Does this frustrate you also?

[charliegirl]

Actually, I don't broadcast it but I live in a very small community so its not possible for me to see the same people on a regular basis for years without them knowing my memory stinks. I make a joke of it whenever I can but its obvious. I've lived over 40 years in this community and was born here. Its hard to pretend to be someone you aren't in that situation.

I've had responsible positions in the past and the people I worked for/with didn't realize just how bad I can be. I function much better in a world that is organized and I know what to expect even from the unexpected. In business, you know what is likely to happen and can still prepare for it to quite an extent. In real life, life comes at you fast, to quote a commercial thats currently running on tv.

[lcdc1]

wow, yeah, cg, you are wise about that one. I was talking to my physc who is an ADHD specialist and told him one of the things that bothers me is being able to manage at work and be a leader of people and be pretty successful at that, but then I have these major issues socially and managing a home and kids. He said something like, well at work the processes are fairly clear and set up to a degree and I know the lines and boundaries. In life, things are a little more grey and come at a different level and the processes are jumbled. HUHM - so I guess I need to reinforce what he says and what you just almost repeated how he said it.

Takes a while to sink in with me I guess - next time someone wants to get my attention for things like this to sink in - a 2 x 4 might get my attention when they say it, I might process it faster that way!

[lcdc1]

arghhhhh and on top of this incident the other day, I forgot to listen to when the practice changes are for this week and huhmmmm, I think OK I will ask Trish - WRONG, she is like welllll he said something about sometime somewhere - crap, I am going to start this week real well!

[rolypolyone]

I saw my pschiatrist today and he asked me how my memory was lately, I said it's not any worse than usual, he put me on ginko, and ginseng, along with a multivitamin. I don't think it's going to cure my ADHD, but I bought the pills and I'll give it a try. I'm sure it won't all of a sudden make my memories vivid of my boss telling me in passing that we have a meeting on "____ date".

[lcdc1]

I take concerta and ritalin and omega-3 pills. But as my physc says, pills are not the only part of managing all these challenges - it is retraining our brains and other stuff! I think all that stuff might just slow your brain down enough to be receptive to getting organized and learning new skills!

[John]

lcdc1 said:

But as my physc says, pills are not the only part of managing all these challenges - it is retraining our brains and other stuff! . . . to getting organized and learning new skills!

LCDC ~ As the saying goes ''There is no magic pill(s).'' Med's are just one side of the coin.
As I tell myself, ''I have to write it down, I have to write it down.'' I finally bought one of those pocket size calendars and keep it in my pocket ALL the TIME.
For me and I'm sure others with AD/HD we have a certain amount of 'learned hopelessness'. By this I mean we realize we have a short term memory problem and when it's brought to our attention we [may] fall back on the tried & true response, Well you know I can't remember anything past my nose. We may say this out loud as a self-defense mechanism or internally thinking, What's wrong with these people, don't they understand it's not my fault. It may not be your fault but it certainly is your problem and the people that it effects.

I think we (I) need to Practice to Remember. I'm trying to do this by repeating to myself as often as I can and need to within a certain period of time, usually 3 to ten minutes. Of course now I need to work on the consistency thing.

[lcdc1]

John I am trying and yes that is the ideal situation and all to remember without aids! But my physc said it is like I am roller skating uphill at times, I thought that was a good analogy!

I am trying to recognize those triggers for me and take a deep breathe and recognize why I go into brain lock like that! It is an old defense mechanism I guess and it is like I react even before I know what or why I am.

I AM TRYING - shewwwwww it is hard at times.

[notellin]

I don't think this is an ADHD thing. I don't have my calendar memorized, nor do I feel compelled to. It's in my purse, so if I have my purse with me, I pull it out to check the dates. Actually, a LOT of people do this. Everyone accepts an "I'll check my calendar and get back to you" response. I'd just accept this type of thing as a normal and anticipated situation, and have your response planned out in advance.

[lcdc1]

yes notellin, that is right it is all about the response for me at least, it is not the fact that I don't have an instant recall for things like that, it is the response I have to that type of situation and others. The brain lock and the fact that on a lot of occasions my response is not appropriate is what I need to work on and I do think other ADHD'ers also probably have similar issues. So thanks for telling me it is a normal thing and reminding me of that.

Another thing that I obsess about sometimes is that I can remember random facts like sports statistics or things like scientific names of freakin trees and animals, but I cannot remember a date or calendar thing! The mystery of being me!

[jj]

I think when you learn things about animals, trees, etc. - you learned it in a casual setting - no pressure to remember. It's a whole different learning and remembering process because often you have pictures to go along with the details of an animal or tree or whatever. Having someone rattle off dates never works for me. It is in one ear and out the other as fast as they said it. But for me I think it is just that I never have been able to learn by verbal teaching. I must have it in black and white before my eyes or do it myself before I'll remember. I don't think that will ever change. Which is why I've learned my stoic responses..."Call me or email me the details and I'll get back to you" or "Wait, I'll never remember those dates....let me write it down", etc...