Charter school??....or not???

[misty]

As most of you know, Shannon has been attending Cyber School these past 2 years. She's doing alright but I'm concerned about a few things. First of all, I find I have to constantly hound her to finish assignments, get up, do her classes, etc. I was trying to let her do all that on her own until I found out a few weeks ago that she hadn't done a single math assignment! The school provided a tutor who got her caught up but she was so burnt out from doing hours of math all day that now she's getting behind in everything else. Plus she had to do her Scranton tests, which took another day away from regular classes.

The other concern I have is that she's 15 & does nothing but sit in the house all day playing computer games & watching TV. She has no friends to hang out with, isn't interested in joining any clubs or classes & she stays up until all hours of the night. If I make her go to bed, she can't sleep. Probably part of the problem stems from inactivity. She's in High school! She should be out at ball games, dances, etc. I feel like she's missing out.

Ok, so I decided to put her in the lottery for our local charter school. I know kids who go there so I did my homework first & it is by all accounts an awesome school. They are very big on respect & anti-bullying. They have a challenging curriculum. Last night was the lottery drawing & Shannon was accepted! Now comes the hard part. Telling Shannon & getting her to agree to go without a huge hassle. The thing is she LIKES cyber school. Mostly because she can stay in her pajamas & get up later. SHE sees no problem with staying in the house at all times. I know the final decision is mine, as the parent, but I'd like to find a way to get her to agree. My girl is like a dog with a bone, tenacious as they come & this could turn out to make my life miserable until the start of next school year if she decides that no way does she want to attend charter school.

Any ideas?

[misty]

Well....we talked with her & she's pretty set against it, but she is willing to keep an open mind, look at the school & the website & talk to some kids that go there before stating that she'll no way go there herself. Thats more than I expected. Whew!

[bugsmom]

Misty, I soooooo know what your going through right now it's not even funny.

I don't know if I really have any sound advise, but here it goes. You know Shannon best. You know her strengths, her weaknesses, who she really is. But, you also have dreams for her that she may not neccessarly be able to acheive without you making decisions for her...that's what we're for. If you truly feel she's not on the path you want her to be on because of the cyber schooling, send her back to school. She might kick and scream and hate you forever, but that's ok. I know that might sound harsh, but I'm dealing with the same issues and I finally had to come to the conclusion that I know what is best for Josh at this time. He's going to have his whole life to make important decisions, but for now, its up to me.

With that being said, I truly believe that there is a "season" for everything we do. When Shannon and Josh started homeschooling, it was the best thing for that "season". With all that you guys have been through in the past year and a half, the cyberschooling was the thing to do. But now that Shannon is getting older, you see the benefits of being back in school and being with her peers. If you feel that the cyberschooling is not benefiting her, its time to make a change. Change is so hard for our kids, I know, but they have to learn that change is a BIG part of life and learn to roll with it.

If you guys decide to stick with the Cyber School, you might want to start to schedule a more regular day for her. Make her start by 10:00 am (or whatever time), make it manditory she joins one group/activity through the cyber school, just have some kind of a regular routine. I know that was tough for Josh, but I insisted he join a homeschool group and participate in outings or the homeschooling was going to stop. He's now in a really cooling fencing group, and he loves it...but went kicking and screaming at first.

I think its great that you put her in the lottery for the charter school and got picked! Even it you choose not to send her, your ahead of the game. I know what you mean when you feel like their missing out somehow. Although Josh has thrived accademically, I really think he misses the day to day interactions of his peers. He still hangs out with his bestfriend and some kids from school, but its just not the same. With that being said, I don't think traditional school is for everyone, especially our kids. It scares me to death that we might be right back where we started 3 years ago with the anxiety and everything else.

Misty, I would just take some time and really think about what you and Bill want to do and not even say anything to Shannon until you decide. We actually have it a little easier because the plan has ALWAYS been that he would go back to school when high school arrived. Gosh, it is hard isn't it?

[misty]

Yes! It IS hard! When we talked to her today we did tell her we'd consider her opinion & input, but told her she really needs to have an open mind & think about the benefits of being in a school setting again. We also told her that if she really ends up wanting to stay in cyber school, then next year she will have all virtual classes & no more self paced ones. She really does need the routine instead of just doing classes when she wants. That will at least stop me from needing to constantly nag her to do this class or that.

I've learned that with Shannon we need to plant the seed & then stand back & hope it grows. If we force the process, she just digs her heels in even deeper. If we let her think about it, occasionally "fertilizing" her with little bits of info, she sometimes will start to love the idea & I'd prefer if she went into this happily.

[bugsmom]

Misty, I swear we have the same child! Your planting the seed statement is my kid to a tee! That's why we told him all along that homeschooling high school was not an option, even though if we feel its best, we will.

We're touring a local charter school next week. They're having an open house and Josh is already groaning about it. We have two other private high schools we're looking at in the next month. This whole thing is starting to make me feel a lot of anxiety, but I have to suck it up too!

At lease Shannon is keeping an open mind...its all you can ask for. ;D

[charliegirl]

Something you can plant is the idea that if she tries it and it really doesn't work out she can go back to homeschooling. I would make her try it for at least 1/2 a year so she has time to adjust. Hopefully she will meet new friends and not hate it by then.

[misty]

Barb, are you reading my mind? LOL Thats exactly what we talked about last night. I told her that Cyber school will still be there & if after 6 months she truly hates Propel, she can always switch back. I also talked to a friend of mine that used to work for that school. She worked with younger kids in the special ed dept, but she is close to a couple HS teachers there & she said the HS classes are completely project based. They do not send homework home & they do almost everything as hands on projects. They also go on a ton of field trips. Shannon really likes the idea of working like that. I think she's decided to give it a try.

[jj]

It sounds like you have it all worked out and that charter school sounds good. I think you are making all the right decisions here. It is important she be with her peers again and to see how she fairs in the some-what traditional school setting (although this school may not be exactly traditional) now that she had a chance to mature a bit more. If it turns out it still isn't for her, at least you'll know you tried and not do the "maybe I should have" thing.

Now I'm anxious for the next school year to come to see how she does.

[jill]

I wish you the best with the school. It is too bad she will not get into something else like what Annette does dance or tae kwon do for they are good physical releases. As for the charter school what you have is the fear of the unknown. As for math Annette hates math too.