Bed time woes

[anon4now]

DS has never been difficult at bed time. But since his depression cycle, he's having a hard time laying in bed waiting to fall asleep. The last couple of days he was actually getting so frustrated he was trashing around the room, sitting in the bathroom, reading books, laying in bed and just hitting the wall, bed, his head, kicking, thrashing, grunting and crying.

I put it in his journal that goes between home/school/IOP Program. They confronted him during group (they actually read the entry in front of everyone and he denied it). Before he left though, he did admit to the hard nights and they thanked him for being honest.

So last night was very interesting. He had a great night at home. We even went out and got him three more silly putties to have around the house and at school. I sent him up to bed and he asked if I could come up to talk. That was around 8:00 PM. He told me he wasn't sure why, but he felt weird about going to bed. I made lots of offers. Read a book, work on your puzzle, sort your pokemon cards. He asked if we could play pokemon and I said no. That it was time for him to calm down on his own. Not for mom to sit with him and play games all night. He understood. I asked if he wanted me to change his sheets, he said yes. I asked if he wanted music, he said yes. So I went in my room to play a CD and while I was doing that he was rolling on the floor saying "I can't do it. It's too hard, I won't be able to do it." I told him to try and lay down and just listen to the music and I would be back in 5 mins. 5 mins later he was sitting in the bathroom. I talked to him for a little bit in the bathroom, made some more suggestions, and silly putty got a yes, so I went down and got it. When I came back up, he was sitting under his desk. I handed him the silly putty and said I would come back in 5 mins. When I came up, he was in the bathroom again. I asked him if he wanted to sit in his closet and he said no but I could tell he was interested, so we might try that later. Than he asked for medicine to help him sleep. I gave him some benadryl and asked him if he wanted me to tuck him in real tight under his blankets and he said yes. (he was excited about that one, so thanks CG for the idea about wearing heavy clothes and being weighted down) I tucked him in, told him I would be back in 5 mins. I went up in 15 and he was asleep. That was around 9:00.

He felt like it was a lot of work and he's not sure if he could do it again. I told him with practice, he'll get better. And now we know what does work and what doesn't work, so it might go faster tomorrow. I think a night of safe bed time is a success in my eyes. I'm very proud of how he handled it, and how open he was to working on this problem time. Now I just need to find an better ending then medicine. I'm heading over to the natural section to ask about night time tea.

Anon

[puzzled]

I am so glad that tucking him in tightly worked! Perhaps next time, you could tuck him in that way and read a story to him for a few minutes?

Have you tried melatonin? It is available in the vitamin section of most stores, and it works wonders for Chase and for me when I am having trouble sleeping. We buy the 3mg tablets and one works for me when I can't sleep, sometimes it takes two for Chase, my ped says it is perfectly safe to use.

[jfla]

My son had difficulty getting to sleep for many years. I didn't think of trying to tuck him in tightly then. Wish I had, as I fondly remember my dad tucking me in. He could do it better than mom since he'd actually lift the mattress up on three sides tightly tucking in the three sides with the precision of an engineer. The effect was amazing.

I think J was in 11th grade when it started getting easier. I transitioned him off clonidine with melatonin. Gabba was used by another mom who weaned her son off cloinidine. Soon melatonin didn't seem to be doing much and I didn't want to up the dose, he switched to Gabba Calm with beneficial effects. I believe it was sublingual with a mint flavor. Now he doesn't need anything. I think Gabba is well worth looking into.

Another thing that helped J go to sleep was something he came up with on his own. (probably 11th grade) He discovered that winding yarn into balls was very relaxing. He'd take a skein of yarn to bed with him and while he laid in bed, he'swind it into a ball of yarn in the dark . I suppose it gave him something to do physically with his hands instead of thrashing around. His mental attention was focused on doing it...and perhaps it was repetitive enough to put him to sleep.

Now at age 20, he says that one hour of exercising in the morning helps him sleep better at night.

Good Luck!