Ungrateful

[katiekat]

And quite honestly unbelievable. I cannot believe the comment that Sean made to me yesterday. I volunteered to help out with his end of the year party at school. When I was dropping him off at school I said "I am going to go home and get a shower and then I will be back at 9:30 for the party." He then says to me in a very nasty manner "Oh. So now you FINALLY decide to do something for me." WHAT!!!!
Honestly if we had not been in public I don't think anything could have stopped me from slapping him in the mouth.
I guess he feels that now that his mommy FINALLY decided to pay attention to him after almost 8 years that she is just so wonderful. I have done more for him in the past 2 years alone than I have for my own kid. I just thought it was the most hurtful and unappreciative thing I have ever heard him say.

[jj]

Oh KK, I know that must of hurt. Kids just blurt out things and they really don't mean them. How many parents have heard the "I hate you" or "I wish you weren't my Mom". I know I said those very words to my Mom. You have to just try very hard to let it roll off your back. It sounds like he is just repeating a phrase he heard somewhere and really doesn't even realize what he said. He is so young, he has no clue what half of the stuff he says really means. How can he? He is just barely learning to read.

[misty]

His bio-mom probably put those thoughts in his head. i'm betting when he's with her shes doing things & saying "see, your step mom doesn't do this for you or that for you". I wouldn't put too much blame on him. He's in a sense being brain washed.

[jj]

I agree with Misty, I bet his bio-mom has something to do with it. Face it KK, most parents don't have grateful kids until they are adults well into their 20's. That is when children finally realize how much their parents did for them.

That's not to say you shouldn't have a talk with him and tell him how much that hurt you but I bet he doesn't even remember saying it. It was just echo'ing something someone else said.

[lcdc1]

I am sorry he said that and I know he only did it to get a rise out of you for some reason - like projecting! Don't take it personally at all, just take a time out and then redirect his inaccurate thinking by saying, Now sean, you know that is not a true statement and we only try to tell the truth in this family. Tell him if he is feeling bad or whatever, that he needs to say what is really bothering him in his own words. Just keep on it, it will all come around. I too get bothered by what my kids say at time, but try to keep it in perspective of them having a moment of not knowing how to deal with some other issue or their own anger! Believe me, I have and still have to work on this!

[charliegirl]

KK, the fact that he doesn't see the day to day things that you are doing for him and only sees the extra things says a lot for you. He is taking you for granted, just as a kid should with their parents. You're always there for him so he doesn't notice.

As for the smart mouth comment, I tend to agree with the others. His birth pod is going out of her way right now to be the fun parent and make it look like you don't care as much. Give him time. He will eventually realize who has been there for him right along and who really gives of herself all the time.

Kids are greedy. They accept everything we do for them and give them and always want more. They have so few responsibilities that they can't see how difficult it is for us to be there for everything because their lives revolve around us but ours involve having to provide for their needs as well as their wants, along with having to do the same for the rest of our families. They don't understand at that age that real love covers the needs first. They do figure it out but not until they are much older.

[jill]

The other thing that may be going on is bio mom is probably letting him do what ever he wants to and is doing all fun things with him that he wants then takes him home to you and you are the disciplinarian not seen as the fun.