Behavior Modification

[anon4now]

I've heard people say Behvior Modification etc. I don't know what it is. Please share your experiences with it, the good, bad and ugly.

I appreciate it.


Anon

[misty]

Behavior modification is simply different ways to get your kids to listen & to get a sense of the rules.

Wikipedia gives this definition:

"Behavior modification is the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to improve behavior, such as altering an individual's behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of maladaptive behavior through positive and negative punishment."


Personally, I've tried a few things. I started out with behavior charts when Shannon was small. They worked for a limited time, but when the novelty wore off, things reverted back to "normal"

Then we tried the marble system....where she had specific goals to meet & as she complied she earned marbles. When she went against them, marbles were deducted. That didn't work for us at all.

Finally, my DH & I decided on the rules that we felt were most important for her to follow & we decided on the consequences if she didn't. Then we informed her of our decisions . It took awhile but once she realized that wee really were going to follow through, she slowly started behaving better. She knows that if shes mouthy all week, she can't have her weekend sleep over with her friends; if she flips out when we ask her to get off the computer, she loses computer time the next day; if she won't eat dinner, she can't pig out on brownies an hour later.

Just this year we started giving her some household chores & she can earn an allowance. So far, so good. She's slowly getting more responsible & she's not begging me for money for every little thing!

[katiekat]

I have tried behavior modification with Sean using a reward system. I made a chart, we focused on one issue, and he would earn stickers. After so many stickers earned he would be rewarded with a small toy or something special he wanted to do. It worked great at first but it did not last. He began to expect a prize for everything he did and also wanted bigger and better things(like video games) as a reward. The little token prize was not enough for him anymore. Eventually he just grew bored with the whole thing and did not care if he earned a sticker or not.

[anon4now]

Hmmm, I guess it wasn't what I was thinking then.

I'm very familiar with teaching a child a task with a tactic that works for that child. My son has a morning/afternoon/evening ritual that we have taught through charts and rewards. And he knows consequences of good and bad behavior. I've done a few that have been mentioned and more.

I was more thinking of how to teach him to control his impulses etc. Are there any tools for that?

Anon

[charliegirl]

As an adult ADHDer I understand the consequences of impulse actions. Too often my mouth will get in the way now as thats the hardest to control. I've found that being uncomfortable and in unfamiliar waters makes it more likely for me to blurt the wrong thing out. Often it isn't even what I am trying to say or what I mean. For child who hasn't learned any coping skills, its even more likely to happen.

They can teach them by role playing situations where the impulsive actions may be the most likely to occur or be most harmful. They discuss the situations which arise when its most likely to happen and what the best reactions would be, act it out and take away the stress of encountering those situations without a game plan in mind.

They can teach them to take a few seconds to fully think something through before they react.

I'll try to find more info on it. I know they used similar techniques with my son for social skills and it made a huge difference for him.

With either modification, its about taking the situation from one they are unprepared for to one they are confident they can handle because they have dealt with it through role play.

As for impulse actions like stealing or hitting your brother just because it seems good at the time, I'm not sure how they do it.

[anon4now]

One of the things we really push my son to do is "Stop, Think, then act/speak." My hubby points to his ears and says "First these." Then points to his head, "Then this" and then points to his mouth, "Then this."

We've even worked with him where we ask him something and he just blurts out. "But...it was my sister...I didn't do it." and we're just asking what that noise was (probably the baby jumping off the bed.) So we tell him "Stop! Listen to my question. What was that noise? Now Wait! Don't say anything yet. Think about the question. And when you have an answer, you can say it. "

He thinks about it, then calmly says, "My sister was jumping on my bed and she jumped off." And then we say, "Ok, thank you." and he's back to playing again.

I guess we'll keep repeating this with him until it becomes a habit.

See this is good. I'm liking it here. ;D

Love to hear if you find any more info, Charlie. Stealing has been an issue since he was 5.

Anon