College

[missy]

Hi,

Does anyone here have a son or daughter about to go to college? I have a son who will be going to college next month. He has an LD in written expression and ADD. I wondered if anyone here was experienced with this transition and if you have any advice. He is very shy about asking for help.

[charliegirl]

Jfla's son is in college and had to transition in. She doesn't come every day but I'm sure she will respond when she comes.

I'm pretty sure several moms on Mayleng's site have kids in college. This is the link to hers. millermom.proboards107.com/index.cgi?

[jfla]

Hi Missy,

Yes I have a son that started college last year. What an exciting time! Needless to say, going away to college is a big transition for both parent and child. Like your son, mine has also been hesitant about requesting services or help for special needs. I tried not to be a "helicopter parent" and tried to give him space to figure things out. I think by the end of the year he learned a lot about himself and what he could do to advocate for himself so that he can be successful. I had worked with him a lot in high school to practice self advocacy skills, but I think some of the hesitance actually stems from accepting the ADHD. Colleges have lots of support staff and the student really needs to learn how to use it. At the end of his first year: 1) he said that altho his grades were good, they weren't as good as he would like them to be; 2) he admitted that his study skills needed improvement; 3) he was interested in using the services of an adhd coach at the college; 4) he had learned how to make use of his professor's office hours for additional help 5) it appears that he can share with others that he has adhd.

Has your son met with staff at the college's center for students with disabilities? I have lots of information I compiled related to transition. articles, books, checklists etc If you are interested, I'd be happy to post it.

[jfla]

So, I asked my son for his advice before he fell asleep. (not good timing on my part) He said:

I learned that I actually need accommodations. I was arrogant, no, headstrong. I thought that I was on the same page as everyone else, but I'm not.

He also said some stuff about he should have asked for help/accoms earlier and doing homework in the daytime instead of staying up late.

Hmm...it is late for me now. G'nite!

[missy]

Thanks to all for your replies.
jfla, I would appreciate any info you have. He has not met with the staff for any length of time. We went by one day after registration to speak with the director but we did not have an appointment and she seemed too busy to talk. I didn't get a good feel from her at all. She wasn't quite rude so much as she was just eager for us to leave. I'm sure my son picked up on it too. With that kind of attitude I don't know if he will be motivated to ask for help especially since he is easily intimidated by adults with that attitude. I personally feel like there is too much empasis put on these kids to do so much on their own. I mena what's the point of testing to qualify for help if only to be told "you're going to have to do this on your own". I'm sorry, we just had such as hard time in high school I wonder if college will be worse. If we had a problem with something a teacher was doing the sped teacher was an advocate for the teacher not my son. And he never caused trouble in the classroom at all. I feel like with anything else you have to get lucky to actually be somewhere where the people are willing to reach out to you and help you get the best education and make you feel like you're a person. I just don't feel like that's asking too much. After all, that's what they're paid for,right?

[bugsmom]

Missy...first, welcome to our group! We're so happy that you've found us!

Although I do not have a college age son, (mine is 12), I Do have two nephews with learning disabilities. My one nephew graduated last summer from a major university, and my other nephew is just starting this fall like your son.

I have to say that my older nephew had a tremendous amount of help from his school. My sister-in-law made sure of it before she sent him off. She may have went over-board, but he was three hours away and wanted to make sure he was going to succeed. He had a wonderful advisor, tutors to support him, and they also had a walk-in learning resource center. I think most colleges these days have tons of support. I know my nephew was able to do all his testing orally and they made the appropriate accomedations for him. If you don't like the director that is suppose to support your son, find another one immediately. That is what your paying for. I would just contact the conseling office and ask for someone that is well versed in students with LD's.

My nephew that is just starting college has hooked up with one such counselor. There really are support services for college students, but you may have to do all the searching.

Good luck to you...let us know how it goes. We look forward to getting to know you and your son.

[jfla]

Missy,
I am so sorry that your first contact with the director was not more positive and welcoming. When I went on four college visits with my son, I had appointments with the directors of special services. He went to one or two of them due to conflicts of scheduling. I came prepared with a list of questions which they fully appreciated. Some schools seemed over burdened with trying to meet demands of special services because of growing population of students that qualify. Schools that did not have a special services adviser were in the process of adding that to their staff. The school he ended up selecting has a director especially knowledgeable about adhd, very nice, and made a big point at an orientation meeting that it was up to the student to come in and that she was not going to track him down at school. Big difference between mom and the big world out there. I understand your concerns. My son applied for and received accommodations, yet did not want to turn in the letters to his teachers because he wanted to see how he could do without.
Spring semester he applied again and turned in the letters after receiving a grade on his first test. Things went better.

Sorry for some rambling but I will start posting some things for you.
Jfla

[jfla]

Look under College Transition in the Schools section