A Son's Poem

[jfla]

Conversation

Sometimes, I feel trapped under a frozen lake,
Observing aquaintences above in heated discussion,
Oblivious to my struggle beneath the ice.

Treading the freezing water reveals only apathetic dialogue,
So in my contemplative silence and bitter solitude,
I chisel my icy ceiling with meek phrases of amity.

Alas, my words sink empty and unnoticed.
Haunted by failed attempts at conversation,
I drift away searching for lost friends.

[charliegirl]

Wow! Did your son write that? Its really good.

[jfla]

Yes, my son wrote it in a writing class last summer. I found it when I was cleaning the other day and it seemed to confirm my observations of him over the years when he is with larger groups of kids. He still says, "I hate writing"...he is a math/science/music kind of guy.

[charliegirl]

I thought about this poem off and on all day yesterday and then after I went to bed. Its a great example of descriptive poetry. Its my favorite type. It makes you think and feel about what is being said.

For someone who hates writing, he is very good at it. My high school english teacher would have loved him. If you come across more poems he has done like this, I'd love to read them.

[jfla]

I'm glad that you liked it and that it touched and stayed with you. Upon first reading it, I was struck by the imagery which seemed so much like my own feelings at times of a thick somewhat transparent wall between myself and a group of people conversing.

If I find any others, I'll post them.

[jj]

Oh my goodness, I never thought I'd say this about anything, because I'm not a fan of using the word, but that is profound! Your son has amazing talent. Honestly, I'm pretty blown away.

[lillian]

Wow, Jfla2, that's a great poem. He might want to try and get that published. Well done!