in front of me. I thought the brain going blank during frustration was just me.

[charliegirl]

It drives me nuts too. I tell people I am dippy and brain dead and they will have to ask me when I can check to see what I have going on. They all know I'm loopy anyway so I don't see any point in hiding it. If I do want to commit and actually remember that I have a day and time available, I ask them to call me and remind me.

Since you have an important job and can't let them know you have a hard time with instant recall, why not just tell them that since you have two teens who are into everything you don't dare ever commit to anything until you can go check your schedule? Chances are they will agree with you that its crazy to try to keep track of one teen's schedule, and with two you are running around, its nearly impossible.

[John]

:(LCDC ~ These are ALL very good pointers & tips . . . I usually respond with something like - Give a minute/day/week to think that over and I'll get back to you as soon as possible I can't make a decision right now, I'm sure you understand.
Of course then I've got to write down to get back to them . . .

[lcdc1]

yeah that is cool and thanks for making me once again not feel isolated as an adult ADHD'er. Sometimes I get in this negative place feeling like I am the only one challenged with these things that seem simple to others! I used to keep a seperate pocket calendar for this stuff, but then realized that it caused problems because I would not coordintate the 3 calendars I had, so I stopped carrying it.

I need to learn to say the stuff you all suggested, I certainly don't want to be known as absent minded or stupid!

[John]

lcdc1 said:

I certainly don't want to be known as absent minded or stupid!

LCDC ~ Only 'stu-pid' people would think you were stu.pid (well not really, only people that were uneducated about ADDh).

And another thing I'm starting a campaign to change Attention Deficit Disorder to ''Attention Deficit Dilemma''.

[lcdc1]

haha, but that is the world I live in! I have been told not to "mind Read" by my physc, but it is the 1st thought that pops in my head, uhhh that people think stupid or slow or whatever!

Not all the people I deal with know I am ADHD and I do not announce it as charliegirl said, it is not something I share too often in my position in the community!