unacceptable behavior

[crazyhouse]

I am so unable to communicate with my 5 yr old because I just want to scream!!!!! I have been having a harder time with Jake more and more everyday from not listening to not being able to go to the grocery store with him unless there is another adult to assist me. (I take my nieghbor) and lately she can't even handle him! Tonight Jake came home from school and I was making a nice chocalate cake with purple frosting I let him help me with the colors. I made meatloaf mash potatoes and cheese cauliflower. (he does not like vegatables) that's why I made the cake to lure him into eating the vegatables. Jake was sitting at the table for two and a half hours, but thats not the bad part about this whole situation. Somewhere in that time my 11 mth old crawled over to me in the living room so I pick him up to play with him when I kissed his head I smelled something I couldn't place it but it was familiar. Smelled like cologne so I investigated the bathroom for deoderent sticks or soap bars that looked like Kevin casualties just in case. I found nothing. So I smelled his mouth nothin in there. OK

So I went to check on the child not eating dinner, and my kitchen was overwhelmed with this smell the same smell Kevin had on top of his head!!! What is that Jacob. Then I remembered cleaning a carpet spot in the living room and leaving it on the dishwasher in the kitchen. So I asked him what he had been doing with my spray and he lied!!!!!!!! I put the spray away and said you could make him sick, blind or even die. Then I asked did you put this in his mouth or in his eyes and he calmly said no then I told him he was getting NO CAKE!!!! Thats where he lost it not that he could of made his brother really sick that he wasn't getting cake.

So I put him in the shower and told him he would be going to bed early "with no cake" YES!!!!! Help me understand why his brother never seeing or getting really sick is just not as important as cake, I don't get it. So then he asks if he can put the plug in the bathtub to take a shower bath (my husband does this) and I told him that would be a privledge and he lost priledges until tommorow. My husband comes home and I fill him in, in the kitchen my husband goes back to check on him and he has the drain plug in. Am I stuck on mute does no one hear me. So his little wet butt got two wacks and I ended up soaping him down because he was still so upset that there was just no cake for him.

Got him out of the shower got him dressed gave him medicine and sent him to bed by 8:45 Why does he not understand consicuences I've tried but what am I doing wrong. This isn't the first situation that he has done something like this we are haveing these problems every week!!!!!! Some days I want to go on vacation away from my family just to get some rest

[katiekat]

Crazyhouse I certainly feel your pain, I have many days like that. And I never take Sean to the food store with me anymore because of his out of control behavior. One thing I have a very hard time making him understand is that we all have rights in the house and he is not the only one whose feelings and wants matter. He truly believes that when he wants something he is entitled to it right at that moment and if he doesnt get it he will make us miserable. When he gets like that I just send him to his room or I will explode.

[crazyhouse]

KK I just don't understand how he has no fear of consicuenses( I always spell that wrong) like if you put your hands in the snow they will get cold or something simple like spraying chemicals on your brother will hurt him I don't get it. no matter what I say it doesn't click or make its way into the thought process no hesitation nothing

[charliegirl]

I so know how you feel. Fortuately for me, I didn't have a younger child in the house when my son was that age so I didn't have to worry about him hurting someone younger.

I think anything I can say would be something you already know and that you are just overwhelmed, so I just want you to know that I know what you are going through and I'm sorry you are going through it.

Is there any way you can leave the kids and get away for even a couple of hours without them? I think doing something just for you and without having to deal with a kid in any form is something you really need right now.

[katiekat]

You are so right CG it really is a big help to just get away for a few hours. Thats pretty much why I went back to work. And why my husband and I make sure we go out out together,alone one night a week. Everyone needs a break now and then. It makes it easier to deal with.

[crazyhouse]

Usually I go to work 6 nights a week for three hours at a really nice quiet country club, but they are doing a remodel on 3 rooms this year and so they are closed for 6 weeks. Every year they close between Jan and March. I can't wait to go back. My husband works so many hours that there is no way of going out once a week. Plus the only one I can leave him with right now is my mother who has been very busy herself lately. The last time we were able to go out alone was my husbands christmas party in the middle of Dec!!! Before that was my Christmas Party in the end of Nov. It's not the money it's time we have none to spare for eachother because were always wprking on chores or spending time with kids.

[charliegirl]

Do you know anyone who you could trust to watch the baby during the day for a couple of hours while Jake is in school? You could go shopping or have your hair done or something that is totally for you?

[crazyhouse]

Unfortunately she is only available at night. She cares for an elderly woman in the day for a couple hours.