My new Dilema

[jill]

One of Annette's friends she has befriended the good thing is the bullies leave her alone when she is present. The problem I am finding is the 1x they were together and when I pick up my child the girl I am finding she tends to try hanging with me more (am I the cool mom?). Annette shared with her she had ADHD against my advisement I even tried interrupting which did not work the girl had stated she too had it. The jury is still out. I have picked up her family appears dis-functional and she sees how I am with Annette and wants to come over now. Annette had a meltdown last night when I said no. I had food shopping and wanted to relax work has been extremely stressful as of late and I cried on Tuesday under pressure. Again I get the feeling whenever I am present the girl wants my attention and to be my friend more another why no to last night wanted to relax not entertain.

What to do? I feel bad for her in a sense for her family appears dis-functional and I do appreciate her being Annette's protector. I am afraid to have her over for I do not know that much about her for example is she a clepto or anything and my biggest fear is she will be by my side more than Annette's. Ideas welcome

[jj]

I don't think you should dismiss your intuition. I would say test the waters very slowly and maybe let Annettes new friend over for a very short period of time and go from there.

[misty]

When Shannon was small we had a neighbor who was a single dad raising a daughter. The girls were the same age & became friends. This girl craved the mother daughter connection as she never had a mom present in her life. I used to include her in some mother daughter activities with Shannon & I (like crafts, shopping, playing games, etc). As long as she got some of that attention she was content to just go & play with Shannon the rest of the time. I used to baby sit her so she was at our house a lot.

[jill]

What also scares me is one of our friends works in the school as the lunch lady and she told us Annette's new friends are the bad kids then you have sweet Annette in the mix. They are the only ones befriending her. I am going to allow the girl over her mom is a single mom my thing what to do about her hanging by me not Annette. I will be doing a lot of re-direction. When Annette is busy I need me time. Thanks life.

[jill]

I can share there are two of the girls in her group that are okay. I met one of the mothers and was satisfied and Annette and her friend spent all Sunday together last week. We will be getting our annual Darien Lake tickets next weekend and Annette will be taking the good friend.