New mom pre-diagnosed

[weeksmom04]

;D

Hello everyone I am a stay at home mom of 4 children (stay at home because its hard to keep a job when your son refuses to go to school some mornings).

I have 3 girls (15, 6 and 4) and 1 son (8). My CJ started his behavior problems rather young in life but apparantly behavior problems in a 1 year old is early onset terrible twos then of course at 2 they won't diagnose a child with anything. At 4 his behavioral problems were labeled sibling rivalry, poor parenting and I should choose my battles, pick a punishment and stick with it. At 5 when he was in Kindergarten they put him in counseling and labeled his unwillingness to go to school separation anxiety which his counselor quickly said absolutly not - she said his willingness to go play with her on thier first meeting was definately not separation anxiety but that she could see him in the future being diagnosed with ODD but she wouldn't "label" him at the first meeting. After 3 months of counseling all behavior was corrected with different discipline's she had us try at home so she refused to label him anything and sent us on our way.

Presently - my son will turn 9 in 18 days and at least twice a day we get into yelling matches and he runs up the stairs letting me know how much he hates me, wishes he were never born, and hopes that I am cursed.

I have had to stop taking him to church on Sundays because I am his Sunday School teacher and well enough said.

I honestly cannot tell you where the current problem started or when the behaviors started going haywire again all I can say is that there definately isn't enough coffee in the world to keep this mommy sane anymore.

I called my sons doctor this morning - they checked his file and she gave me the Vanderbilt paperwork to fill out so basically I guess - This is the first step - <taking a big deep breath>

Beth

[bugsmom]

Hi Weeks!


Just wanted to Welcome you to our group. I'm so glad that you've found us. Please ask any questions that you can come up with. We've all been in your shoes and I'm sure we can help you along the way. The Vanderbilt is a beginning, but it doesn't mean a final diagnosis. If your concerns are huge, I would seek out a professional that deals with these issues, such as a neuro-psycholgist or child psychiatrist. They are the best at dealing with our type of childen.

I'm taking a deep breath with you...I've been there and know the feeling. Just remember your doing the best you can do to help your child. It may take some time, but I know you'll get there, and we'll be cheering you along the way!

Welcome!

[misty]

I think Bugsmom said it all...lol. Just keep drinking that coffee & feel free to come here to vent, cry,rejoice, or ask questions. You have a long, rocky road ahead of you, but you are taking the right steps & we are here for you whenever you need us.

I agree with Bugsmom ...its a good idea to go to someone more specialized in these types of things to get a final diagnosis, but the Vanderbilt is a fine start.

[kristine]

Welcome Weeks!!

I am in the same boat as you. We went though the same thing, but long before the school years. The outburst coming from nowhere, behaviours that were unexplainable, and living with a child you somehow lost somewhere. You really don’t know when it started, or if it’s going to end. That just getting through today, hanging on to your last nerve, it becomes the norm for you.

I have to say that a soon as you know what’s going on with your child, how to deal with it, and you’ll find your own way of doing this. It’s like the mother and baby re-bonding starts all over again. And don’t allow yourself to feel defeated through this journey...and always, always, always, breathe!!

[katiekat]

8-)Welcome! We will all be here to help you along every step of the way.

[jj]

Welcome! So very glad you found us too! I hope you'll just make yourself at home and jump right in there if you have any questions, just want to chat, or whatever.

[charliegirl]

Welcome! I think the others have said it all. We have all been there so don't hesitate to ask questions or just vent. Sometimes just being able to vent the frustrations to people who understand can make all the difference.

[lillian]

Welcome to the board!

You're taking him to Vanderbilt in Nashville? If so, it's an excellent place for evaluations. There are some learning disability researchers there, who are the best in the country.

Can you give us some more information about your son? Does he have behavior issues in school or only at home? Is he able to make and keep friends? Does he get along with his siblings? How are his sleep patterns?

ODD, which was mentioned to you when he was younger, is most often the result of something else--autism, bipolar, severe anxiety, severe ADHD, etc. It's rarely, and some argue never, a disorder that stands by itself.

[weeksmom04]

I am in Buffalo, NY and my son's doctor's office gave me a Vanderbilt Question form for me to fill out and one for the school to fill out.

His behavior problems are mostly just at home. He is good with his friends (but I'm guessing that is because all they ever do is play video games). He can play with his sisters without incident but sadly that doesn't happen too often.

He hits his sisters when they do something he doesn't like, his anger management skills are nonexistent, he yells and screams when he is told no he can't do something and if we say I don't know or please wait a bit he continually asks it seems every second until we blow up at him.

If we ask him to do a chore OMG you would think we asked him to lift a million pounds he has a complete meltdown.

There are times I admit that I give in just to avoid the temper and I know hubby lets him play video games just to keep him occupied.

He does have problems learning - we have overcome some reading problems with the help of his teachers but math takes him forever - he knows how to do it I think it just takes a little bit more time for his brain to understand what it is he is supposed to be doing.

Sleep Patterns - He sleeps well most nights he goes to bed at 8:30 pretty much goes right to sleep and is up between 7 and 7:30 on his own unless it is a school day and then I actually have to pull him out of bed.

I have been doing so much research in the past few days that I believe he will be diagnosed ADHD/ODD.

I am not making any definate plans for it but if I am expecting it, it won't come as such a shock.

Thank you all for all your help and warms welcomes.

Beth

[lillian]

Hang in there! It's so tough when our kids are young. When is your appointment with the doctor?