Post by Tigger on Feb 12, 2010 14:35:53 GMT -5
Why we love children
!>> 1) NUDITY>
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a> woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark> naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from > the> back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'>>
2) OPINIONS> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from> his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not> necessarily those of his parents .
'>> 3) KETCHUP> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her> struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the> phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's> hitting the bottle.
'>> 4) MORE NUDITY>> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker> room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies > grabbing> towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then> asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?
'>> 5) POLICE # 1> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my> uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing> the report My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.> Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as> she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>> 6) POLICE # 2> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, > and> I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' > he> asked.> 'It sure is,' I replied.> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.> Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
>> 7) ELDERLY> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly > shut-ins,> I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her > staring> at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the> inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The > tooth> fairy will never believe this!
'>> 8) DRESS-UP> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'> 'And why not, darling?'> 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
>> 9) DEATH> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister > heard> the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.> Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small > box> and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the> deceased.> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always> said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole > he> goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
>> 10) SCHOOL> A little girl had just finished her first week of school.. 'I'm just > wasting> my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they> won't let me talk!
'>> 11) BIBLE> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered> through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible He picked> up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been> pressed in between the pages.> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.> 'What have you got there, dear?'> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's> Adam's underwear!'>> NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT
!>> 1) NUDITY>
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a> woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark> naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from > the> back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'>>
2) OPINIONS> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from> his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not> necessarily those of his parents .
'>> 3) KETCHUP> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her> struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the> phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's> hitting the bottle.
'>> 4) MORE NUDITY>> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker> room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies > grabbing> towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then> asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?
'>> 5) POLICE # 1> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my> uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing> the report My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.> Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as> she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>> 6) POLICE # 2> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, > and> I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' > he> asked.> 'It sure is,' I replied.> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.> Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
>> 7) ELDERLY> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly > shut-ins,> I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her > staring> at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the> inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The > tooth> fairy will never believe this!
'>> 8) DRESS-UP> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'> 'And why not, darling?'> 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
>> 9) DEATH> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister > heard> the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.> Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small > box> and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the> deceased.> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always> said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole > he> goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
>> 10) SCHOOL> A little girl had just finished her first week of school.. 'I'm just > wasting> my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they> won't let me talk!
'>> 11) BIBLE> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered> through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible He picked> up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been> pressed in between the pages.> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.> 'What have you got there, dear?'> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's> Adam's underwear!'>> NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT
