Refusing help if LD...This

[bugsmom]

This question is for those of you with children that have an LD and get support at school...

Next week Josh has an appointment with his psychaitrist. We are going to begin to schedule some testing to be done, in which we are focasing on LD's. I know for sure that he has a writing LD, and I am almost certain he also has a reading one too. Anyway, he is very angry that we are doing this testing. He has not had any formal testing since he was 7 years old and he is now 10 1/2 years old. Although he has had a lot of therapy in the last year and half due to anxiety, he is just done with dealing with it all. He told me yesterday that I am just trying to find something else wrong with him and that he doesn't have an LD. Then he goes on to tell me that even if he does have an LD he will refuse to go down to the Learning Assistant Room because all the kids make fun of the kids that have to go there. Then he throws in the excuse that he would miss too much class time and doesn't want to get behind by leaving the classroom. Pretty smart little cookie I would say!

Anyway, what I want to know is...how did your children react to getting help out of the classroom? How did you handle it?

Josh is finally having a good year after a disasterous 4th grade year. I think he just wants to be a normal kid. But I am so worried about his writing and reading comprehension I don't know what to do. My husband is dyslexic and had to use the learning resource room over 30 years ago and tried to explain to him that it would only help him and he still says he would refuse to go. I think deep down he really knows that he struggles and has a problem.

Any suggestions would be great. Thanks!

[lillian]

Bless his heart! I'm sorry to ask such a personal question, but can you afford private tutoring? If he's dyslexic, and there's a strong likelihood with your husband's being dyslexic, private Orton-Gillingham tutoring may be a much better choice, than a resource classroom, and none of your son's classmates would have to know.

Suggested reading: The Secret Life of the Dyslexic Child, by Robert Frank.

[misty]

bugsmom said:

This question is for those of you with children that have an LD and get support at school...


Anyway, what I want to know is...how did your children react to getting help out of the classroom? How did you handle it?

My daughter was in a private school through 4th grade, so she didn't start going to the Learning support center until 5th grade herself. The funny thing is, she never expressed any worry about being seen as different or being made fun of...but I did. I'd ask her questions subtly trying to find out if she felt different or stupid for having to go there. Finally she caught on & just told me straight out that she loves going there & has friends that go too & that no one cares who goes or doesn't go.

When we were presenting the plan to her, we always told her that she needed to go to the LS center because she needed taught in a different way & the LS teachers knew different ways to teach it so she could learn it. She accepted that & once she saw that she was really "getting" it instead of just muddling through & feeling lost, she felt even better about it.

As for missing class time, she's only taken out of her regular class for the subjects she's LD in. So she misses the regular math class, but gets math at the LS center, same with spelling, but she stays in her regular room for science, social studies & reading with the rest of her class.

I hope that helps a bit.

[bugsmom]

Lillian and Misty...thanks for your quick replies!

As to being able to afford private tutoring...I can always find a way if need be. If I have to sacrifice other things, I will. Do you know what the cost of this type of tutoring is? I would much rather take that route than subject him to any more stress dealing with school. Josh goes to a very small private school and everyone knows everybody's bussiness. He cracked me up, he sat down last night and named all the kids that go to Learning Assistance. I couldn't believe it, every kid from 1st to 8th grade! So I guess I understand his resistance. I guess if he went to public school there would be a lot more kids needing the help and he might feel more secure about it...I don't know. I just can't watch his writing skills get worse and worse. He wrote more clearly, and with the proper punctuation, in 2nd grade!

Lillian, is the Orton-Gillingham program a widely used program? Will I be able to find someone/or a center easily?

[charliegirl]

In some schools, especially smaller schools, the kids do tease kids they perceive as different. Even if the staff is watching for it, there are ways that kids can make the others miserable. A name whispered under the breath is devestating to a child, so Josh does have a valid concern.

Maybe you can assure him that once the testing is completed, you will do everything you can to see that he gets the help he needs without having to resort to being pulled from classes. If he has Irlens syndrome, he may be able to just put a colored film over his reading material. You may even be able to find out a way to help him yourself at home. There are accomodations he could get that would enable him to do his writing assignments at home with a scribe or at a keyboard. That writing program Jfla has been telling us about may work for him. There may be options, but until he is tested its impossible to know what they would be.

The fact that he is getting good grades and is willing to work hard is in his favor. He may have options that a kid who fights homework wouldn't have.

[lisacap]

Christian is in a small private school as well, with only 220 in the whol building K1-8th, he only has 15 kids in his class, he also needed to go to the resource room for math, I found it didn't help much because he needed more one on one in some of the areas of math, where it is a private school, it is not really a learning disabilty room, it is basically a computer program called Title One, I did make him go in 3rd grade, and he kept coming home telling me what a great time he was having, and that he completed another chapter, so I thought it was great until the tests came and he failed continuoulsy, The title one program allowed them to read the questions and then answer and guess until they were right...so I pulled him from it....he did ok with the teachers help up until this year in math 6th grade, and I ended up getting him a private tutor, you can look around, he is being tutured by his 5th grade teacher at her home, I pay 20.00 an hour, she sees him on Mondays when they start the new chapter, and one other day what ever it may be but is always the day before a test...look around the school , one of the teachers may be willing to tutor him at your home or theirs with out anyone else knowing.

I just want to add, where he is in a small private school, make sure your resource room is going to be able to help him, not just do a computer program, I know Christian didn't like leaving the class because the program wasn't set up so that he was there during math, while everyone else was in class having math...
sorry this may sound a little ADDish, med's wore off pretty quick tonight..LOL

[lillian]

Oh, bugsmom!!! I can't believe you said that about your son's handwriting regressing. I'm preparing for my son's annual ARD, and I was sorting some old papers today, which included some of my son's handwriting samples from third grade. My son's print was better at the beginning of third grade, then it is today, by a loooooong shot. When my son came to live with us right before third grade, he could not tie his shoe laces, didn't know the difference between left and right, could not sound out words, had an articulation disorder, and closed one eye to "read," if that's what you want to call it. And, I thought, uh oh, I think this one has dyslexia, but you know what was the "uh huh" moment for me? When he couldn't acquire cursive handwriting, and, as he was trying to, his print desentigrated. By the time he started 4th grade, he was writing print in one long sentence with no breaks in his words and no punctuation. I realized, he once had written this way, and it took a tremendous amount of concentration not to. When he began to acquire cursive, then he began to forget his print. It broke his concentration, if you will. Interesting. Oh, well.

Orton-Gillingham is THE remediation for children with dyslexia. It has fifty years of research backing it up. That's not to say that it works for all dyslexics, but it works for such a vast majority of them that it absolutely must be tried, in my opinion. For a child who is truly dyslexic, the program should be two-to-three years. I stopped after one year with my son, and I shouldn't have. He's beginning it again next year. I will warn you that the kids usually hate it, as my son did, thus the reason we stopped. I am seriously considering going to San Francisco this summer to be trained by Susan Barton and being my son's OG tutor next year. I'm hoping he can handle it better with my teaching him two-to-three times a week, at a time of his choice. You can visit Susan Barton's site and request a list of OG tutors in your area. This is the best dyslexia site you will find. If you have a chance, watch some of the videos, particularly the one about symptoms. It's over an hour but well worth the time it takes to watch it:

www.dys-add.com/

[laurapalmer]

Thanks Lillian for that website!!!! OMG, I think my oldest may have dyslexia. She will be tested by our psychologist on the 20th, so I guess we'll find out. She is getting D's & F's this marking period on her report card. She can do the hardest math in her head, but then when it comes to vocabulary words or history, she says she doesn;t understand. Thanks I learned something new tonight!!!!!

[bugsmom]

Lillian...thanks soooo much for the website information. It has truly opened my eyes. I can see that I really need to jump on top of these issues NOW! Josh has every single symtom of dysgrapia...EVERY SINGLE ONE! I could kick myself for waiting so long to test him for LD's. It's just that we've been working so hard on behavior and getting that in-check that I kinda let this slip by. To tell you the truth...the writing difficulties really didn't start until last year. But because 4th grade was such a hard year emotionally for him, I just let these little concerns slide by.

It's funny, because I printed out all 17 pages of symptoms and had my husband read it (he's dyslexic) and he was shocked on how on target they were. He recongnized himself all over that list and he's 41 years old. When he was young they said he was dyslexic but really didn't do too much to help him. I'm amazed that he was able to graduate high school. I just want so much more for Josh.

As I sit here, I wonder if all the frustration Josh displays daily is due to an LD or ADHD. I wonder if all the times he's been in trouble at school, is him just trying to avoid doing work that is hard for him to grasp? I'm not saying he's not ADHD, that I know for sure is true, but if he also has these LD's, its just got to be soooo much harder for him. Lord help me! When will it end!

[lillian]

Personally, I found that accommodating and modifying my son's school assignments has made a tremendous difference in his attitude about school. LD's take a real toll on children emotionally. My son is thirteen and doesn't have any academic interests. None. Though he enjoys school and likes attending now, I worry about his lack of interest in anything academic, and I wonder if we had gotten him earlier and remediated him earlier, if he might have a different attitude today. Sad.