Questions for Adult ADHDers

[katiekat]

A little background: My best friends son is almost 17 and has ADHD. When he was younger he had a rough time in school behavior wise, but always did great academically and was an above-average student. He is now in 10th grade and while he no longer gets in trouble at school because of his behavior he is struggling. His biggest problems are probably organization and staying focused. He just received his report card and it was pretty bad (Cs and Ds.)
The current situation: He recently confessed to his mother that he had begun smoking marijuana. This was a huge shock to us, as that just isn't the crowd he runs with. Yesterday she took him to the doctor b/c he had a fever and the Dr. said he had a sinus infection. When they got home he gave his mom 2 perscriptions-one for and antibiotic and one for Adderall. He spoke to the dr. and told him he feels that he needs medication for his ADHD. The dr gave him the rx and told him to talk to his mom about it. My guess is that he was using the marijuana to self-medicate and once he confessed he tried to take care of his problems in a correct way by asking for the rx. Now, the problem is my friend will not let him take the Adderall or any medication. She does not like meds for anything for anyone and avoids taking them if she can. She is just very nervous about medication and does not even like to take Motrin or antibiotics. Her son has never been medicated for ADHD and honestly I agree with that decision. He has never been violent or aggressive or anxious. But now that he is requesting it I feel a bit different. I think he recognizes that he has some problems and wants to help himself. I know I cant change her mind but I don't want to see him using illegal drugs because he feels that they help him to be calmer. She won't budge. Do any of you, as an adult take any kind of natural supplement to help you? Is there anything you can suggest? I know she is open to more natural alternatives. Right now she is just so angry and disappointed and has no clue as to what she should do.
I know I am rambling sorry...I am upset myself and worried about him. Next to my own, there is no child I love more than this kid. I have known him since the minute he was born. To me he is still the baby who used to cry hysterically and try to block the door when I would leave his house. He is an extremely intelligent, talented kid with a ton of potential-I don't want to see him go down the wrong path and I think he is at that fork in the road.
Also does anyone take meds? What exactly do they help you with? Do you notice a big difference? I just want to give her as much info as possible so she can make the right decision for him.

[bugsmom]

KK, I feel for you. I have watch my step-nephew go down the road of self-medicating his adhd for years and its not pretty. Their are others that are much more qualified to tell you about natural remedies and I'm sure they'll post them for you, but I'm worried for your friends son because of what I've seen.

First of all, I applaud this boy for seeking help. He is old enough to decide what he wants to do and in a year from now his mother isn't going to have as much say. I think that he was brave to tell his parents that he been using pot to focas. He is reaching out and it hurts me to think that he isn't being heard. I think I would research the natural things for your friend and also supply her with information of what can happen to kids that self-medicate. My step-nephew used pot instead of meds once he reached high-school. At 23 he is highly addicted now. He likes being calm from the pot, yet can't keep a job because he wants to sleep all the time. Its a vicious cycle.

I am very much like your friend, I hate to take a tylenol. I never wanted to medicate Josh, but by watching my step-nephew, I knew I had to do something. I'm sure its hard for you as a friend to watch this happen. I think you should be open and honest with your friend and help her by providing good solid information on what can happen to these kids. Hugs to you...

[John]

KK, I am really concerned for this boy. Even though his mother will not take any med's she should not impose her anxiety about them on her 17 y/ son. A large percentage of all med's are derived from natural products, ie; plants, flowers, leafs, roots etc.

I would say say her son is Very anxious and yes he is self medicating because this is the only way for him to feel that he can function.

I have been taking Concerta [54MG] for about 2 years with excellent results and Lexapro [20MG] for anxiety. The way it works for me is that with the ADD med's I will usually spend less time debating with myself about when/why/how to accomplish some task. I don't get bogged down in ''channel' surfing in my mind. This is where your thoughts come to you and keep switching or changing every few seconds like a tv that flips through stations with no remote or control.

I strongly feel that medication alone is not the complete answer. Everything I have ever read and my own experience has said that med's by themselves is just one side of the coin. I have found that Cognitive Therapy is extremely beneficial in helping me see how I can think in a healthy way about my self and how to function as a healthy adult in my relationships with people in my life.

Many parents view the idea of their children taking med's for ADD in an incorrect way. They have the misconception that all they are doing is ''drugging'' their children so they will not be a problem. When the fact the medication is helping their children's brain to function in the way it was intended.

I doubt that if one of their kids had diabetes they would be against giving their children medication to resolve that problem. But since we are talking about the 'brain' they feel somehow unwilling to use medication. I feel that many people who feel this way for themselves or their children is still living in the Dark Ages of Mental Illness.

I really hope that I'm not coming across too Blunt or Harsh, I just feel very strongly about this issue as a whole.

If I have offended you or anyone else please accept my Most humble Apologies . . .

[lisacap]

first hand experience of an adult ADHDer, I self medicated from 8th grade, till in my late 20's...speed, cocain, crystal were my choices of drugs, they calmed me, pot had a reverse effect and made me very hyper so I stayed away from that...I worked 2 and 3 menial jobs to pay for my habit...of course when I was a child ADD wasn't a real thing, especially in girls, I was considered very smart, but never applied myself,fresh, out of control and many behavior issues, went through numerous different colleges, had I been diagonosed and put on meds earlier in life, I would be more than what I am now..I have gone through with out completing, nursing school, physical therapy program, early childhood education, real estate school, I could go on, all were started very gung ho, and dropped as soon as the pressure became too much...as a parent of child with ADHD, medicating was the biggest decision I ever made, but seeing the difference in my child out weighs the ups and downs of it. If this child/young man at 17 realizes there is a problem and is looking for a solution that is going to benifit him, make his life happier and more productive then I have to commend him for taking that step...living in a lifes worldwind daily is horrible..as John stated earlier trying to get through the when,what,and why's of day make it long, hard and unproductive. Starting something as trivial as a load of laundry, then forgetting about it for 2 days because of everything else around you is horrible... When Christian was diagonesed, so was I...I have been taking Concerta 54 mg, with a 20 mg ritalin booster in the afternoon, for 5 yrs now...and the changes I can see have been terrific, in the hectic life that I live, the med's help me get through it daily. I find I can now complete a task in one shot, stay on subject for more than a few minutes, I don't zone out and pray that all the things in my head will stop now. I could go on and on, but I would talk to your friend, medicating for a "REAL ILLNESS" will far outweigh the effects she may have to endear if her son becomes addicited to non prescription drugs, it will lead to the wrong crowd of people, stealing, arrests...God if he is willing to help himself, so should see..I would hate to see him going down the wrong path, when the right road is right in front of him. I hope he takes control and makes the decision to get the help he needs, he already has taken step one...good for him.....

[lcdc1]

Tough situation, sounds like his mom just does not want things like meds to be bad for him. With that said, she also needs to listen to him and try to communicate with him! He is obviously not feeling good about himself and IS SELF MEDICATING! That will turn out to be much more dangerous than trying a medication under a doctors care! Acting out and self medicating are a sure sign that he needs a hand, a change in who he hangs with and how he spends his free time is important to watch also.

I feel for the kid, disorganization and thinking your stupid are really a bad thing, it leads to so many more problems that will be much harder to sort out than ADD! If she does not think the doc did a thourough enough evaluation or did not rule out other issues, she could take him to a physc or ADD Specialist or something to help him sort this out. The kid sounds kind of smart to me in that he broached the subject with the doctor and recognized that he was not dealing with this challenge by himself in a good way!

If the mom is concerned about some kind of drug problem or misues of adderall, she can make sure he gets a long acting type and docs usually start at the lowest dose possible that will be effective. I take 72 mg of concerta and I thank god that I went to the doc and tried it a while back - I was sooooo self medicating and hitting the wall in challenges from ADHD that it was killing me and I was becoming self destructive. My mom also was against meds and I ended up locked up and institutionalized because I could not manage the ADHD and then I was in trouble all the time and impulsive. I am highly intellegent when it is measured on testing as a kid and high schooler and adult, that does not matter, the ADHD over rides any sense or reaching any potential of your IQ.

I also take fish oil everyday and I see a physcologist weekly to unravel all the issues my untreated ADHD had and has caused me. The mom needs to try to understand things better and remember that ADHD is not a bad thing, it can be good in some ways. The kid has learned a lot and taken it all in, he just cannot get it out when he needs to recall it now! The boy needs his moms understanding and support more than anything right now and she needs to set up a meeting at the school for him and her to see if there needs to be any testing for other issues done. I wish the boy the best of luck and hope that he is strong enough to seek the help he needs now before things get worse for him. Anxiety and depression can be side effects he will develop if he has untreated ADD.

[katiekat]

Thanks for all your input. I shared what you all said with my friend and it has helped tremendously. She totally agrees that he is self-medicating and he even researched it on the internet. He has read several articles about doctors who are in favor of having marijuana legalized and used as treatment for ADHD. I pointed out to her that sadly it was easier for him to get weed rather than a RX because he knows how she feels about medication. He also asked to see a therapist and I suggested she jump on that because so many kids have to be forced to go or refuse to go and here he is asking for help. There is good news. Because I read her your responses she has now decided to allow him to take medication if he (and a therapist) feel that it is his best option. I told her I would help her find a therapist b/c I know it is a hassle and is time-consuming. Beings she is a single mom working 2 jobs she doesnt have free time during the day to sit on hold for 30 minutes. So the plan is she is going to take him to a therapist asap. He said he would be willing to try natural supplements at first so long as he knew that if he really felt like he needed more she would be willing to agree. I think if she talks to a professional and is given some options(she is more comfortable having him take something that is not a stimulant) that she will feel better about the whole meds issue. She agrees that taking meds prescribed by a doctor is much safer than him getting something off the street. I am hopeful now because she is being so open-minded about the meds.

[lcdc1]

Cool, you are a good friend to them! Tell her to come join the site, we are interested in hearing how it goes for them!

[bugsmom]

Your update is awesome, KK. I'm so glad that your friend is addressing her sons issues, meds or not. Just knowing that she is willing to address the issues with professionals makes me feel better. Hugs to you for being such a great friend! You should tell her to join our group. Maybe the support here is just what she needs!

[rolypolyone]

I'm so glad to see all the imput you got on this and where it all went katiekat, I never had the benefit of a diagnosis or even that there was such a thing as ADHD when I was 17. I self medicated with many things just to take the edge off. I hope all this works out, I myself do take Adderall and feel that if it's monitored, it's a safe alternative. I certainly would not have gone that route if it weren't the recommendation of a psychiatrist. I also take Ginko, and Ginseng as a recommendation from my psychiatrist. I do feel that the supplements are a benefit. Good luck with your "nephew".

[lcdc1]

What do Ginko and ginseng do for ADHD? I think I remember that ginko is supposed to be good for memory.