Little Confused

[momof2]

Hello to all and I am glad I found this site. I am a single mom to 2 wonderful children. I work as an in home child care and also attend collage full time.
My dd is 16 almost 17 and was not diagnosed with ADHD until she was in 9th grade. It has been a long hall and she is still not receptive to behavior modification of any kind. Now my ds's preschool teacher is concerned about him. I just feel plain tired and over whelmed most of the time. I feel like I am watching my ds start down a very scary road and I can't get him to stop. He is only 3 so I am not sure what the teacher is thinking for sure but I have a feeling she is wondering about ADHD. I now have so many questions. I do not want to wait like I did with dd but I also do not want to label him if it is just a rough patch he is going through.

[misty]

First of all,



What exactly did your DS's teacher say? What is most concerning her? He's young so once you find out what her concerns are you can watch him closely as he matures a bit. If it turns out that you think he's ADHD you can have him tested to find out for sure. The earlier you find out & get him help, the better he'll do in the long run. I understand your worries about labeling him....I felt the same way when my DD was diagnosed.What I found out though, was that the labeling was what helped her. Without the label she wouldn't have gotten the services that have helped her so much in school. She's in 7th grade now & doing pretty well. Of course, my DD has a learning disability along with inattentive ADD so she had to be labeled to get special ed classes for math.

Whatever happens, you stumbled into the right place! We will support you & help you all we can. And on those days when it all gets to be too much, come down to the friendship section where we have a vent board where you can vent without worry about being judged, a joke section for some laughs &even recipes if you need some!

[momof2]

I do want to get him help if he needs it as I said my dd was not diagnosed until 9th grade and it seems to have added a whole new level of anger to her. My son just seems to hate school and has a very hard time sitting still for even short periods of time. He can for a short time when he wants to but spends a lot of time crawling around acting like an animal when he is supposed to be sitting. The short example she gave me was after art they all wash hands and sit on the rug before going to the tables for snack. Even when reminded he doesn't sit but crawls around on the rug. When reminded again he will just reply he is being a dog or other animal and continue doing it. I have also noticed at home it is getting harder to get behaviors to stop. He will go in to his sisters room ( typical behavior) and will have to be repeatedly removed. When told to stop he just laughs and does it again. I use to be able to get him to give me eye contact and tell him what he needed to do or stop doing and now it is almost impossible to get him to hold still long enough to talk to. At first I just thought he was "all boy" now I am thinking it is more than that. He turns everything into a weapon and has started thinking it is o.k. to hit. I just doesn't know what is age appropriate and what is a warning sign at this age. I thought this site would help with him and my dd who is going through a rough time with her ADHD. I did find a few links and posts that I feel will help with her. I just need to have more patients and get a better game plan with her. I have started requiring that she make sticky notes of things to do. She still has such a hard time staying on task and gets so mad when I remind her. Then I get mad and we are yelling at each other. This is not a productive way of handling it. I hope it clicks with her that it is not o.k. to just use her ADHD as an excuse.

[jj]

Welcome Momof2!

Your son is still so young I'm not sure if that isn't just being a 3 year old, a stubborn 3 year old at that. LOL However, some of the "animal behavior" sounds very familiar except it was with my niece at 8 and 9 years old. She is/was DX'd ADHD. She would be an animal (horse, cat, dog) and it would go on for a few weeks, then she'd switch animals. She also would not stop and would think it was funny when we request she stop. I don't know if they just don't know when enough is enough or what. She did finally grow out of that phase. I also had a step-grand niece at the age of 4 who was a cat for the longest time and she is not ADHD.

I think the "not being able to hold still" is a bit concerning but again, at 3 they are little energizer bunnies. I think you are in a good place right now knowing there possibly may be more going and you can be ready to get him the help he needs early, if that is the case.

I know that isn't much help. I'm a bit brain weary tonight.

Again, welcome to the site.

[charliegirl]

Have you asked your son's teacher what she suggests you should do at this point? Some kids go through their terrible 2s when they are 3. Did your son go through them already or is it possible he is just hitting that stage now? I just don't see how they can diagnose a child that young unless there are really severe behaviors. Of course I'm not a psych or an expert but I'm a mother and a grandmother, and I know kids with no disabilities or issues can vary widely in their behavior at that age.

Do you have an IEP or 504 for your daughter in school? Its very possible she needs one of them. That would enable her to have the help she needs, including organization. Executive functioning is a major problem with ADHD and there are ways she can be helped to keep track of her school work, etc, even as she is learning.

[katiekat]

[puzzled]

Though this behavior may be indicative of ADHD, it is also typical of a 3 year old. I taught preschool for 7 years, and I am in college as well full time to get my Early Childhood Education Degree.

Of course, we teachers would dearly LOVE all the children to sit and be still when appropriate, the cold, hard truth is that sometimes we encounter a child that does not get with the program, LOL.

I think that I would take a deep breath, try to get some consistant discipline system in place both at home and at school, and keep a close eye on things.

Both my boys used to turn everything into a weapon at that age, and one is ADHd (inattentive), one is not.

I, too, understand your concern about getting him the help he needs if and when he is diagnosed, but age 3 is quite young. My oldest daughter is also ADHD inattentive, and we never knew while she was in school, we simply thought she did not care. She was dx as an adult, and was instrumental in her baby brother getting the help he needed.

[lcdc1]

Hey, welcome and it sounds like real good advice to you so far!! I would also add to just monitor the situation for now and make sure he is on track developmentally. As he gets older and in elementary school, if he is ADD, the signs should become more obvious. I think for my oldest with an LD, I also waited a long time, I did not address it until 7th grade when I knew about it in 5th!!

But, as young as your boy is, just monitor it to see if it interferes with the developmental stages kids his age should be at. It sounds like you are an involved parent, so I bet you will know one way or the other.