When to have the talk?

[jill]

Was not sure which section to place this but I am at crossroads. Annette will be starting Middle School come fall and will be 11 in November and I do not want her totally naive with others more street wise. I tried to talk to her about the birds and the bees and stopped not sure how to go about it. To help I did order a book online however it is geared towards the 14-15 year old way above her level. I need the basics 1 2 3. I may run to borders this weekend or next.

Now for another issue Annette is Literal Girl so how it is presented makes a difference. An example she was a Mc Donalds junkie until her father said he read an article that they may be getting their chicken from China and how horrible it will be so she has not eaten there in 6 months. She is that Literal. What is good is she is not into boys yet she thinks kissing is dis-custing and cannot stand body hair she freaks at her father. She told me she wants a husband with no chest and back hair. She thinks body hair is gross LOL. The Literal part may come in handy on some things I want her to be a prude. I do have another fear of the subject when Annette really likes something she gets obsessed with it until it fades I have worries of her making a bad choices on an impulse. Why does this have to be so hard.



I want it on record I do not want a TEENAGER! can she wake up one day and be 18? Any ideas welcome.

[charliegirl]

I'd start now.

Since I started talking to my kids when they were very small we never had to have a formal talk. They were free to ask questions whenever they had them so I'm not sure how to bring it up. I do think I'd watch for opportunities to introduce aspects concerning love and relationships. Hopefully that will help her feel comfortable enough to ask questions.

[misty]

I've done the same thing CG has. Shannon & I have ongoing discussions since she was small. She is not afraid to ask anything & we've always been very open & honest with her. I do commiserate with you on the obsessive thing. Shannon is the same way. Thankfully she's also a bit more sheltered having been home schooled for the past couple of years. I'm waiting to see what happens in the new school next year when she has sudden access to boys!

[bugsmom]

I agree with the girls...it's time. We also started very young, but took it slow. Mine was pretty immature for his age, so some things I held off on for longer. When he started coming home with the wrong information from the neighborhood kids, we told him everything. It went much easier than I expected. Now, at 14, we have NO boundries. I have to laugh about how open we are. I couldn't even imagine having some of the conversations we have with my parents at that age. Kids these days have to be so much more prepared then we ever had to be.

With Net going to middle school, its a must. Middle schoolers are so advanced these days. Just take it slow and feel her out. My son is very obsessed with these types of things also, but he did ok. Everything for him is either black or white...no in between. I think you'll be suprised what Annette may already know. Your a great mom, I think you'll do just fine.

[jill]

Thanks why does it have to be so hard. The reason I did not start earlier is we have no secrets in the house she shares everything to anyone who will listen. I have been working on her with the TMI stuff for over a year and she still blurts everything out that I keep secrets from her to save embarrassment later. I was afraid she would go to her teacher or someone and talk about it blurting things out.

I am going to Borders to look for a book this weekend for the one I got is for a 14 and up.

[jill]

I did it! I also got a used book online that is Christian based I plan to read with her once school ends and we have more time.

[bugsmom]

So...how did it go? We need details...lol.

[katiekat]

Joseph learned all about that in health class in 6th grade. He was more than happy to share it with us complete with diagrams.