Allowance question

[misty]

unicorn-tiff'smom................Thread Started on Sept 10, 2006, 5:17pm

Just curious...

Yesterday we had this discussion about why no allowance was being given anymore. I replied because you won't do your chores anymore. I also said if your do your chores you will receive it again.

This caused a spur of activity. Last night a certain someone helped me put away 4 baskets of laundry (onto hangers and in drawers and all), cook dinner, feed the cat, took a bath without being told, set and cleared the dinner table, actually put dirty clothes in the hamper. I wondered if this was an episode of invasion of the body snatchers.

We made new and improved chores charts and marked off what she did.

Now I hope this works and isn't just going to last a few days.

How many incorporate allowance or some other reward into their chores or are your children just doing chores, because it is what they should learn how to do as they get older to be self sufficient?


misty

I tell you, I go back & forth on this issue. I do think that kids should help around the house just because they are members of the family & families need to work together. That being said, there have been times I refused to give Shannon spending money because she hadn't been pulling her weight around the house. Basically though, we don't give an "allowance" but prefer to just give her spending money as she needs it (for book fairs, when she goes with her friends, etc).


katiekat

It's the same way at my house Uni. The kids start out all gung ho about chores and allowance and then it gradually dwindles to nothing. Or if money is needed its"what can I do for money?" Of course they never want to do anything useful that would actually be a help. I stopped the whole allowance thing. I figure they get a place to live. food, clothes, extra-ciricular activities and so on and so on.


unicorn-tiff'smom

I see your points Misty and Katiekat. She is beginning to realize that I have to work for everything that her and I have. And when I do say she can't have something it isn't always because I am sooo mean to her, lol. It is because I can't afford it at the time, or feel she doesn't need it, etc. So I am having her learn that if she really wants something, she needs to work for it. So far, it day 3 and she is still stikcing to doing things on her chart. When she takes her purse to the store now and sees how much something costs and looks to see how much it leaves her with, she is thinking twice about it, where as before, it was gimmy, gimmy gimmy.

We went to staples over the weekend and she wanted these fancy, pretty mechanical pencils. There were 10 in a pack for almost 7.00 and the refills were almost 4.00. She only had 8.00. So she got the not so pretty pack of 4 with some extra refill leads for 6.00. Life lesson learned. Where any other time before, she would have thrown a fit until I caved and bought the 10 pack.

[misty]

misty

Thats great, Uni! It sounds like you're allowance plan is really working with Tiff! I'm glad.

Shannon has a bank account. She puts birthday $$, Xmas $$, report card $$, etc in there. If she really wants something that I can't or won't buy her, she's allowed to withdraw from that. BUT it has to be something she REALLY wants AND she has to clear it with my mom as well as us! The account she has is with her grandmother so my mom can just deposit $$ for her (Since shes ALWAYS giving it to her anyway). I like it though because she usually has to wait a day or 2 to get with her grandmother & go get money out, which gives her extra time to decide if a purchase is really worth it. Lots of times she decides its not.


bugsmom

I'm with Misty on the allowance thing. I have never given Josh an allowance because I've always felt that he needed to contribute without earning anything. He's a member of the family and he is just expected to pull his weight. Not that he has that much weight to pull, just cleaning his room, putting his laundry away, dishes in the sink...everyday stuff. Now if he does extra's like mowing the lawn, taking the garbage out, weeding the garden, I will give him a couple dollars for that. He actually got really smart this past summer and went out and got 3 lawn mowing jobs in our neighborhood. He brought home $25.00 bucks a week and was just beside himself! He made a lot of money this summer. And the funny thing is, he will not spend a penny of it. It just cracks me up, had no problem asking me to pay for something and when I told him he was a working man now and that it had to come out of his pocket, he just moved along. I just get such a kick out of that. Anyway, he's learned a great lesson this summer, that hard work will pay off. I'm really proud of him. ;D



marja

Count me on being the mean mom who wans everyone to participate without being payd of it

I also give them spending money when needed, but no allowance....


john

Put your dishes/cups IN THE DISHWASHER, it's not ROCKET.SURGERY ! ! ! " Yikes ~ how hard can this be ?!, it's only 36'' away. Even Worse is not even putting them in the SINK ! Everybody but ME, is Guilty of this in our family.
We do the same about allowances, if they need money for something we think about it before we give them the money. No more of this just handing out money and trying to remember who did OR didn't do what that week.




Rae70

I think the same way - however my hubby doesnt so they know where to go to ask for a buck! lol

[misty]

unicorn-tiff'smom

First full week with the new chart and responsibilities. She has a 98.9% completion rate of all the things on the list. The only one she is having trouble with is making her bed. But has been taking a bath and brushing teeth (2 other jobs) without her usual battle this week. She has one more day to go until she'd get her allowance. I hope this continues and starts to become habits as we do the same jobs as adults.


unicorn-tiff'smom

Here is the chart I am using... I found it on the link below.

www.paintedgold.com

once you get into the sight scroll down to "the power of chores charts", then I used the one entitled "kid's free chores chart."

I put Tiff's name at the top and the weeks dates also at the top. Together we decided what where going to be considered. We picked 12. Not all are done everyday and some only in the morning and some at night. So maybe it is only up to 6 a day that she has to do. We are using gold stars to mark off when she does a chore and it is hanging on her bathroom door with the stickers taped there too. Oh, at the bottom it has a spot to put a goal that you are working towards. For this first week, she just wanted an allowance. Next week I may try to have her pick a different goal.

I photcopied several weeks worth so we will have them for a while.

Hope it works for you Rae.

I have enjoyed other parts of that site too. Check it out.




candyhound

when i was younger i never had to do chores to get allowance lol. all i had to do was not g et into trouble. but 75% of the time i never got allowance because id do something and then get my allowance taken away for up to 3 months. then id think 3 months is like an eternity so what do i have to lose i wont care if its a little longer because i lived in the now so i didnt care about what would happen 3 months from then. so i contuned to misbehave. so my suggestion to everyone is if you're going to take allowance away aonly take it away for a week at a time. that way your kids have time to think and wont just get worse and worse as time goes on.



alan

I have been paying my daughter for chore work in stead of giving allowance i feel it teaches her about earning the money she receives. I was pleased to find out she had saved it and was wanting to buy a computer type game it made me think yay good for you girl dont waste what ya graft for. I think she is mature for her age but i am biased as a parent.

puzzled

My 13 year old babysits for his 2 nieces and nephew one night a week and gets paid by his sister (their mom) $4 and hour...they are aged 2, 4, and 6. She is teaching dance classes in the same building, but he is responsible for getting them something for dinner (usually boxed mac and cheese or chicken noodle soup, or leftover pizza) and getting them ready for and in bed, because she is not done until almost 9. He earns about $15 a week for that and he saved it to buy himself a playstation game...

She has a deal with him that each time he "loses" one of the kids (one of them comes out to the dance floor to her) he loses a dollar...he rarely loses one of them!

I think that it is great "future daddy" practice for him!