Latest school stuff for Ran

[lcdc1]

some of you know that I had an appointment at the school friday afternoon with the social studies teacher and the principal and it turned out to be 40 minutes long.

I am going to try to summarize it logically her so I can get some feedback from you all. short history, one year ago the school tested my daughter for LD's, math was an obvious one, not struggling in other classes. Found eligible under IDEA, placed on a math IEP. The testing revealed the obvious math stuff when they gave her a Key Math Revised test. In the other testing it was revealed that she had memory issues short and long term and recall issues and possibly organizational stuff going on.

So she stayed in regular math on a pass fail cause I did not want her to get behind. She added a LRC math one on one class to fill in gaps and IEP goals.

I got her reports card over a week ago and saw that she had dropped a whole letter grade in 2 classes, down to a C (ok, no big deal maybe?) she still made a 3.0. So I casually flipped the social studies teacher an email to say I was a little concerned to see Ran drop a grade when all her homework was done and she got B's or above on them? THEN, the emails went back and forth for a week, like 3 a day. Bottom line went in friday and all the teachers had given a folder to the principal and yeah! She makes A's and B's on homework she does, FAILS every test, every class? I am like What the heck? (pardon my foul mouth).

Then they throw at me that there may be organizational stuff up and test stuff and recall - I am raising my voice by this time and really really trying to be controlled, and I am like did you not think this might tie into the other issues she is having and why did you all not tell me when the grades that should have keyed them in happened back in Novemeber to now?

So then I find out Ran is missing MAJOR assignments in 2 classes, essay writing on both, like worth over 100 points and like a quarter of the grade. Then the notebook thing is wicked, it looks like a multi-colored paper explosion in there. I am leaving a lot out of the conversation I know mainly becuase this was all a blindsiding thing they hit me with. Ran studies for her test and I have helped quiz her after she studies for them - F's on all?

OK, so sorry, I need advice because here is the other thing, I get a call last friday and the annual IEP meeting is scheduled for this coming friday! The teacher mentioned something about more testing, my physc a while back had mentioned more testing for her, what do I say and do in the IEP meeting when the IEP only covers MATH at this time? Do I agree to more testing? Her previous testing showed some of this already I thought? I had so much testing as a kid, I refused to take anymore and felt and still do, flawed.

HELP ME, I am stressed with a lot of stuff already as you all know. I really was oblivious to knowing this stuff till right now, I had not a clue, it was not fair of them to do this, I am not at school with her and now she acts heart broken again like last year when I had to agree to an LD label to get her help. She is such a good kid and works hard, she is beuatiful and athletic. She is in 8th grade and is playing varsity soccer now with 17 year olds, she also wants to do right. I do not want her to internalize all this and feel bad. I really need to get this one right, I am trying to break a bad cycle in my family of what happened to me as a kid and stuff, I want to do right!

I got 2 go to work now, it took me this many days just to be able to write this logically, it was all screwed up in my head and confusing a few days ago. THANKS.

[lisacap]

I was the same way as a kid, I could study and study for a test know it at home, when it came time for testing I would fail miserably, so my grades always went down...fortunately, she has an IEP ( though only for Math)...I would ask if she could be verbally tested, I know with me, I would know all the stuff, when it came down to putting it on the paper, I lost it. I did, so that as not to be singled out, take the written test with the rest of the class, in english, science, social studies, religion, and if I my grade was anything less than an 80, I stayed after when no one knew and they would test me verbally, it worked, they knew I knew the material but couldn't put it in writing, I would ask for some thing like that in her IEP. That if she doesn't pass the test, she can stay after and take it verbally....knowing that they are recognizing there are other problems, and if further testing is not an option or something you don't want her to have right now, maybe they can work something out to try it and see if she does know the material then they could grade her that way, if it doesn't work, then she may have to have the further testing and it put into her IEP for extra time and such....My 7th grader passes everything in math, but can't take the test on the paper, he stays after and does them on the chalk board and gets them all right..he has ADHD and no IEP....just a suggestion....

[charliegirl]

Does she have test anxiety? A lot of people know the material but just can't seem to pass a test. Talk to her and find out if she feels like she freezes or forgets everything when she takes tests. I don't know what you can do to overcome that but if you know its that, you can find out.

This year my son has been bringing home progress reports which show a breakdown of his grades. I get an average for each thing: homework, classwork, quizzes, tests and overall average. I can tell at a glance when he is failing tests even though his grades are ok. Ask to have that put in her IEP.

I think you would be better off to find out what testing your psych and her school think she should have and getting it done. They really want to help her so I don't think it will end in frustration like it did with you. We know so much more about ways to help kids now than they knew when you were a kid.

It does stink when we are doing our best for our kids and think everything is going well only to have all sorts of problems slam into you at once. Beg her teachers to keep you updated on how she is doing if you have to until you can have the testing done and hopefully make some changes. Something else you can do is ask each teacher if they are aware of any way you and they can work together to help her. Often a teacher will make some simple changes or allow a student to do something a bit differently if they believe it will help.

[misty]

I think Lisa had a great idea....if she knows the material verbally at home then you KNOW she knows it. So if she fails the test I bet she could benefit from taking a verbal test instead. After all, tests are meant to show what the students are learning...whether they show it verbally or in writing shouldn't matter.

I can't see where testing her further would hurt anything. If its going to help her get the help she needs to succeed, then I'd be making sure she got the tests. My daughter has been tested & retested & it never had any adverse effects. Quite the contrary...when she was retested is when they caught her 2nd LD & consequently, the help she needed. I thank my lucky stars that they found it before it was too late to do much about it.

[lcdc1]

I just got from her school with her, we were there an hour with 3 of her teachers and they went through her notebook with her and trashed all the papers just about that she had in there, then they told me that I needed to get this and that to help her get organized and I am tonight, then we are trying to use her planner like they do on the boards and she will write in it every day now, I will get weekly report from each teacher from the check and connect person. While we were there Ran was disorganized and lost 2 books in that time. Then she got really frustrated at me and I had to tone her down, she looked like me in a spaz state, then the one teacher asked me if she was ADD and I was like well that is long story! I told her I was ADHD and it is all in the file for the IEP stuff. So I have one more teacher to catch this week, the science one to touch base and then maybe we will all be on the same page, they all are very willing to help. Ran is really depressed right now and trying not to cry about it all, she is overwhelmed, but I told her it is all OK and won't feel this way if she can get organized and stay that way, I told her lets do this intense stuff for 3 weeks to see the outcome and we will go from there.

She is staying after school everyday, but tommorow to meet with the teachers to get it together and they are all willing to watch for what is up. Now what to do in the IEP meeting? I don't know if it is more time or verbal testing she needs, but it is a regurgitation issue of getting it out there. Thanks and keep the advice coming, I am swimming hard to help her!

[carol]

I can certainly empathize with your situation. I get the impression the school wants to help. It's difficult to hear, at least for me, as a mother, that my child is flawed in some way. I am still trying to come to terms with it even though I have known for over a year. At times, I feel somewhat resentful when I read things like, "Dyslexia is a gift" or "ADHD are really bright if they could just focus." Well, I am sure my son does not consider his dyslexia a gift, especially since he has not accepted it fully and he tells me he is paying attention, while he misses information or gets a message wrong I gave him. I often feel guilty for feeling the way I do. He has so many great qualities as I believe your daughter does. This seems like a really tough time right now. I think the testing would help clear some things up and put things in place that might help her. My son's frustration prior to an IEP and accommodations has damaged his self-esteem to the point he did not doing anything at all in school and it did not end there. The previous activities he excelled at, he no longer wanted to do. He felt like a failure at everything and even though he has made progress, it attempts at trying anything are slow. You are your daughter's support system. Frustration breeds a vicious cycle. If they can pinpoint an area of weakness and help that, I think it will help with some overwhelming feelings. Just take one step at a time. If you are flustered, she will follow suit. Stay calm and also take care of yourself. I'll be thinking about you.

[lcdc1]

thanks Carol for the support, I just finished 3 more hours of homework and helping my youngest get caught up on her state report and presentation. I am burned out now and have to take the youngest to basketball til 830 now.

I also got Ran a new notebook to start over and caught her up in her planner, but she is trying my patience at times with it all like I am making her do this. She feels a bit better about getting it done, not so overwhelmed I guess. She will still stay after school to work on one more big project that she has and one more make up test. If she gets behind now, geeeezzzeee!

I have to concentrate soon on the IEP prep for friday! I so just want to drink beer (my old coping method), but I will not, it would not be a good thing to give into that, I think I will just go walking wihile trish has practice and then I have to still go grocery shopping too.

[bugsmom]

LC...Big hugs out to you tonight. Sometimes things just come at you and it is just too over-welming all at once. I have been in the same position as you with Josh on things. You could just crawl out of your skin. Just remember that you are doing everything in your power for that dear little girl. It sounds like her teachers are willing to help her out and your much farther in the game than some who don't have that kind of support.

I'm not sure what to do about the IEP. We still have not had to put one in place. I don't know much about that area, but wouldn't they want to wait until further testing is done? I was just wondering.

Hang in there sweetie...we all understand and feel for you. Your doing such a wonderful job, so please don't doubt yourself. Big hugs....

[carol]

Hi,

I hope today was a better day.

[lisacap]

This may or may not help for the organization, first have them let her have all 1 subject notebooks, buy the solid color ones, then cover her text and work books in the same colors...I do this with Christian, so if his math book is covered in a blue cover, he knows, the work book is also blue and the notebook he needs for math is also blue...I have it all color coordinated so each subject has it's own color....it has helped here...