Discipline

[dimples74]

So here it goes. Discipline has been a tough road and we have tried just about everything with Noah. When you have a child with Autism Spectrum disorders, you have to be very creative. He has a very high tolerance for pain, so spanking is definitely not the answer. Let's see, sit the ADHD in a chair for 5 minutes. That is a joke unless you plan on sitting on top of him. Taking toys away, no effect. He is pretty creative so he just finds something else to mess with. I'd bag em all up except I have no place to put them even though he doesn't have excessive amounts. Well, we tried 2 things and both have worked, but I don't know if they are considered abuse or not. I would never abuse my child intentionally so here it goes:
1) ONE drop (not a tsp, just a drop) of Texas Pete on his tongue. It worked well the first 2 times except on try #3, it ended up being a fight and the drop kept becoming another drop because the drop would land on his face........BAD BAD BAD. None of it ever got to his mouth. He is a red head with fair skin. Even though only about 2 drops landed on his face, the rest ended up on the floor. His face was "set on fire." It turned bright red like a sunburn (for a few mintues). Of course I cried because that wasn't my intention, even though it didn't really "hurt" him as such. That was the end of that.....
2) Pull hair. Larry started that one and it truly works. He has really short hair, but I can still get a hold of a few pieces and he hates that. Since there isn't physical harm, I figure it is no different than a spanking. Any thoughts?

[dimples74]

Also, Mama use to drag me by my hair as a little girl and she ain't in jail.......

[jill]

Sounds like you have your hands full have you tried loss of privileges like TV or computer time? I would talk to your psychologist for ideas as well. I hope things get better for you.

[misty]

My husband was given the "hot sauce treatment" as a child & all it did was make him love hot sauce! He said it didn't stop the behavior.

I have to agree with Jill on this one. Loss of privileges would work much better. Pulling hair or any other physical punishment will only lead to resentment & more acting out on the child's part.

I'd take away his computer time, TV time, play dates, etc. I think in the long run it will work better. He'll eventually figure out that the better he behaves the more fun he can have.

[anon4now]

*First of all, my knowledge of your son's conditions is limited to none.*

I'm sorry I don't have any good suggestions for you, but my son has lost all of his privledges for almost 2 years now. And his behavior is getting worse.

When my son was younger I had a very large poster board with different times of the day outlined, and what I expected of him. So the first section said this:

AM
Take Shower
Dry off and Dry bathroom floor
Get dressed with Socks and Shoes on
Eat Breakfast and clean up after yourself
Be ready with backpack at door for school.

Then for everything he did successfully, he would get a check mark (I used cut outs with velcro) and if it wasn't successful, he would get an X. If he had three X's he would not earn anything. But if there were less X's. Then he could choose something (TV time, board game, outside play, trip to the icecream shop, etc.)

The three x's would open up discussions about what was so challenging about that time of day, and how he can improve. It gave him a visual of what was expected of him, and how he can control what goes up on the board. If he came home from school with all "Checks" it would motivate him to finish up the day that way.

I don't know what your son is doing to get punishments. But if it's something like Hitting. Then you can break the day up into three parts, and put Did not Hit. Then if he makes it through that part of the day without hitting, he gets the "check"

I guess this is sort of a positive reinforcement plan.

Oh, another thought. About Time-Outs. If your son won't sit on a spot for however long. You could always pick a large spot. I don't know if you have a spare room, but you could clear it all out. And that's his time-out area. For my son, I realized the time outs were really time for me to calm down. My son really didn't "get" anything out of them. It was like, "I'll just do my time, and move on with my day." Rather than, "I really shouldn't have done that, next time I do it, I'll be put in time out again."

We also did punishments where my son was only allowed to read (all toys were gone). That summer he came out of those punishments reading really good. So we changed it to writing punishments. Now he's getting really good at writing. lol

Good luck,

Charmed

[dimples74]

Thanks guys. I loved the thing about the hot sauce lover!!!!!

When I was little and I use to babysit one of my cousins, he went through this biting phase. He laid into me one night and I bit him back. He cried and he never bit anyone again.

One of my friends did the same thing and her son stopped biting.

Noah is so creative that he can play with a piece of paper for an hour. We have limited TV time in our house and I would take it away as well as the computer, but it is part of our evening routine and since sleeping has been an issue, I think it would make things worse. We finally have something that is working for us. He use to walk the floors at night...up and down and up and down.........AHHHHHHHHHH.

Here is our routine:
Home from school
Do homework
Play outside
Artsy fartsy time while I make supper
Supper
Bath
Check on Harry (his Webkinz horse)
30 min of Power Rangers (it comes on at 8:00) or whatever is his choice
Potty
LIGHTS OUT 8:35

I lost my liason / coordination rep for Noah. She was always helpful, however, we have an appt with a counselor so we will see how it goes.

I don't think I made it very clear on how I use the hair pulling thing. I use it when he is squishing his brother and won't get off, when he is hitting me, or when he refuses to move from the spot he is in after being instructed to do something.

I ain't gonna give up. Just have to find something of value.....

Noah has been GREAT for the past few days. I will send out another blog on that one.

[lcdc1]

I only know what I have done and read about with my teenager, sorry!

But the new ADHD book on teenage years is very helpul to me and you would think the information is basic and we should already know it! But, it really emphasizes the fact that positive reinforement is a huge tool in compliance. Like set up a reward system that works for you paticular kid, maybe points to earn that special small toy that he can only purchase with behavior earning. Also, catch the kid being good a lot with the behavior you want them to exhibit and praise them for it. If you have to disciplin all the time on every issue, you set up a battle zone for the future!

Discipline is always neccessary, but rewards seem to work best - oh, and lots of patience too!

[dimples74]

:)Even though I do praise him a lot for the good things he does, I think you just reminded me that I don't do enough. I need to spend more time praising then fussing. Needed that...thanks.

[misty]

We all need that reminder once in awhile. Sometimes I think back on a day & realize all I seemed to do is nag at my daughter. I have to stop & remind myself to have more positive interactions. Shes almost 14 & sooner than I think she'll be grown & all my chances will be gone. Today I sat with her & let her read me all the info she's been printing out about dog training. She has a whole notebook filled. It was interesting & we had a nice time just talking together. Afterwards, she happily washed the dishes for me & then we watched Super nanny together. And I never once mentioned that she needed to go clean her pigsty of a bedroom!

[dimples74]

So much for the good days...back to the bad. Noah hauled off and beat the crap out of Luke today for no apparent reason. I was cooking supper and couldn't get there fast enough. Luke cried for like 10 minutes. He'll have bruises tomorrow...He's only 3 so sometimes it scares me! I grabbed Noah by the hair-back to that again-and sent him to his room to cool off. Once he did, I made him apologize and sent him back to his room. He had no computer time or TV time tonight. He is in his bed early tonight. I let him take a book, but he's staying there!!!!!!!