CHILDREN WITH OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER

[misty]

All children are oppositional from time to time, particularly when tired, hungry, stressed or upset. They may argue, talk back, disobey, and defy parents, teachers, and other adults. Oppositional behavior is often a normal part of development for two to three year olds and early adolescents. However, openly uncooperative and hostile behavior becomes a serious concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it affects the child's social, family, and academic life.

In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning. Symptoms of ODD may include:

www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/72.htm

[katiekat]

I am certainly no professional but today I diagnosed Sean with ODD.

[charliegirl]

From everything you have said, I would be surprised if he isn't.

[misty]

You know, KK...I'm surprised the Drs haven't already suggested it. Sean is a lot like my cousins son, Jonathan, who's ODD. And he also seems manipulative & shows different behavior for different adults. My cousin has him in some program where the therapist comes to the house a couple times a week so that they can deal with the real scenarios & not just be in an office setting. I can find out what the programs called if you want to see if its available where you live.

[katiekat]

I don't understand why no doctor has ever menioned it as a possibility either. I mean how do they decide if the kid has ODD or is just a complete brat?
If you can find out what the program is called I'd love to know. Or maybe we can go live at the Dr. Phil house for a while.

[misty]

KK, My cousin said its called Wraparound. The therapist comes to the house & watches how the child interacts in his own environment. She said after awhile as her son became used to her being there she became like a part of the family (not really but I mean he started acting like he usually does instead of like theres a "guest" there). They not only teach the child, but they teach the parent how to better interact with the child & deal better with the misbehavior. She said you should ask his Dr or the family Dr for agencies that offer wraparound in area. I hope that helps!

[lillian]

KK,

I also would look at Reactive Attachment Disorder for your stepson. The way he pushes all your buttons and pits you against his father makes me go, "Hmm."

www.radkid.org/

[katiekat]

I mentioned this in the past to his (old)psychiatrist and was dismissed. It was brought to my attention by a friend of mine who said Sean reminded her a lot of her son(who was adopted from Romania at age 8) and had RAD. He has so many symptoms that fit so many diagnoses but some are exclusive to RAD.
1.False reports of abuse/neglect. He does this a lot. He'll tell us his mother didn't feed him, tell his g-parents we don't feed him etc. In fact the other day at the eye dr. he actually told the doctor that we don't allow him to wear his glasses(ridiculous) and that "I haven't been allowed in my own home for 2 months."(he spent 2 weeks at his bio. mom's)
2.He can't let you be nice to him. As soon as things are going well he will intentionally anger you,pushes you away and makes you dislike him.
3.NO empathy
4.Nonsense talk/questions. This is a BIG one.
5.Superficial charm to others. This kids middle name is MANIPULATOR.
I think the criteria for RAD is Sean to a T. This is a bad thing though. My friend's son tried to stab her husband and burn the house down and ended being removed from the house by DYFS because he was considered a danger to the family.

[lillian]

Yes, I've heard of that severe of behavior from children who were orphans in Eastern Europe, but you have to understand what those children went through. Thousands were left in cribs alone with absolutely no human affection. They were never held, rocked, breast fed, etc. I met a woman when I served on the grand jury who belonged to a volunteer organization that went to Romania to give physical affection to the orphans. The organization rotated people out a month at a time, to go over to Romania and hold the orphans. These people spent all day going from bed to bed, holding, rocking, and kissing the babies. Social scientists proved long ago that primates, as humans are, not given physical affection as infants will develop neurotic behavior and, as Jane Goodall proved in her research, can literally die, even when given all the basics for survival--food, water, shelter. That's why anthropologists often include love as a basic need for survival, as well as food, water, and shelter.

I don't think you have any reason at all to worry about this severe of behavior from your stepson. He was not completely denied affection, and he still has a natal parent present in his life.

[Lori O'Day]

My son is ADHD, sensory integration disorder, and ODD - most of the ODD difficulties are with his respect or lack of respect for authority. He does what he is told (by me and his Dad, my husband) but to my son, you have to prove yourself as someone who ought to be respected. Respect your elders? Yeah, right - not a mantra my son has internalized fully. His grandfather LOVES this

To me, it seems this greater issue stems more from his inability to assess a situation in the heat of the moment and then regulate his state of arousal and eliminate impulsivity, rather than a blatent disregard for authority or an intentional attempt for opposition. I know this is a bunch of psychobabble BUT I have made it a full time job to understand the underlying concepts in my son's behavior so I can suite his environment for his needs while he is learning to cope and adapt.

Honestly, he presents as oppositional and defiant BUT, as the mother of this best 9 year old boy on the planet, I know it all boils down as ADHD and lack of control of arousal which is the defining characteristic of such. Dr Barkley and Dr Halloway have explained this SOOOO well to me via their books and articles (at least, how it applies to my son in particular).

Their particular books of which I speak:
Your Defiant Child (Barkley)
Taking Charge of ADHD (Barkley)
Delivered from Distraction (Halloway)