Another detention...

[bugsmom]

We've had a rough one here at our house tonight and I'm just spent.

Josh came home with another detention today...his third in the last month. I don't know what to do with him anymore. I'm so tired of talking with teachers, making excuses, talking to doctors, second guessing our med choices, and wondering what the heck goes through his head. Bare with me, I'm weepy and more than a little PMSed (I know, TMI).

I knew this morning that today was going to be a rough one. He was cranky, moody, and already super hyper. He was not wanting to go to school because his teacher just left for Florida and he new he was going to have a sub. He specifically stated to me the sub he didn't want, and of course she was the one he got. She seems a little rigid and uptight, not a great match for him. Anyway, his school has a rule if you get a name on the board from a sub, its double, so that would be two names. Well, he got a name from her right off the bat and he just shut down. Done...he's just done for the day. Then he got a name in Social Studies because someone poked him with a pencil and he poked them back. So, that leaves him with 3 names, which is a detention.

So the sub approaches me after school and wants to know what's wrong with my son today. He couldn't sit in his seat, he couldn't focas, he was humming all day, so on and so on. I simply stated he had ADHD and needs a little more positive reinforcement instead of negitive attention. She just looked shocked, how dare I question how she runs her class. Ugggggg! I'm so tired of this ADD game. His self-esteem is at a new low. He cried all the way home, calling himself dumb, stupid, can't do anything right. He laid on the couch another 15 mins crying some more. Just tore my heart out. I know he tries his hardest, but sometimes he gets so stuck. I think that his anxiety was more of an issue today than his Add. When his anxiety kicks in, its over. There is no rational thinking.

Sorry for this rant...its so tough to watch this great kid struggle so much. Geez, if he didn't have to go to school, he'd be a happy kid. He's praying for a snow day tomorrow...we just got about 5 inches, but I don't think he's going to be so lucky. He's got two more days with this sub and I don't think he's going to do well. Please keep him in your prayers tonight, the self-esteem thing is eating him up.

Thanks guys...

[katiekat]

Poor Josh. I hope he gets his snow day.

[misty]

You know, if he hasn't missed much school & you can let him stay home, a "Mental health day" might just be in order. Let him have a day at home & just enjoy his company. I do that every so often with Shannon & it does wonders for her outlook.

I'll keep Josh in my prayers.

[charliegirl]

I agree with Misty. If you know he is going to have the same sub, let him stay home if possible. He isn't going to learn much anyway as anxious as it makes him.

I don't remember. Does he have an IEP or 504? If he does, something about positive reinforcement should be in it. Also, if he does have an IEP then he can't get detention for it if his ADHD and anxiety are causing his actions. Since he usually does pretty well and its unusual situations that get him going, I think you would have a good case to argue against him getting so many.

[bugsmom]

Well, he went off to school with no problems today. I thought I would have a fight on my hands, but he was ok. I had to take him in a half and hour early for morning detention. He seemed much calmer this morning. I also think that because he knows who will be his teacher today there is no surprise, which is in some way comforting for him.

I would have given him a mental health day today (I've done that many times), but he had to big projects to hand in today and a friend coming home with him to work on another assignment this afternoon. We'll see how today goes and consider it as a possibility tomorrow. Him and daddy are leaving for a five day ice fishing trip tomorrow after school so he's excited about that and very obsessed about the whole thing. I think that has also contributed to his hyperness.

CG...we don't have an official IEP or 504 in place. Josh goes to a very small private christain school and they have always accomadated us in any way. I am, however, going to talk to the principle today about other ways we can approach this detention thing. She very good about this kind of stuff and I don't forsee a huge struggle with her. I am very much considering putting an official IEP in place. The only reason why I haven't is because I have to go through our local school district for all the testing and they make the kids their psychologist once a month. He already sees his own docs enough and it all seems like a big hassle when they already accomodate him. But, I do see us needed the IEP in the future, especially with high school two years away.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies...it really helps.

[lcdc1]

I am sooo glad he is having a better day today, I felt your pain and his! School is tough on kids at times and it is hard on us as parents because something so simple can seem so complicated. I am hoping Ran's week will improve anyday now!

She wrote on her social studies paper that the term depression = home becasue I was ranting on her last night and she had to stay up to 1100 to do 3.5 hours of homework. I think more grey hairs popped out of my head this week! It is hard, hard, to have patience at times with all this with the kid, and the teachers. I always tell Ran, I am not in your head, you need to talk to your teachers, figure out what you need and tell them!

[charliegirl]

I hope his day continues to go ok. A private school doesn't have to make any accommodations for an LD unless they choose to. I'm glad the people in yours are willing to help.

[lillian]

Here's hoping he had a better day today.

Maybe, you could give him the mental health day tomorrow or Friday? And you two could spend the day together having fun, doing the things he loves to do? I do this with my son once a nine weeks. It makes so much difference in his attitude that it's amazing!

[jmb3]

It took me a long time to understand "mental Health" days. Yes, they help take the stress off.

Also, let your child know, that he isn't bad because he has so many detentions. It isn't totally his fault that the school doesn't understand him.

The fishing trip sounds exciting Time with dad is priceless.

Have you read any books about ADD for children with him? This might help him understand himself.

Patience ..

[sweetpea]

I'm glad Josh had a better day Bugs. He is probbably so excited to go on the trip that he can't stand it.
I know we have talked detentions befor and how frustrating they can be. I hope you both have a better week!