|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 12:17:55 GMT -5
Post by katiekat on Mar 17, 2009 12:17:55 GMT -5
Every time something goes on at school with Sean they try to rationalize it by blaming it on something that is going on at home. The guidance counselor calls me today and starts asking me all these questions like "have you changed his meds?" "has his visitation w/ his mom changed?" "have there been any changes at home that are upsetting him?" I asked her why she wanted to know is there a problem at school? She said Sean has been having more anxiety than usual. She said he is VERY anxious so she figured something must be going on at home. I told her no there have been no changes at all and he seems fine to me. We have noticed no anxiety, he is sleeping fine, and actually we think he's doing quite well. I then said that I did not have long to talk b/c I was at work and she's all "ooohhhhh you're working!!?? Is that every day?" I said yes and she told me that must be the reason for his aniety that is a VERY big change. I asked her when this supposed anxiety started and she said it's been about 2-3 weeks. I then let her know that I have been working since December and not only that, the latest I get home is 2:15 (which is rare that it's even that late) and Sean does not get done school until 3:00 so my working does not ever affect him. I am still there every day before he walks out the door of that building to pick him up. I then suggested to her that since we have not seen any increase of anxiety at home that perhaps the thing that is causing him anxiety is at school. Perhaps it is the fact that the work is getting harder, he has no idea how to do it, and now math which used to be his best subject is now beyond his realm of understanding. Then I said "oh yes, now that you mention it I do see some anxiety-but it is only when he is doing his math homework because he has absolutely no idea how to do it." She said she does not think that is the problem. I am wondering why everything has to be blamed on his homelife? He's got it pretty darn good here. The only place he feels stress is at school because, as Ive been saying for the past 2 years-he can't do the work!!! Anyway my husband called Sean's caseworker and said he feels he needs more help in math and she said she would talk to the teacher. I hate that school.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 14:01:14 GMT -5
Post by bugsmom on Mar 17, 2009 14:01:14 GMT -5
KK...that would be totally irratating! I don't blame you for being a little ticked off. It cracks me up that these "professionals" never take into fact that school alone triggers high anxiety for our kids. Not to mention the fact that bipolar individuals HAVE a lot of anxiety to begin with. I wish they'd do a little research on what exactly all of these disabilities incompass. Maybe then they'd really understand how to deal with our kids.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 15:16:18 GMT -5
Post by misty on Mar 17, 2009 15:16:18 GMT -5
You know, bugsmom reminded me....when Shannon was first Dxed, I wrote up a folder of info to give her teachers. I included the best websites I could find on dealing with ADHD behavior at school & you know what?? One of her teachers sought me out to thank me. She said no one had ever gone so far before & the websites really helped her get some great ideas of dealing with not only my child, but all kids with issues. It might not hurt to give them some info. At the very least they won't ever be able to say that they don't understand or know what to do about different things because you gave them the ammo to learn. I think it totally stinks that the parents get blamed for everything the kids do at school. I think some basic classes on dealing with different disabilities should be mandatory for all teachers.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 15:20:45 GMT -5
Post by charliegirl on Mar 17, 2009 15:20:45 GMT -5
www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/ALESSI1.htmlRead this. It just might shock you. Then again, this study just proves what we already knew. School Culture If you have run into a "brick wall" of resistance when you tried to obtain changes in your child’s educational program, you need to understand how schools really work. You need to learn about "school culture" and the beliefs held by many educators, school psychologists, administrators, and guidance counselors. Dr. Galen Alessi, Professor of Psychology at Western Michigan University, conducted a fascinating study on school psychologists. Dr. Alessi’s study illustrates why so many parents have problems dealing with schools. Dr. Alessi’s article is "Diagnosis Diagnosed: A Systemic Reaction" published in Professional School Psychology, 3(2), 145-151. The primary role of the school psychologist is to evaluate children to determine the reasons for learning and behavior problems. According to Dr. Alessi, when a child has trouble learning or behaving in school, the source of the child's problem can usually be traced to one or more of five causes.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 20:44:03 GMT -5
Post by bugsmom on Mar 17, 2009 20:44:03 GMT -5
You know, bugsmom reminded me....when Shannon was first Dxed, I wrote up a folder of info to give her teachers. I included the best websites I could find on dealing with ADHD behavior at school & you know what?? One of her teachers sought me out to thank me. She said no one had ever gone so far before & the websites really helped her get some great ideas of dealing with not only my child, but all kids with issues. It might not hurt to give them some info. At the very least they won't ever be able to say that they don't understand or know what to do about different things because you gave them the ammo to learn. I think it totally stinks that the parents get blamed for everything the kids do at school. I think some basic classes on dealing with different disabilities should be mandatory for all teachers. Misty, I used to do the same thing too! Every year before school started I would copy my favorite pages from "Driven to Distraction" for Josh's teachers. It would include Josh's biggests challenges and what I KNEW would work for him. Some teachers were wonderful and truly grateful for the information. Others, could have cared less. The ones that used the information were the teachers he had the most success with. They really cared. The ones who could have given a sh*%, we're not successful at all. It all really depends on the individual. Josh's 2nd grade teacher was the best one ever. She totally dove into findind out as much as she could about ADHD. She even attended a weekend conference the year she had Josh, just so she would know how to understand him. I was so thankful for her eagerness and told her so. You know what she said to me..."It's my job to know this." He still loves her to this day and takes her bluegill fillets when he catches a bunch. She was the best.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 21:14:50 GMT -5
Post by katiekat on Mar 17, 2009 21:14:50 GMT -5
I like this idea. I am going to find some articles on BP, print them out and hand deliver them to the guidance counselor. Who, you would think would know a little about such things.
And Bugs-Josh's 2nd grade teacher sounds wonderful! And she's right-it is her job. It's ALL of their jobs.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 17, 2009 21:56:12 GMT -5
Post by bugsmom on Mar 17, 2009 21:56:12 GMT -5
I like this idea. I am going to find some articles on BP, print them out and hand deliver them to the guidance counselor. Who, you would think would know a little about such things. And Bugs-Josh's 2nd grade teacher sounds wonderful! And she's right-it is her job. It's ALL of their jobs. Even though someone is a counselor, dosen't mean they know much at all about BP. Most counselors have degrees in social work, not phsycology. You would think with all the kids that deal with these types of disabilities, they would know all about it, but its not true. I got sooooooo tired of being the "Educator". I think its a good idea to offer information or tips on how to deal with Sean. Just be prepared, some professionals will be offended. I, for one really didn't care if I offended someone. I was just trying to advocate for my son.
|
|
|
Blame
Mar 18, 2009 11:03:31 GMT -5
Post by anon4now on Mar 18, 2009 11:03:31 GMT -5
KK,
If you need my help let me know. I'll start posting some links in the BP section. When I get some time.
Anon
|
|