Post by misty on Jan 6, 2007 18:01:15 GMT -5
cynthiatweedle............Thread Started on Jan 31, 2006, 2:45pm
add.about.com/cs/forparents/a/powerstruggles.htm
Dissipating Power Struggles With Your Children
From Eileen Bailey,
Your Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder.
An argument takes two people, with just one person, it is a temper tantrum.
Power struggles create frustration, anger and resentment for the parent and the child. Resentment can cause a further breakdown of communication until it seems as if all you do is argue with your child.
Prepare Beforehand for Power Struggles
In order to end such arguments, it must be the parent that begins to take charge in a positive way. However, the most effective step, to simply stop arguing, can also be the most difficult.
Choose Consequences Carefully
When preparing the choices, make sure to list only those that you are willing to carry out. If you are not willing to pick up your child and bring them to school in their pajamas, don’t threaten to or they will know that they still have control of the situation.
Some examples of choices to give your children:
* You can do your homework, or tomorrow I will walk into school with you to let your teacher know why your homework is not completed.
* You can get dressed, or you can go out exactly as you are.
* You can clean your room, or you can sit home while your friends go out.
* You can clean up the dishes, or you can sit with no TV tonight.
* You can be pleasant at the dinner table, or you can leave the room and eat your dinner alone, after we are finished.
* You can be nice to your brother/sister or you can sit in the chair by yourself.
* You may pick up your toys, or I will put them in a box and put them away for 1 week.
Always reiterate to your child that their behavior is their choice.
Old habits are hard to break, so it may take awhile for your children to understand that you are serious and are no longer being controlled by their emotional outbursts. Keep your cool and continue about your day, not letting them see the frustration you feel. And always, always, go through with the outcome that you have described to them. Be consistent.
Most importantly, when the make the right decision, be sure to give them a big hug and let them know how proud of them you are.
add.about.com/cs/forparents/a/powerstruggles.htm
Dissipating Power Struggles With Your Children
From Eileen Bailey,
Your Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder.
An argument takes two people, with just one person, it is a temper tantrum.
Power struggles create frustration, anger and resentment for the parent and the child. Resentment can cause a further breakdown of communication until it seems as if all you do is argue with your child.
Prepare Beforehand for Power Struggles
In order to end such arguments, it must be the parent that begins to take charge in a positive way. However, the most effective step, to simply stop arguing, can also be the most difficult.
Choose Consequences Carefully
When preparing the choices, make sure to list only those that you are willing to carry out. If you are not willing to pick up your child and bring them to school in their pajamas, don’t threaten to or they will know that they still have control of the situation.
Some examples of choices to give your children:
* You can do your homework, or tomorrow I will walk into school with you to let your teacher know why your homework is not completed.
* You can get dressed, or you can go out exactly as you are.
* You can clean your room, or you can sit home while your friends go out.
* You can clean up the dishes, or you can sit with no TV tonight.
* You can be pleasant at the dinner table, or you can leave the room and eat your dinner alone, after we are finished.
* You can be nice to your brother/sister or you can sit in the chair by yourself.
* You may pick up your toys, or I will put them in a box and put them away for 1 week.
Always reiterate to your child that their behavior is their choice.
Old habits are hard to break, so it may take awhile for your children to understand that you are serious and are no longer being controlled by their emotional outbursts. Keep your cool and continue about your day, not letting them see the frustration you feel. And always, always, go through with the outcome that you have described to them. Be consistent.
Most importantly, when the make the right decision, be sure to give them a big hug and let them know how proud of them you are.
