|
|
Post by unicorn on Jul 2, 2011 21:40:23 GMT -5
I am having such issues with Tiff. She has become so defiant. Anything I plan she has an absolute fit about. I have lost money I spent, get so angry I could spit nails. I have been trying to let her stay home this summer. A - because I can't afford camp. B - none of her friends are going. C - I was trying to trust her. D - she has a volunteer job this summer and her regular baby sitting job. Part of the deal was to leave chores for her to do when she gets up. Nothing too hard, like taking out trash, picking up dirty clothes, water gardens, etc. If she does one of these things, she will do all 7-10. The house is a mess with whatever she has left behind. It takes me about an hour after working all day to clean up after her before I can start on dinner. She won't take her medicine, which is making it worse.
For example tonight, it is now 10:36. We are going to Hershey Park tomorrow, we have to leave by 8. I am tired now, she won't come home. I have called, I have screamed. I am about ready to go up street, and pull her by her hair down here.
There is no respect.
So is this becuase it is just her and I now? Is it because she will be 13 in a few days? Is it lack of meds? Or all of the above?
I feel like I am going to have a breakdown.
Talk to me, what do you suggest.
|
|
|
|
Post by jj on Jul 3, 2011 0:38:33 GMT -5
I would be doing just that and dragging her home. Couldn't you have talked to the parents of where ever she was at and told them she needs to come home?
I'm so sorry Uni. I have a feeling it could be one or all of those things. That age is a rough age for parents. Teens think everything is about them and what they want and the world will come to an end if they don't get their way.
I just don't know what to tell you but my heart goes out to you. I know it is so hard to raise a child by yourself. Hugs to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by misty on Jul 3, 2011 8:28:14 GMT -5
I t6hink the main reason for the defiance is that she's almost 13. That was Shannon's worst age & yeah, she constantly pushed my buttons. It certainly has to be harder for you because you have no one to help with discipline, bounce things off of, & give you a break. The upside is, that you laid a good foundation & in a couple years her common sense will kick in & you'll get her back. Shannon turned back into a normal human being at 16.
What I did is when Shannon broke a rule, the next time she didn't get to do that activity. If I asked her to do something & she refused (like clean her room or wash the dishes) then she got to go nowhere & do nothing until it was done. I tried not to nag (not always succeeding..lol). I just told her straight out you do this & THEN you can do what you had planned. You don't do it, you cancel your plans & stay in. Oh she was a stubborn one & there were quite a few times she missed out on things just because she refused to do something that would've only taken her 10 minutes & she would throw a fit, but eventually she realized she was cutting off her nose to spite her face & things got better. Its kind of like having a 2 year old again, except they are bigger, smarter, & way louder!
Hang in there! There is a light at the end of this tunnel.
|
|
|
|
Post by aimee8305 on Jul 3, 2011 10:58:42 GMT -5
Oh wow! Wish I could help...my lil man is only 5...But I see this coming when he hits his teen yrs. oh boy...
Good luck
|
|
|
|
Post by bugsmom on Jul 8, 2011 9:42:40 GMT -5
Uni, I'm afraid this is just the beginning...sorry  I found 12 and 13 unbearable with the defiance. I know it's thier normal teen-hormonal stuff, but with our kids who have a hard time anyway, it's just worse. I agree with Misty. You need to be tough as nails and stand your ground. I felt like the meanest mom in the world at the time, but you have to do it. I would take away day trips, computer, time with friends...anything that was important to him. We actually wrote out steps that would be taken if he was defiant or nasty and posted them on the fridge. That way he knew the expectation, AND the consequence that would come from it. You would think at that age they would realize it, but Josh always acted so surprised when we punished him...lol. He needed it in writing...lol. 14 was a little better, and at 15 I feel like we've turned a small corner. I am still waiting for my sweet boy to come back...lol. I even told him that the other day. I see glimpses of him everday...lol. Hang in there...you've got some time to go yet. Wish I could make it go faster for you...(((((Hugs))))> |
|
|
|
Post by katiekat on Jul 8, 2011 15:33:02 GMT -5
Wow you guys are scaring me lol, Sean is only 10, and I can't even imagine the defiance getting much worse!
|
|
|
|
Post by jill on Jul 16, 2011 9:05:52 GMT -5
I am coming close and yes the defiance has begun at age 11 she will be 12 in November. Annette herself has moody days too. The good news sort of is I am talking to her friends mothers and the same deals in there homes as well as Annette so I can't blame ODD or ADHD matter fact from what her friends mother shared Annette is better. As for medications I stopped Annette's end of school year and she is doing awesome without. School ended for her June 17.
What I would do is get a self help book on teenage years and discipline then talk to your psychologist.
|
|
