|
|
Post by katiekat on May 30, 2010 9:54:51 GMT -5
Sean's teacher mentioned at his IEP that one of his biggest problems in class is his dependance on others. This is also true at home-it is a HUGE problem. I am so tired of raising a toddler who is almost 10. We must remind Sean to do if the most basic of tasks or they don't get done. He wont take a shower, brush his teeth,get dressed, come downstairs to eat breakfast, put his shoes on, or even wash his glasses (which will be so filthy he cant possible see out of them) without being told. I am making yet another attempt to fix this. I wrote a note telling him what time he needs to do things. It is not a chart, we dont check anything off, no stickers, no reward so this way it wont become an obsession. I read it to him once, had him read it back to me to make sure he understood. We will not remind him of these things and if he does not complete them he will just have to suffer the natural consequences. If you "forgot" to get your snack at the scheduled time....you dont get one. You didnt brush your teeth in the morning...your breath will stink you left your lunch on the counter for the 500th time...we're not bringing it up to school later. I am hoping this will help as I think I've tried everything else.
|
|
|
|
Post by misty on May 30, 2010 11:09:27 GMT -5
It does work......but don't expect fast results. Shannon is somewhat like that. I used to give her a dry erase board listing her morning ( or evening or get ready to go out) to do list. It worked for awhile. But just having to live with the consequences of having forgotten something worked best in the end. Even now as a teen we are still working on things. Her latest is bringing dishes down from her room. I let her eat snacks up there & take drinks up but glasses & dishes never came back. After a few months of not letting her have the next drink or snack until the 1st set of dishes came back, I noticed this week that she has started finally remembering. She finally got sick of being refused food & having to go back up & get her dishes. LOL.
|
|
|
|
Post by charliegirl on May 30, 2010 11:24:41 GMT -5
Many of us have gone through the same thing with our kids. Now that Jon has become a teen he is doing much better with the personal hygiene but he still needs to be reminded about a lot of things.
I really believe it is more a by product of the easy distract-ability. I still have to fight it on a daily basis myself. I have my routines for many things and if anything interrupts them, its very easy for me to get "lost". I then have to figure out where I got side tracked and get back on track.
Other than helping him create routines, I don't know what to suggest.
|
|
|
|
Post by misty on May 30, 2010 12:15:09 GMT -5
You know, CG, I never thought of it as a by product of distractibility...just as an annoyance. LOL. Shannon also has severe problems being aware of her surroundings. The other day I needed the vacuum & I knew she had borrowed it & never brought it back. I asked her to bring it down & she swore she didn't have it. I went up & it was right in the middle of her room. When I pointed it out she said, "Oh I didn't see it." How could she not be aware of an upright vacuum cleaner in a spot that she had to walk by it every time she came & went??? I'll never get it.
|
|
|
|
Post by charliegirl on May 30, 2010 13:26:52 GMT -5
Its just there. I can't explain it but thats the way it is for us. I actually think that is why so many adhders are either messies or neat freaks.
If we can have everything in place, thats great but once the clutter starts to build up, we don't really notice it since it becomes a part of the environment and so many other newer things are bombarding us.
Once we do notice it, we can't focus clearly enough to see what should be done to get order back. If we start and manage to hyper focus, then it becomes spotless easily.
Its either/or for us. We just live in the middle of before and after but don't see how we got here or how to progress from where we are like you do.
|
|
|
|
Post by katiekat on May 31, 2010 12:38:32 GMT -5
I did forget to add that I allowed Sean to keep the note and pinned it to his bulletin board in his room. It is hard for me to bite my tounge and let the natural consequence happen I have noticed lol. He was walking out the door with my husband for school and I saw that he did not have his lunch so I said "don't forget your lunch." And my husband shot me a look...and then I remembered. It has become second nature for me. I am hoping that eventually just doing these things will becoome second nature to him.
|
|
|
|
Post by jill on May 31, 2010 13:09:43 GMT -5
I have the same problem and when I say it no one really understands it and assume I spoil her. If I do not keep on top of her nothing gets done and I am exhausted. I too am working on her becoming more independent.
|
|
|
|
Post by jj on Jun 6, 2010 3:28:21 GMT -5
I really believe it is more a by product of the easy distract-ability. I still have to fight it on a daily basis myself. I have my routines for many things and if anything interrupts them, its very easy for me to get "lost". I then have to figure out where I got side tracked and get back on track. That is me to a tee. Which is why I hate anyone in the kitchen with me while I'm cooking and hate disruptions when I'm in the middle of doing things. Why because the food will end up burnt or I'll totally forget what the heck I was doing before. Misty, I had a rotf moment when you told about the vacuum cleaner. That is so funny! So how is it going KK? Any progress? I know it has to be super hard to bite your tongue when you see he is forgetting things. |
|
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny.
