I am Horrified and shocked

[jill]

Annette came home from riding her bike and her cell phone clip was broken and she said there was a 1 year old pulling at her shorts and that the parents told him to do so. She said they were being mean to her and that she punched someone but not hard in "defense". I set out and went accross the street to the park and noticed all teenagers and she pointed to them so I said to Annette they are most likely babysitting. I went up to them friendly and asked them straight out what had happened and shared with them my kids story did not make a whole lot of sense. Well I was informed she was getting in their way and said to them "do you want a piece of me" and when I asked Annette if she did that she actually looked at me and said she did. At that point Annette did apologize and I thanked them for letting me know. Annette then told me on the way back from the park that the boy she punched lightly was walking away when she did it. Again I was horrified and shocked. She told me they called her a retard and swore at her which she is lucky that was all. I am wondering if the name stuff is what triggered her and if so she needs to learn to ignore and walk away.

I just do not know and am blown away. As it sits she is grounded no bike or park especially on her own, no pool. I am also tomorrow when we get to tae kwon do sending her in the instructors office to tell him with me what she did. She did break down in tears by the way over that for she knows he may take her belt away which in their world is shameful and I think he should. I am hoping by keeping her away from the neighborhood awhile things blow over and they forget about her. Any advice welcome for my girl has never done anything like this before.

[jj]

Oh gosh. There is a part of me that is tugging saying don't take away what she is so proud of...her belt. And I'm not so sure what she said is that awful considering what I hear from kids anymore. Especially, if they were calling her a retard and cussing at her.

I'm just not sure what to say since young teens will lie to cover up what they did. For sure she needs to suffer some consequence for what she owned up to but she also needs credit for owning up to it, as well.

I guess I"m think the punishment may not have to be super tough but if anything like this happened again then very tough punishment would be in order.

I don't really know what is best Jill. It is hard to know since I wasn't there to gage if the teens were lying or what or if your daughter really felt bad for what she did or was she feeling bad because she realized she may get consequences. Hmmmm.

[charliegirl]

That is a really tough situation. Was she reacting to taunts or did she start it? That would make a big difference on how tough I was on her.

Do you think she will be more willing to talk about what happened and how it occurred tomorrow when things aren't quite so tense? If she will, it might help you figure out what to do to help her learn to get along with others.

[jill]

I am convinced they messed with her first and got her upset. Today I did not take her belt but she did have a talk with her instructor at tae kwon do and it was cute that she was afraid to enter his office it is a respect thing and all the kids hate to disappoint him. All he did was talk to her about it and safety and he told her when people get mad they say and do things they would not ordinarily do and gave her ideas how to better handle things next time. After the talk he shook her hand and sent her out to join the class. Annette in class holds a happy smile the whole time even while doing push ups and sit ups.

[charliegirl]

I think I love that man!

[sapphyre]

Jill, is Annette still 9? (Your signature). I'm guessing she's older if she's out by herself, but I could be wrong.

Just thinking apparently hormones can make some people very moody. Could she be going into early puberty? There's some info on this in the Understanding Girls with ADHD book, I think? I'm sure I read it somewhere.

[jill]

oops I need to change it and in November she will be 11