Post by misty on Feb 8, 2008 13:46:40 GMT -5
Why teenagers have a lot in common with cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all human efforts are barely
adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can
be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or
her parents.
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor you teen will ever
crack a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving,
barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human
ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of
the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of
behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but
veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their
direction. When they make up their minds, they
will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment
for all concerned.
As for the use of catnip as a reward or an enticement for teenagers, it is still being hotly
debated.
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all human efforts are barely
adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can
be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or
her parents.
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor you teen will ever
crack a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving,
barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human
ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of
the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of
behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but
veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their
direction. When they make up their minds, they
will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment
for all concerned.
As for the use of catnip as a reward or an enticement for teenagers, it is still being hotly
debated.
(but trUe).