Pets???

[meli]

My ds wants a hamster. Iam not sure if he is ready for this responsibility. I can imagine all kinds of unessasary stress from this! Not cleaning the cage, letting the thing get lost in the house ect...

I know deep down that it wold be good for him to have something of his own to take care of.

I was wondering what others have exsperienced with their ADHD child with taking on this kind of responsibility?

He really dose not have much of any thing to be responsible for now! Keeping his floor in his room picked up so I can come in and kiss him good night with out killing myself. Thats about it!

Should I give him a practice run with some thing else first? See if he can be responsible for Something for a couple of weeks?

[katiekat]

This is just my personal opinion and keep in mind that I am an anti-animal person to start with. My older son is 11 and does not have ADHD and still cannot be responsible for a pet. We had a dog that he was all gung-ho about but the novelty wore off real quick. After a few weeks he took no responsibility whatsoever. He liked to play with the dog but not feeding,walking, cleaning up after. From my experiences the kids always want the pet but after the newness wears off mom gets all the responsibilty.
My younger son who is 6 (and also ADHHHHHD)LOL, I would worry about with something like a hamster. I would be very concerned about him hurting it. Not out of meaness but just because he is so hyper/reckless/careless.
Sorry to be the voice of negativity!

[puzzled]

Well here is my experience.....Jonna, my oldest and ADHD, though we did not know it then, had a guinea pig....even at age 18 this girl could not take care of that pet! He lived upstairs in her room, and if he even heard anyone on the downstairs landing, he would begin squealing to get their attention because she neglected him so badly....we would hear him banging his water bottle over and over trying in vain to get some water....I would get it for him if she wasn't home to send to do it. She is now almost 27 and has cats that she doesn't care for properly....

Chelsea, who is not ADHD had a hamster when she was about 9, and she did pretty well with it, as well as a guinea pig when she was older. The hamster regularly got out of his cage, don't ask me how, I nicknamed him "houdini", because he would be out of the cage and the door would still be latched...no clue how he managed it! She needed some reminders at times to clean the cage because mom refused to touch it! Too much like a mouse for me! But she did ultimately take care of it pretty well.

[misty]

I AM an animal person & I still agree with KatieKat!! We have 2 dogs, a cat & 2 pet rats. My ADD daughter is 12 & still shows no sense of responsibility towards them. She will feed them, water them , etc when we remind her to, but if we didn't remind her, they'd be dead by now. Of course, being the animal lover I am, I fell in love with the critters & refuse to be parted from them, so they stay! Shannon's now begging for a lizard, but I put my foot down. Anything that eats live insects WILL not be coming into the home & eventually become my responsibility! LOL!

[meli]

I guess one of the reasons I was even concedering this is I really want him to have a scence of ownership. That This is all his and he has total controll over it!

I want him to feel like he can do something right with out me having to tell him all the time! Heve a scence of accomplishment!

Maybe we will give it a month trail and see how it goes! He even wants to but it with his own money! He has been rather hatefull to him self latly and this actually made him very excited!

Hmmmmm I will have to kep thinking about this!

[jj]

Meli, I do like your idea of giving him something else to be responsible for but you'd have to give it more than a couple weeks as that is about when the novelty wears off and the sluffing off begins.

Face it. The chances of you becoming the caretaker of the animal are probably 97%. Either that or you will become the nagger.

I adore animals but I hate to see mishandled/mistreated animals. If the lesson is for him to be responsible for something I would vote no on the animal. Unless he is showing great responsibilty doing the chores he is assigned to do now then maybe....

However, I am all for having a family pet, preferably a dog for rough and tumble boys.

[puzzled]

jj actually that is not a bad plan....

meli, what you need to do is tell him that a pet is a huge responsibility, a live being that is totally dependent on him....and that before you will agree, he needs to show that he is responsible. Use a chart, or whatever you are using for discipline/chores and tell him that once he can remember (w/o you having to remind him) his chores, then you will reconsider the pet idea. Give him chores like making his bed, bringing down his laundry, brushing his teeth, getting dressed in the morning....things that need done regularly....

[charliegirl]

We had hamsters and while they were adorable and fun, most of the responsibility fell on me. They are not easy to keep clean either. You have to empty the cage and wash it thoroughly every 3 or 4 days at the least unless you want to live with the smell. In between, you need to scoop out the dirty litter and put fresh in. I just don't see a kid with ADHD ever being that responsible. I hated doing it myself.

If you really want him to have a pet, I would suggest something larger and more independant. My son loves his cat but if I were to get another pet, I think I would get a dog that he could really play with. I know I'd still have to feed it and take care of it, but at least it would be something a boy would be likely to play with and pay attention to over the long haul. It is also more able to withstand the rough and tumble fun boys enjoy so much.

Are you able to have a dog where you are? I just thought of that.

[misty]

Charliegirl brought up an excellent point: Any small, caged animal smells BAD if the litter isn't changed regularly! My girl will change the rats litter, but only after a lot of nagging from us....& most often I end up doing it myself. Oh & paying for it himself is no guarantee. Shannon bought the rats, their cage & all their toys herself & still lost interest after the novelty wore off.

Another good thing about a dog is the loyalty/protective factor. Our Pit Bull has clearly chosen our daughter as her human. She will sleep with Shannon when Shannon's sick, she will run to Shannons side if she feels Shannon is in any danger, no matter how small. It may be me who feeds & grooms the dog, but its Shannon who she'll run to for a game of fetch or a walk around the block. And that's the one thing Shannon will do without nagging...walk the dog!

[puzzled]

My cats are like that with the boys...I have 2 cats, and yes, I have to clean the litter boxes...but the boys do feed them without MY nagging...the cats will follow them around meowing and rubbing on them until they get their attention, then run toward their dish....kinda like "Come on, follow me!" They don't give up till they succeed in getting that dish filled! One of them sleeps all night with Chase, and helps me wake him in the mornings, and the other starts the night with Jake, then comes to my bed sometime in the night and is always there in the mornings.....

A cat or a dog would be my choice as well, but mostly because any rodent-like being and me do not get along....