Post by misty on Jan 16, 2008 19:44:04 GMT -5
Think before you speak...
Here are 5 reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back..
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
'I thin k I like playing
with men's balls.'
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
be cause the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
'Danny, did you have an accident?'
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow, but
don't get any?
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE h ave to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
Here are 5 reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back..
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
'I thin k I like playing
with men's balls.'
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
be cause the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
'Danny, did you have an accident?'
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow, but
don't get any?
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE h ave to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
