When do they get it?

[unicorn]

So Tiff is now 13. And still the constant reminders are getting old. For example, shouldn't she remember to flush the toilet, brush her teeth, empty her lunch box everyday, etc. by now? It drives me bonkers. When I get home from work each day it takes up to an hour to pick up from what she has tossed since she got home from school. Dirty clothes on top of the hamper lid. Just lift the lid and put them in there. Not doing her 3 chores I leave for her. Giving her an allowance hasn't helped, punishment doesn't help. Letting her stuff pile up doesn't help. All I get is "sorry." I don't want sorry anymore, I just want a little help. You know. It is just her and I, so this would make it so I don't have to work 8-10 hours at work and so many more hours at home.

Do anyone else still have these issues and what do you do about it?

[misty]

Well, mine's 17 & she still doesn't get it! Seriously, I don't know how she'll ever make it when she moves out! A few things I have done that did help (although not completely erase) this behavior:

when she forgets dishes in her room & they get all crusty, SHE has to wash them.

When she forgets to flush, I make HER clean the toilet.

When clothes don't make it to the baskets, they don't get washed.

After awhile, she realized I wasn't kidding & she started remembering a bit more often, but it's still an uphill battle.

[unicorn]

Thanks Misty. I worry too how they will be able to do it when they are on their own.

I will try your methods. That is the hard part. Leaving the mess around.

[jill]

Annette will be 12 next week and I do have the same deal along with for homework to get done I have to Still sit at the table with her to keep her on task and deal with the occasional whining and complaining I get overwhelmed too. When she gets her work done in school at the boys and girls club I am free however not every day. My focus is the school work I want her to know what she has to do and just do it without me asking and sitting by her. As for the helping same deal leaves her clothes where it drops. I too worry how she will be if she lived on her own. I will try your idea Misty.

[katiekat]

Yes I still have the same issues with Sean at 11 and yes it drives me crazy. He cannot remember to put dishes in dishwasher, flush toilet, take a shower, brush his teeth, wash his glasses (this one I dont get because I can see they are filthy how cant he?!) or do 1 chore once a week which is bringing the trashcans up. We have tried everything as well and nothing works. Misty, I refuse to pick clothes off the floor anymore too and if they're not in the hamper they dont get washed. But he doesnt seem to care. It had gotten very old at this point, still dealing with issues of a 4 year old.