My Friends Son

[katiekat]

After reading all this info on ODD I am more than convinced that this is what is going on with my friends son.(I mentioned him in another post-the kid who my son doesn't want to play with and who said he could kill some kids in their sleep) The other day at baseball he got in trouble with the coach and had to run a lap and when he ran by us he threw his hat at his mom and then when he got back he told her to give him him his f-ing hat. But he actually said it. He is so disrespectful to all adults and just incredibly angry. She just screams at him which makes it worse. She took him to a psychologist ONCE but said it was a waste of time. I did try to convince her to keep up the counseling but no go. I know this kid needs help-any suggestions on a "gentle" way to try and convince my friend or should I just come right out and say"Look your kid is headed for big trouble" I don't want to be mean but she is a very hardheaded person and has never taken the subtle hints I have been dropping for 5 years.

[misty]

Hmm....I don't know, KK. Sometimes you lose a friend if you tell them something they don't want to hear (or just aren't ready to hear) . Do you know anyone who's child HAS been Dxed ODD? If you do, you could possibly bring something he did or some help he's gotten into the conversation here & there. Maybe eventually she'd see enough of her son in your stories to start thinking.

I do know that one trip to a psychologist just won't do the trick. My cousin's son is ADHD & ODD & she has him in a program called wrap around, where the therapist comes to HIM. She comes 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes they are at home, but she'll join in on whatever the family is doing & this way she can see how he interacts with people outside his family as well as observe him both at home & in social settings. Also, my cousin & her DH have sessions where they learn different parenting strategies (my cousin used to be a screamer too) to implement with him. Hes 8 now & he's been in this program since he was 5, so its definitely an ongoing thing to deal with ODD.

[katiekat]

I don't actually know any kids DX with ODD but maybe I could make up a hypothetical one. Like "Little Bobby, my cousin's son with ODD"

[misty]

Sure, you could, but be careful! You could get trapped if you lie. BTW, my cousin's son is named Jonathan..(not Bobby...ROFLOL)..you can use him if you want.

[charliegirl]

Would you feel comfortable giving her the link to this site or another one for ODD if you don't want someone you know here? It may help for her to see that many children have this same problem and it isn't just her son. She may be afraid that her parenting is going to be blamed. Actually, the psych probably asked her about her parenting techniques in that one appt and it may have scared her off.'

You could just tell her that in trying to find answers for Sean you found info which sounded a lot like her son and you would like her to see it since its helpful and shows that it isn't always the parent. You could also point out that a site like this covers many types of neurological issues that are similar and if she checks it out she may find exactly what her son is like and then would be armed with something to suggest to the psych in the future.